As dumb as this meme is, it also is very true... i definitely signed up for a few things recently and found myself thinking man i can't believe i gotta scroll this long, I really am old.
this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2026
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Make sure to squat with proper form, don't wanna pull a muscle.
That's great, God gave us many many days, all for free! 👍
On the other hand, seeing my lovely curls become slightly grayer/whiter is somewhat annoying, lol. I don't want all these reminders of my mortality when I'm not even 35! Oh well.
When they ask but they start with the current year. Yes, I was born in 2026 now let me in.
This meme has real boomer Facebook vibes; well played.
At least at a PC you can type in the number to get it there quick. Those kinds of selection inputs on a phone suck. Like so much.
I just do January first of however far it goes with a quick swipe.
The distressing part is how that's shifted from saying I'm way older than I am to saying I'm way younger than I am.
Younger....older....I'm all ages and nonexistant at the same time. I am a simple concept. I am insanity. I have 47 arms, 362 penises, 926 vaginas, and 626 totally new genitalia of my own unique creation which I haven't named yet.
I drive an F1 racecar to my job on the moon making space biscuits for cowboys and indians that fight each other on Jupitor.
Your mere mortal laws do not apply to me! I'm inside everybodys butthole, making it itch when you're giving a public speech.
That's a lot of combined urethrae. How do you decide which to pee out of?
User name checks out.
My first name is a random set of numbers and letters and other alphanumerics that changes hourly forever
My last name, a thousand vowels fading down a sinkhole to a sussurus, couldn't just be John Doe or Bingo
My address, a made up language written out in living glyphs, lifted from demonic literature and religious text
Telephone uncovered by purveyors of the Ouija, then checked against the CBGB women's room graffiti
My social, a sudoku
My age is obscure
My 'in-case-of-emergency' is in the daisies chasing birds
Employed by trillionaires with perfect teeth and pores, and people who open doors for the people who open doors
My medical history is a course at SUNY Buffalo
Charlatan psychiatry and troubleshooting undertow
Nervous in the service still,
I'm burger meat and purple pills
"Here, thank you. We'll call your name."
Sure you will
- Aesop Rock, "Shrunk"
Are you also born in the 1900s?