this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2024
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chapotraphouse

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Like you should see me do karate chops. I'm super strong and it doens't seem hard depending on the hill.

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[–] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 43 points 2 years ago (2 children)

RIP to Icarus but I could fly even closer to the sun

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 34 points 2 years ago

Bro if you tied one of my friends to a trolley track and then five of my friends to another and told me to pull a lever which chooses between them I'd beat your ass bro because I will NEVER betray my friends.

[–] ComradeLove@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Akshully the Icarus story doesn't make sense. The atmosphere in fact gets colder the higher you go. Are we to believe that Icarus made it through the atmosphere to outer space, and then got close enough to the sun where it would be warm enough to melt the wax, AND THEN defy gravity and fall back to earth instead of being sucked into the sun?

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

the sun was a lot closer then

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You're talking a lot of shit for someone within ⚡ distance

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

talk crap get zapped

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I would simply flatten the hill. Sisyphus never learned to work smarter not harder

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

All you have to do is build ramps. It's like making a pyramid. Sisyphus is just pushing it straight up and that's stupid depending on the hill.

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

Sisyphus builds a gently sloping spiral ramp up the hill, and easily rolls the boulder just to have it roll back down again.

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

But pushing the boulder is the point - how else does one expect to get mad gainz?

[–] heartheartbreak@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The real tragedy of Sisyphus is that she's a top but her stone partner will never bottom

[–] Raebxeh@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Holy shit this is such a good joke

[–] goose@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

Hey Sisyphus maybe uhhhhhhhhh don’t stop rolling it before you even reach the top of the hill? Just thinking out loud here

[–] Big_Bob@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Broo, how the fuck is Pandora's Box even a problem? Just close the lid

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I swear to god if someone replaced every part of a ship and said it was the same ship as before I'd punch them SO many times I hate liers so much

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

I feel like I'm blessed by Ares because he's the god of war and probably knows hella karate.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

I absolutely guarantee a fuckload of ancient Greece used this argument.

[–] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Sisyphus is more about hanging out with Bouldy nowadays, who is a great listener. Realized that hill business was whack.

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I used to tell a joke about Orpheus and Eurydice, but looking back, it was not a great idea.

[–] muddi@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I imagine there must be something like a runner's high once you get used to pushing up the boulder and it gets easy peasy.

[–] Runcible@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"One must imagine Sisyphus happy"

[–] muddi@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

One must imagine Sisyphus high on life*

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

ITT: People not following the instructions in my very easy-to-comprehend exercise program.

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago

I would simply attack the trolley.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

Back in '82, I could throw a pisgkin a quarter mile. I bet I could throw a football over them mountains.

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

If I was Achilles' mother I would just have double dipped him in the river Styx. No part of him would be left untouched by the immortality granting waters on my watch, I can tell you that much.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Sisyphus rock stacking struggle session.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I'd slice the apple of Eris into 3 parts and have fucking great time.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If I was locked in a cave and you cast shadows on the wall to make me question if my perception reflects the fundamental nature of reality I'd beat your ass I hate being locked in a cave.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I would have simply sailed straight back to Ithica.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I swear on my mom dude if you put a cat in a box with a vial of poison and asked me whether it was alive or dead I'd punch everyone there. I love cats too much to do that shit to them.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

Same. I'm not gonna put a kitty in an eigentstate

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

I have just absolutely owned Discordianism and thank God.

[–] MaxOS@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

Sisyphus git gud

uh i missed it could you do it again

[–] Raebxeh@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

Bagholder mentality

[–] TheDialectic@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I would have to do to it a few times but after that my lats would be so strong I could just get a seccond Boulder to hold the first one in place

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'd just ger a bullet proof vest before giving Man the gift of fire

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

Yeah but then the rock just rolls down some other side of the hill.