this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to !shitreactionariessay@lemmygrad.ml

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 72 points 2 years ago (1 children)

you know, sometimes i feel like a right illiterate rube on this website watching people go off on long threads about shit I have honestly no idea about

But man am I glad to not have whatever this guy has instead of a brain

[–] LeopardShepherd@hexbear.net 37 points 2 years ago

I do wish I had this much confidence to broadcast my stupidity to the world

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 64 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Posting on an electric mineral about how useless minerals are

[–] glingorfel@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago

amazingly even the vuvuzela but you have an iphone argument is projection

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 61 points 2 years ago

An example that the first step to understanding centrists is you have to assume the mindset of being really really fucking stupid.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 59 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Ugh lemme guess, he thinks wealth comes from “Innovation” or some similar fairy tale.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 47 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm certain he thinks that.

Imagine somebody replied to him with this link to a Wikipedia section and they gave him a ~200 word baby brain summary so he doesn't have to strain his baby noggin with big words and context and too much information.

1954 Guatemalan coup d'état

United Fruit Company lobbying

He couldn't understand. There's no way to get him to understand.

How can a fruit company be powerful? They just sell fruit!

He can't fathom that countries like the US historically and still routinely bully weaker countries and powerful entities allied with US interests benefit greatly. Sometimes it's fruit and other times it might even literally be "digging up minerals".

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 47 points 2 years ago (4 children)

actually sweaty bananas aren't a mineral so i'm right maybe-later-kiddo

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago

Back to the banana mines with you

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago

Drat. It's too late now but I all I need to do was mention two words "conflict minerals".

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[–] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Libs, 15 years ago - "Yeah, neo-colonialism is bad. But hey, what can you do? Vote with your wallet."

Libs today - "Neo-Colonialism is based actually."

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[–] CyborgMarx@hexbear.net 56 points 2 years ago

Liberals literally have no conception of the material world and its interconnections and frankly that's hilarious, guarantees they're gonna blow it up

To them the world is made out of vibes and secret race blood quanta

[–] Bobson_Dugnutt@hexbear.net 56 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I guess all those gold crucifixes in European churches just appeared out of thin air

Everything in the British Museum was bought and paid for in a totally consensual and mutually beneficial exchange

America became the richest country in human history because of the Protestant work ethic

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[–] Timberknave@hexbear.net 54 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 36 points 2 years ago

they hath signed their name upon the devils blockchain

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[–] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 49 points 2 years ago (1 children)

this man could read if he chose British liberal texts from 200 years ago that say "we have enriched ourselves by stealing all of the colonies stuff" at no point was this a secret

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 36 points 2 years ago

Macron: without Africa, there would be no France

Noah Bilitytoselfcrit: no, actually, I think France would do just fine since Africa's all the way over there anyway. It would cost more to boat rocks here than the rocks would be worth, I'm pretty sure.

[–] edge@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I want to know where he thinks the wealth of nations comes from and how it doesn’t involve extraction of minerals and other resources.

“Innovation”? A vast majority of innovations use metal in some form. Modern innovations are mostly digital, and computers use many metals.

A bigger army? That’s a lot of metal needed for those guns.

From their banking system? Money isn’t real, the only reason it works is because it’s backed with power. See above.

Trade? Trade of what, Noah, fucking aqua?

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 49 points 2 years ago (2 children)

His take actually helps me understand why libs keep screeching for decoupling with China as if it wouldn't crash the entire world economy. They don't think that things are made out of raw materials and labor.

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[–] What_Religion_R_They@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago

wealth comes from the service industry duh

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[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 44 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I have never seen this guy say anything that was not monumentally stupid and very easily disproven

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago

His take on how to bring peace to Gaza was amazing. I assume he said to himself "I'll figure out this Gaza thing. I don't know anything about it but what's to know! I'll google and then write a few thousand words." And he did. I only scanned it very quickly but his take was that after the war Gaza would be able to rebuild itself via tourism. I don't think he googled very hard.

