this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] AntiOutsideAktion@hexbear.net 68 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I think he's going to pick Harris purely from the "we will change nothing" attitude

really going out on a limb here I know

[–] edge@hexbear.net 52 points 1 year ago

Some libs on Twitter legitimately think he'd lose if he changed his VP. Purely because he changed it, nothing to do with the actual person.

Of course they also don't listen when we tell them changing from Harris would only help his chances of winning. People are legitimately worried about Biden dying in office because of how old he is, so his VP is pretty damn important and no one likes Harris.

Anyway he should make Hillary his VP, obviously.

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

On the other hand, if it were to happen, he can champion another cynical diversity hire

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

Yup can't set the precedent of not doing something just because 80% of your voters oppose it.

Bidens campaign message is literally "fuck you, vote for me idiot"

[–] RION@hexbear.net 65 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When someone says something so kamalaphobic you gotta hit em with that Xanax stare 👁️👁️

👁️️👄👁️

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 51 points 1 year ago (3 children)

He's not surviving a second term ya damn dorks 🙄

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 42 points 1 year ago

Here's how Bernie can still win.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It would be funnier if he made it Hilldawg and then she runs again as an incumbent in 2028 and loses again so that when she dies she has to sit with Gerald Ford in hell's cafeteria.

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I've always said I was going to be so pissed if this is how we get our first female president. It would be way cooler if someone got in on their merits, instead of through the backdoor of the dying president.

Something about that cheapens the whole thing even more than it it already is. Which I didn't think was possible.

Trump being president should have opened so many peoples eyes to the fact that presidents are fucking meaningless.

[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It would be way cooler if someone got in on their merits,

No it won't it'll be ThatcherUSA because we live in fucking hellworld

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

Well, yeah. It's not.like anyone good is ever going to be president.

It's just "more female war criminals!"

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[–] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My mother saw her on CNN so much that she thought Haley was a Democrat.

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's hilarious how much of an about-face they've done on her just because she's running against Trump.

She was his UN mouthpiece during his term and they all hated her then, she was pleased about Trump moving the US embassy in Israel to Jerusalem, announced the US was pulling out of the UN Human Rights Council, and a few other things libs lost their shit about. Really shows you just how much of a role media plays in manipulating so many people; I'd be more surprised by this if we hadn't seen the same thing happen with Mitt Romney years ago.

Forget materialism, these people lack object permanence.

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[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago

It's hilarious this guy thinks abandoning all your principles to empower fascists to help yourself politically is a new idea for liberals.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

maybe-later-kiddo When the only opposition is fascism, then you must compromise with fascists. That's how the world works sweetie.

anakin-padme-2 Ok, well have you considered helping or not interfering with opposition from the left so you don't have to become fascists yourselves? Wouldn't you think that's pragmatic?

maybe-later-honey We're not communists you selfish child!

shrug-outta-hecks Well I guess there's no point in voting for you. I don't support fascists.

angery Stoopid purity ponies!

[–] Maoo@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wanna see khive lose it c'mon

[–] Runcible@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

there never was a khive it was just a bot network and like 5 dipshits that were genuine but didn't know

[–] Maoo@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Okay then I'll be satisfied just watching the one really weird Harris supporter I know irl have a breakdown

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[–] sovietknuckles@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It has been lathed, and it's too funny not to happen

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They just need to make it look like Harris' idea.

They could make harris the new parliamentarian

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

iirc at some point libs were daydreaming about Harris being made a supreme court justice

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

On a quiet night, when the moon is out, some say you can still hear their calls for that

[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 1 year ago

I didn't think they stopped calling for it

[–] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago

What the fuck? She literally just fell out of a coconut tree....

[–] Greenleaf@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Biden will move heaven and earth to try and attract all seven Haley voters, but will tell millions of people in his base that are angry about the genocide he is committing to F off.

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And I will take his advice and stay home and smoke a doobie

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

every doobie left unsmoked is a vote for Trump

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[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The president asks his favorite Secret Service guy to come into the Oval.

"Have a seat, Mickey."

"Sir?"

"Sit."

"I... Um... You want me to sit here?"

"Yeah. Right there across from me at the Resolute Desk."

"But I..."

"My, my - you have a very Irish face. When did your people come from the old country to the US?"

"Around 1900."

"Good, good. What are you doing still standing there. I'm telling you to sit, son."

He does as he is told.

"Good, good. So - I know you got contacts at the CIA. Deep contacts. Your dad reports directly to the director, right?"

"Yes, sir." He's feeling very uncomfortable sitting down in front of the president.

"You're going to take care of something for me. A serious problem. You will remove a serious stumbling block, Mikey."

Agent Murphy just blinks.

"You, me, and your father are going to be like a family of sorts. Utmost loyalty and infinite discretion." The president starts ranting to himself. "I need Kamala off the ticket. I need her off. Off... the... ticket." The president has a blank stare.

Agent Murphy is worried that the president is having another "episode".

After about ten seconds expression returns to the president's face. "What happened? What happened? How long was I out?... No. Don't tell me what happened. I remember. Utmost loyalty and infinite discretion." Without realizing it - the president is using his negotiation voice: "Here's the thing. Your father's gonna get you the heart attack gun and you're going to be my angel of salvation so I can put Nikki on the ticket."

[–] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"You're going to take care of something for me. A serious problem. You will remove a serious stumbling block, Mikey."

"What's that, sir?"

"Stairs."

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Agent Murphy had a bad case of the flu and had to miss work. This was the result...

I like how on the upper right - it seems there's a drop of water that got on the lens. But it's just a light in the distance.

[–] blobjim@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

It was popular on Twitter as...

Ska horns blaring

PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP

Tweet

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[–] DengistDonnieDarko@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

Brandon hits the griddy for Israel

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Can't wait for my president to look like the old man in the Korea hat at the nursing home with the huge perpetual shiner over his eye because he falls more frequently than a bruise can heal

Kind of like how Jimmy Carter always looks like he did three rounds in the ring with Mike Tyson

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

Lol. Lmao even.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Funniest outcome - they drop Harris from the ticket and add Haley, Trump beats them in the general election, both Trump and Biden die before January 2025, we get whatever clown Trump chose as vp for president.

A true victory for uncommitted if ever there were one.

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

That would destroy comedy because nothing would be funnier. Maybe the /r/politics meltdown...

[–] TheDialectic@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

She probably is to the left of kamala

[–] FriendBesto@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Likely that is what she wants... so do her donors. LOL

[–] IMF_DOOM@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

it would be funny ngl, im taking the side of the libs on this one bcs it would make for great slop

[–] JealousCactus@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

The libs are so desperate to find a "Good decent Republican" they fall for absolute charlatans.

[–] Zuberi@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Unrelated, how do I get unbanned from Chapo :'(?

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

? It’s been gone for years

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[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

reddit-logo nuked Chapo when they nuked The Donald. Only radical centrism and the "Don't say the quiet part out loud" crowd is allowed to be safe for all investors / advertisers.

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AAAAAHH!!! IT'S LITERALLY JUST TEAM SPORTS TO THEM!! AND THEY'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO SIGN THE STAR ROOKIE!!!!

[–] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Biden should pick trump for VP. The real unity ticket

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[–] YourMom@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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