But once you pop, you just can't stop.
this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
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I don't know. I hear they're pretty rich.
I keep telling yas, them damn oligarchs have way too much gristle!
Gotta trim the fat you know
Luigi shot one, they only upped their security. We must not stop at one.
Brian Thompson only had a net worth of $43m when he died.
That is mere pocket change to the actual Billionaire class, where the three most wealthy individuals on this planet each extract $40m+ of interest on their net worth PER DAY.
Damn, imagine if people actually kidnapped Elon Musk and ate it live
Well first of all he's entirely innocent. So jot that down.
But if someone like Luigi had killed that CEO, that still wouldn't be the same as a billionaire.
We didn't eat him. I really think it's the cannibalism that sends the message.
Holy cow and sacred broccoli.
Kuru is a thing.
Let's not do that. Let's put them to work. Proper work. Like plowing fields. By hand. Under the sun. From sun up to sun down.
I know many hungry dogs that would be fine with it
In fact, billionaire dog chow sounds like a great treat.
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Kuru happens when you eat brains, just don't eat brains and you'll be ok.
I wouldn't expect more value from their physical labor.
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That one wasn't eaten.
that's the point, it can't be just one. has to be at least two or three.
After the first one they did get scared like you said. Even the health insurance companies got a bit scared and for a brief time they started "doing good". briefly. then they waited. no one else got whacked. so it was back to the "norm".
You gotta cull a few of them in order for things to change.
CEOs aren't often billionaires, they 100% do the whipping for them though
Once is an outlier. Twice is a coincidence. Three or more is a threat.
Not to be disrespectful to Japan, but it's like the dropping of the atom bombs in WW2: the first one sends the message that we have the power to do it, the second sends the message that we're not afraid to keep doing it
We eat the top 3 billionaires each year, redistribute their wealth, and watch them all climb over each other for the #4 spot
All they have to do is give away enough to not be billionaires anymore. Seems more than fair.
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We eat the top 10 at least. Any less and the message won't be clear.
Once you pop, you can't stop.
Why do we want the rest to fall in line? Why not just eat them all, and prevent the next billionaire from ever existing in the first place?
"fall in line" here means redistribute their unearned wealth
it means avoiding being eaten. The People are easily placated. That's how they become billionaires to begin with, no one stops them because shiny thing! The other billionaires would each donate like 10% of their wealth to foundations they already control and people will think that's so fucking awesome of them.
then we'll eat a second
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Real shame we couldn't get everybody to agree that a person is entitled to a bounty. Like take out a Billionaire, and you're entitled to take like 2 million for every billion they were worth, and the rest is redistributed.
I mean just putting the idea out there, and making them think even their secretary or cook might be thinking that 2m+ is looking pretty tasty. They'd live looking over their shoulders their whole life. Could literally be anybody, at anytime, including one of their guards.
Every year we wicker man the wealthiest person and their wealth gets used for social programs until poverty (i.e. food water shelter medical insecurities) is eliminated.
Billionaire Royale.
One enters the danger zone at X dollar. They make money with speculation and interest, so they have to donate / get rid of it before the countdown stops.
Floating wealth cap. The richest person in the country is responsible for everyone's health care. When their wealth is depleted to #2's level, #2 starts sharing the load.
Keep adding social programs until everyone is down to #1000's level.
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Don’t eat shit, mulch the rich. Much more entertainment potential, and more hygienic.
And we get to learn about proper wood chipper safety!
I want to try some, are we going with a stew, spit-roast, stir-fry, braised, confit, steamed, ceviche, schnitzel, kebab or tandoori?
I'd make a joke about spit-roasting Peter Theil but I don't want him to sic Hulk Hogan on me.
Fortunately, Hulk is dead. But now I forgot the joke.
Feel free to add or edit it if you come up with it.
We don’t need to eat them, we need to chop them.
Yeah, I usually chop my food before cooking. Did you think we were gonna just gnaw all the meat off their bones or smth?
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One every year until they cease to exist as a concept.
Jest aside i have often considered a concept where the richest person in the world has half their wealth liquidated and distributed in equal share among the 25% poorest.
We then repeat this process again and again as needed.
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As in literally eat one? Ew, I don't want to get billionaire cooties
Can we do something else instead?
We need to set an example that will resonate throughout history. So, we eat them all.
Agreed, im a vegetarian but I’ll take a bite of the billionaire just to prove a point.
I've long argued that billionaire flesh is vegan because there is a net negative of suffering when they're consumed.
Eat all of them.
Sorry but nah, it'll take way more than one.
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