My wife got one of these tortoises. It was so cute 8 years ago. Now it fucking 60lbs and growing! Don't get one of these without looking them up first. My favorite line from the care sheet. It says, if you don't mind mucking up after a pony....
this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2026
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And will probably live longer than you.
Frankly an average tortoise has a good chance of outliving your grandchildren.
150 years is not an unreasonable upper bound for their lifespan, for the larger species.
And up to 200lbs if a male, and ours is a male.
Fun fact due to this and weird political incidents a tortoise was the only creature to survive the Crimean war. Basically the war declaration included a town in Britain which is a part of Britain but not in Britain. Said town was not included in the peace treaty, as a result technically the war went on for over 200 years between Russia and this town even though fighting stopped way earlier. A tortoise was on one of the ships at the start and was still alive when this town signed it own peace treaty with Russia. Since it went on for 200+ years, no human survived the entire thing making this tortoise the only known survivor.
know that I
It's an African spurred or Sulcata if anyone is still interested.
Cool turts don't look at explosions!
Also, she prob isn't scared of the fire, she is running away from that sus Mario-looking pipe over there! Run!!
Video: https://inv.nadeko.net/watch?v=7etv_-Rnub4
Pretty great slip from the anchor saying, "The fire started inside the shell... inside the shed..."
Strong shell and feets for marching!
Unmute to hear the tortoise cursing
Scrambling?
It might be hard to see with the speed blur, but the tortoise is in the center bottom of the photo in front of the grass.
You sure SLAMMED Quilotoa with your comment!
(Exaggeration in headline languages is insane these days)
He's just doing it in slow motion to look cooler.
I'm really surprised no one photoshopped in a Mario with the fire flower
Slow news day?
Your tortoise overlords HATE this one simple trick!