this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] lookitsjustin@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Anything but the metric system.

7 in - 17.5cm

4in - 10cm

Approx

[–] arotrios@lemmy.world 140 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] msage@programming.dev 4 points 2 days ago

It has just the most adorable face

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 63 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

A four inch hole has a surface area of 12.57 square inches and one seven inches across has a surface area of 38.48 square inches and this means three of them can pass through your ass at the same time without risking damage to your sphincter.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They did the monster math!

The monster math

[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

It was the salesman's path!

The monster math

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] bytejunk@piefed.social 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Which probably cause a serious rash

[–] ElChinchilla@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago
[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yeah but I'm sure prep time and speed is a factor.

If a raccoon just suddenly sprinted out your asshole without warning it's definitely gonna cause some damage

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[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

Too much time determining if you could. Not enough time asking if you should.

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[–] iusemybrain@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

with the power of god and anime on my side I could easily fit three racoon's up my ass.

[–] ILikeStupidMemes@lemmy.zip 13 points 3 days ago

Sly cooper in my pooper

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 39 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Almost two racoons so far

[–] Leather@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (2 children)

No one ever just shows up at the Olympics and gets a gold...

The untrained human ass can stretch that far without damage, but with a little practice?

[–] ms_lane@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

No one ever just shows up at the Olympics and gets a gold...

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Leather@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Exactly! How much further could he have gone if he trained his asshole before hand?

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[–] cattywampas@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago (4 children)

That's gotta be circumference cause ain't no way that diameter is correct.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago

Can't be. That'd be a diameter of only 2.228 inches. That's half a raccoon. Way too small.

[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 3 days ago

Cherish your innocent eyes, the internet can be a nasty place.

[–] Cypher@aussie.zone 8 points 3 days ago

A bad dragon says you’re wrong!

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (2 children)
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How many badgers is that? Asking for a friend.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Almost two raccoons

This is where people get into trouble. They round up. They get sloppy.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They also forget to take into account not every raccoon gets along with every other raccoon. Ever had two raccoons fighting each other whole stuck side by side in your anus?! Not a great time

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

Don't define what is or isn't a great time for me thank you

[–] itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago (4 children)

What you're telling me is I can comfortably house a raccoon up my ass. Why wouldn't I? In this housing market? I could be charging rent!

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[–] myyass@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Perfect post for my user name.

[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 18 points 3 days ago
[–] 0x0@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago

I knew there was a reason 26.04 is called Rancid Racoon.

How the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago
[–] TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Almost as unsettling as having 37 open tabs. Like, I've been there before, and it's never turned out well 😆

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 3 days ago

You mean 438 open tabs?

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

My tabs counter usually just makes this face :o

Edit : went to check. Ive got exactly 37 atm. Had to do a little research to make sure OP isnt me on carbon monoxide

[–] 0x0@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 days ago

Mine's constantly showing ∞.

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 3 days ago

My tab counter addon has no issues displaying numbers like 194

The key to doing this is to put the raccoons in serially. You just can't put them in at the same time.

[–] BigBoyShuanzee@aussie.zone 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Ohh that's why. I had three raccoons and a lot of time on my plate..

Please don't ask me any follow up questions.

[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I have to know what they define as "taking damage" because there's possibility for tearing even with a fraction of that size.

[–] gastroglizzy@piefed.social 8 points 3 days ago

Small numbers begin appearing out of thin air. A red bar drains slowly.

[–] lyralycan@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 days ago

*without training

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