Mayhem
this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2026
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Flo is actually gangsta af
Hmm, The General’s tough but he’s also short. I bet the emu would fuck him up with one kick!
Mayhem.
Limu emu.
Humans started, and lost the emu wars once already. There's a reason there's never been a second one
Jake from State Farm, because apparently he can transform from a doughy white dude in khakis to a thin, cool, young, light-skinned black guy.
The LiMu Emu.
Those birds are fucking strong.
AND DOUG!
Doug’s gonna last about nine seconds.
The won not one but two wars!
Geico's got a bunch of buff, erudite cavemen in their stable, don't forget.
I vote the cavemen if they come as a group
The GEICO gecko, for sure. He's small and quick so it would be easier to evade attacks while everyone else kills each other.
Mr. Rodgers in a bloodstained sweater, ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny-style.
The general duh, he's got modern munitions.
All enter the arena and are all instantly vaporized by a death ray.
The peasants rejoiced.
Geico piglet with pinwheels
Doesn't the emu have a gun?
or was that the Glockstrich?
Does JK Simmons count as being a mascot? 🤔
That would be his character, Professor Nathaniel Burke of the University of Farmers. We don’t know how much of a badass Prof Burke is, but we do know how much of a badass Simmons is.
Not quite my tempo.
Erin esurance, hands down.
Right. Yes. It's the mascots on track toward this contest. Sure.
No sir. I didn't hear anyone say CEO.