this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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Doing fictional violence against police officers? haram

Violating labor laws in real life? halal

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[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 89 points 2 years ago (1 children)

WE WILL COUP WHOEVER WE WANT

I couldn't bring myself to shoot virtual cops in a videogame

frothingfash

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[–] Rom@hexbear.net 82 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] MattsAlt@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

Didn't like doing poor people crime, rich people crime is much more fun

[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 58 points 2 years ago

buys crime game: the crime. a video game literally named after a crime where you play as a criminal

they make you do crime in it

peppino-holy-shit

[–] Venus@hexbear.net 53 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Shooting cops is like the least evil thing you can do in gta

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

You could blow up Zuck's head in 5

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

You can shoot US soldiers too.

[–] boiledfrog@hexbear.net 47 points 2 years ago

Dumbest man alive

[–] CDommunist@hexbear.net 43 points 2 years ago (1 children)

He flashed a flight attendant

[–] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

it's only a crime if it damages property

otherwise it's just sparkling misbehaviour

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 41 points 2 years ago

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY SNOWFLAKE LIBERAL MUSK

[–] save_vs_death@hexbear.net 39 points 2 years ago (1 children)

conservatism is the new punk

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

Michael Graves is that you?

[–] AlkaliMarxist@hexbear.net 38 points 2 years ago

Too much virtue signalling in video games discourse these days

Smh

[–] Magician@hexbear.net 37 points 2 years ago

Didn't like doing crime that threatened capital.

us-foreign-policy

What a fucking weenie. This jackass has a platform to talk about appreciating art and fiction, but can't even engage with an opening tutorial. Why do people idolize him?

Why do they think he's a rebel or punk rock?

This post was written by Martin Prince if Springfield existed in South Africa and the bullies failed to whoop his ass

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago

A manchild in its literal form. Now I know why I hate the way he speaks so much. Not just on twitter but in real life too. It’s reminiscent of a child at a dinner table trying to impress the adults by being “aware of big people problems”

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago (1 children)

my-hero LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

He had all the money in the world. But all he wanted was the one thing money couldn't buy.

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

Dude has an insane base of dipshit followers who gloom onto him and worship his every footstep. He also maybe possibly has, like, a baby-making ranch full of women he's conned into being his baby-mamas, a few of which sincerely adore him (at least, per TrueAnon).

He's even bought that. He's still not happy, though, cause his cravings constantly exceed his rate of consumption.

[–] Monk3brain3@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Everything he does is in some way pandering to a group of people. total conman (as in like total football lolk)

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

Yea but this should make the people he's usually pandering to think he's a boomer.

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Why the fuck would you play GRAND THEFT AUTO if you don't like crime? It's like "FELONY: the vidyagame"

[–] silent_water@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Elon is too busy going to Mars to read trivial things like titles. they're much too complex and require far too much mental capacity to possibly extend his limited remaining energy towards. very-intelligent

[–] CyborgMarx@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago

What a fuckin loser, like holy shit visible-disgust

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Cops are the only employees he has qualms about harming.

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Hardly. Dude's probably hacked a COVID-infused lung onto a thousand members of his security detail by now.

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Concerning.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

My most chill memories of GTA5 are of using that one subway station in hollywood as an endless bacon smoker. Only one entrance, narrow choke points, multiple fallback positions... that bulletproof glass elevator is such a good spot that the shooting usually only ended when I got bored.

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Isn't this Bozo a fan of Cyberpunk 2077? You do crimes in that game, both by in-universe standards and current ones

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago

Ah but you see in CP2077 you are a subcontractor for the cops, so (some) of that murder is actually legal!

[–] CDommunist@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago

It's about time right wingers had disk horse on shooting virtual cops

[–] Hohsia@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Exploiting people’s livelihood for profit is fine with me but shooting cops in video games is where I draw the line

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago (3 children)

$50 on the table, I'm betting Elon picked up the game, tried to do crimes, failed miserably, and decided Aktuly Doing Crime Not Cool.

[–] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago

considering his elden ring build, this is almost definitely the truth.

[–] anonochronomus@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

He was just trying to brag about playing a mobile game for children , so yeah likely.

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[–] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago

Elon the game is called Grand Theft Auto what did you think it was going to be about

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

What a giant fucking nerd God damn.

Elon shouldn't get the wall he should literally be swirlyed to death.

How does this not pierce the veil for his fan boys this is like 65+ diner patron target audience.

All the people who love how much of an epic troll he is have deffinitely been playing gta 6 since they were 10.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Dude should've been entombed in spitballs like a Pompeii victim by now

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[–] BurnedDonutHole@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 years ago

Tell me you're lying without telling me you're lying.

[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

Who is he trying to impress with this weird lie?

[–] poppy_apocalypse@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago

The elmo rehabilitation tour. The only gtas he didn't play were san Andreas and v because they were set in la, or maybe another reason

[–] CarbonScored@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

So he's never played a game in which you kill people? i.e. most of them

Or is the argument that cops are better than other people?

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

Wasn't he literally trying to brag about the graveyards full of bodies thanks to him like last week.

Somehow both of those things are equally embaressing.

[–] mushroom@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

this feels like a mis-read of american chud culture by the two non-americans in the screenshot. most chuds don't like cops in and of themselves; they like what they represent, and what they do: subjugate the people they consider their enemies, ie people of color, women, the poor, etc. most chuds born after 1965 who aren't trad caths or whatever don't seem to care about killing cops in games - or even in real life, really, as long as the people doing the killing are fellow chuds. look at how they talk about the ATF and FBI.

i'd bet that most chuds who can still derive enjoyment from things other than 40 minute youtube webcam vids made by pederasts like games like GTA because they can be the ones to kill the virtual POC, sex workers etc. Just go online and see how many posts there are about people killing the suffragette in RDR 2. sure, some of them are mad that the games are too woke or whatever, but killing cops really doesn't seem to play into that so much as them having characters that are nonwhite and women.

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[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

This is probably the most pathetic loser take anyone has ever had on GTA. This take makes "GTA makes the kids do crime!" sound cool.

[–] impiri@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago

pwease don't make me pway a game with cwime 🥺

[–] POKEMONGOTOTHEGULAG@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Wow Elon is such a good soul 🙏 Bless him

[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

Criminal doesn't feel right about comminting crimes in a video game. Not what i was expecting to see today

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