Ask Lemmy

Am not. I am freshly married

I just can't be bothered. Too much work and I want to be selfish with my time.

It's not good to date when I'm crashing out. Nobody's job should be to try and "save me".

Also I've realized most people where I lived are on some dominance-brained shit or have spent most of their lives having to survive living around dominance minded people.

Am not

I'm behaviourally challenged

Eh just kind of stopped caring. Had a bad breakup a decade ago and moved to a new city, went on tons of dates and had a handful of semi successful relationships the first few years but nothing that ever clicked or felt right long term.

Then I went back to school, started a new career and was generally too busy until COVID hit and I realized I was kinda happy being alone. Certainly happier than being in a bad relationship like the last few. So I've just been doing my own thing since then.

I was married til I was 38 (now 48). Got divorced, kids were grown, so I dated. A LOT. I've come to the conclusion that if you are single after 40, you are a basket case. EVERYone that I dated was crazy. Fun, but crazy. I'm just too old for that now. lol. I'd rather read books and hang out with my cat. And yes, I realize people probably think I'm crazy too. #crazycatgentlemen

Never had much luck with anything social my entire life, and I have too many types of problems. I just exist now.

I decided in my mid-to-late 20’s that I did not want kids and that relationships tend to bring too much stress into my life. And from what I’ve seen from most other people’s relationships and marriages, I do not regret my decision. And these aren’t even bad relationships/marriages. They’re very functional. But there’s still stress and “drama” in all of them. No, thanks.

Nearing 40 in an area with nothing but old rich people, currently renting one of their garage "apartments."

Atypical "introverted nerd" type, as in I work in a factory as opposed to the tech field, and am never around people like myself.

On a 1-10 scale of appearance I'm like 2.5

But worst of all, my greatest possible sin, I never want to live with a dog. According to the dating profiles I see that eliminated 99.9999999% of them.

As to why I'll continue to be single aside from all the above, I gave up ~2 years ago. My last relationship was 10 years ago. Some of us just aren't desirable to anyone and I just have to accept that.

Everyone I asked for partnership said no

I have no idea how to approach women and women certainly aren't going to aproach me.

I've lived in the same place for four years, which is the longest I've been anywhere since I was 15, and right now I'm not taking care of any dying relatives which has also been a constant over the years, so I'm not in a rush to make any drastic changes to my situation.

9 year relationship ended 6 months ago and I don't feel like getting into new one anymore.

Because I haven't mastered mitosis yet

im not.

Choice and laziness mostly.

Sorry ladies, this one's taken.

Cause I got married. It's not that different from being single.

Why do you need to know?

I sort of gave up after the last relationship. I can't be arsed with the dating stuff anymore. If someone comes to my door and tells me that we are now in a relationship, sure, fine. But I'm not gonna bother seeking one out. I have books to read.

Because I want to be. I have a few casual partners and am regularly looking for others - but I find that I typically put more into relationships than I get out of them.

I think most people enter into relationships more out of a desire to remove uncertainty in their lives around having companionship (of whatever particular form they desire), and aren't really being served by the relationship. But in life, uncertainty is the only constant, and we grow as people and can materially benefit by embracing it. So my take is that I will only enter into a relationship where I can reasonably expect that the relationship would serve me in achieving what I actually want in life, rather than simply being a crutch to avoid what I don't want. And if I am lonely - then I am lonely. Loneliness is unpleasant. Good. One more unpleasant thing to work on acknowlaging and accepting to increase my inner tranquility.

I'm married, but it's a lot of work.

There are definitely pluses and minuses, but not being lonely is a big plus.

Happiness is transitory personal thing, and marriage and/or life partners won't change that.

I'm not. Keep up!

All the women who want to date me are terrible people who expect me to give up my pets, hobbies, friends, and job. They also have completely different life goals and morals than I do. They want to get rich, party, and lying and cheating is totally OK if they do it.

I've never met a woman who thinks any of those things are positives in my life. I never attract women who like the outdoors, like animals, want kids, and who think 150K/yr is a good job. Some of them exist, but they are already married.

Idk