---

Ninja edit

Shit. Neither archive.today nor achive.org have a full copy. That's a shame. I, myself, should have put it into archive.today when I had the chance. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain...

It's behind a paywall - Economic possibilities for Gaza - by Noah Smith

[–] flan@hexbear.net 41 points 2 years ago (3 children)

does this guy think we're paying a fair price for resources and labor?

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 42 points 2 years ago

Um akshully sweety a "fair" price is just what the Invisible Hand of the Free Market (Low Interest Rates Be Upon Him) sets as a price.

[–] Vingst@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

Paying the market rate for comprador bureacrats and politicians.

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[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 39 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Libs really do only have one functioning neuron

[–] Alisu@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Yea and they have to share it between all of them

[–] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

Except the market decides who gets the neuron.

[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

and it's a merit-based sharing system, not equal turns, but they need the neuron to decide who deserves the neuron

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[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 39 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago

I'm convinced that most libs just look at political cartoons and go "so true!" Without understanding the content. Their biggest fear is being perceived as anything but the adult in the room so they'll just pretend that they understand or that the topic is so complex nobody can understand.

Therefore, there's probably also a really big hidden market for a lib Ben Garrison that just spells shit out with labels.

[–] captcha@hexbear.net 39 points 2 years ago

Complete mystification of the economy. Wealth comes from trading a briefcase back and forth.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 39 points 2 years ago

My brain made a few quick thoughts here and my conclusion is that this is the sort of person who would say "ah, but have you considered that people = money?"

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 37 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Me scrolling Hexbear late at night: I should be more mindful about exposing myself to bad takes, its not good for my mental health.

Me seeing your title: Real shit???lt-dbyf-dubois

[–] moujikman@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago

Both minerals and the people immigrating are both economically advantageous to larger more powerful countries. The connotation difference is rooted in racism.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 34 points 2 years ago

this obtuse asshole should be beaten to death with a crowbar

[–] robinn_IV@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Do they think the creator of the cartoon genuinely thinks South/Central America and Africa are sunken into the ground? The digging is a metaphor for all extraction of resources/wealth and the person who replied LITERALLY EXPLAINS THIS IN THE FIRST COMMENT.

I do not think the wealth of nations, generally speaking, comes mainly from digging up minerals

And I do not think I can live any longer.

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm glad that I'm so high I won't remember seeing this when I wake up

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But your face might be red and your eyes sore.

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[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

He's quite the bad take machine. More..

Thats ok political science isn't for everyone

Political Science - Randy Newman

He must have thought that was a clever retort but he doesn't actually understand the sarcasm - he only thinks that he does. Newman wrote that song about people like him.

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[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Would be nice if this clown actually had no opinions on anything

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[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago

Oh, you silly goose, don't you know that water flows downhill? If this was based in reality all of Africa and South America would be flooded, because they're in the ocean and you can't just dig a hole into the ocean. I'll have you know there are actual mountains in South America and Africa. They stick up ABOVE sea level. So that's pretty much the opposite of what you are suggesting here. You tankies really need some STEM education.

[–] footfaults@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Does anyone have the lore around why this person is popular

[–] Tachanka@hexbear.net 34 points 2 years ago (1 children)

because he always has the most dogshit lib takes that are so mind bendingly reactionary they have to be reposted as cringe in the dunk tank. Every one of his tweets is a work of art in how wrong it manages to be.

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago

It's honestly pretty impressive how he manages to piss off every flavor of leftist without going into explicit Nazi 1488 shit.

[–] Magician@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Okay cool, now I want the artist to include Asia on the world map

japan-cool ukkk xi-lib-tears

[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago (9 children)

i'm gonna kill this dude and wear his face i stg

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[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Wish I could make a career out of having takes. Some of them would even be good!

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Smith charges $10 a month for this takes.

I really wonder who pays out of their own pocket to read clowns like Noah Smith, Matt Yglesias, whoever the third guy who is just like them who I can't remember right now, etc. I wish a major newspaper would interview people with subscriptions and not orgs or think tankers who pay without thinking.

Who are the subscribers?

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