this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2026
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Science Memes

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"When someone says „Scientists do not want you to know“ you can dismiss everything from there on. Scientists want you to know. They are desperate that you know. They can’t shut up about what they found out and want you to know."

all 18 comments
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[–] Una@europe.pub 37 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Scientists do not want you to know but you can become a cat by meowing loud enough.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago
[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Username checks out. The profile pictures, however, do not. Is that a quokka?

[–] Una@europe.pub 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

It is Evil kitty

They sound like "awawa" and like they are yelling.

[–] JargonWagon@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Do scientists want us to know about the misuse of p values in their research papers?

[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Yes. You think the average scientist wants to be wasting their time creating catch-all experiments in order to get published so they can secure more grants? Of course not, they want to follow their curiosity to answer big questions or fail to get the answers but answer other questions. This model wastes everyone's time for extremely small gains. But it's all about stakeholder's investments.

[–] LilithElina@literature.cafe 6 points 3 days ago

Probably not, but we (and many scientists) know about it anyway.

[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Scientist don't want you to ask questions about mouse 40 that spontaneously combusted during the cancer drug trial. Their funding depends on noone discussing mouse 40.

[–] reabsorbthelight@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

"After excluding outliers, we found no signs of spontaneous combustion as a side effect"

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Scientists don't want you to know what kind of underwear they're wearing

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Of course, that would ruin the double blind study on underwear preference.

[–] Lichtblitz@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 3 days ago

Waaaait... double blind?

IT IS FRILLY AND PINK

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

It’s all fun and games until the scatologist shows up.

Then it’s all poop jokes.

[–] laserwash2000@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

Scientists do not want you to which arm of the study you’re in.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Also ain't none of them conspiring together to hide the truth.

Most scientists are incredibly competitive. And often try to 1-up each other with research to prove the other scientist is wrong. Or at least partially wrong.

That's what they live for.