WeirdyTrip

It's still in progress, but I did end up with with a nicely inoculated bag of rye grain! Put that whole bag into my garden bed this evening, now the waiting game to see if I get any fruiting bodies this summer C:

Heck yeah, much respect c: I am a little lazy and like the ease of just buying, but have thought about making my own someday down the road.

Hey now... houseplants are pleasant and inviting. This guy's more like a wet blanket.

"I JUST WANT TO FUCK MY SISTERRRRRRR"

That was the impression that show left me with

The blatant misogyny in that show always bothered me, never understood why people didn't seem to mind it

Squid Game.

Bring on the down votes, I don't care, that show was garbage and I was baffled at the HYPE around it.

There's a reason for that. Frank Darabont was the director who made season one great. After season one's strongly positive reception, AMC decided that they wanted to double the episodes, hack the budget, and then halfway through season 2 they let Darabont go and replaced him with some piss poor other director who couldn't hold a candle to Darabont. YMS does a great job explaining it and shitting mightily on AMC.

it was brushed off the first night when I kept saying let’s talk. That part hit me the most

This is the part of his behavior that concerns me as it pertains to your emotional wellbeing. It takes understanding and compassion from all partners in a relationship, and he is not extending that to you. It is those moments that I reflect on in my past relationships that I wish I had seen for what they were so much sooner. I did the same thing you are doing, focusing on the parts of my partner that were positive and using those to excuse the negative, which is what kept me locked in a difficult, dark place for years. Because real talk, even though I know now that the men I dated weren't right for me, it's not like they were 100% bad people. I still don't think that. They were damaged young people in their 20s that hadn't fully processed the trauma in their life and had, unbeknownst to even them, developed unhealthy behaviors and coping mechanisms that I was then stuck dealing with on the daily. And I thought, "If I just support them enough and be patient enough, they will pull through and our relationship will experience a bloom and depth that will make all the strife worth it." That never happened, and I don't think it ever would have happened. As long as I tolerated the dark times, they never had to push through their problems. You deserve someone who loves just as fiercely as you do, don't accept half measures.

I’m so drained. I’m tired.

I have 100% been where you are right now. I will acknowledge that I don't know your situation intimately and that it is your life and your call on whether or not you choose to move on. But I can tell you that when I was finally tired enough to break away, that was the beginning of a fresh new chapter for me ❤️

Take some time for yourself today. Make a nice cup of tea (or whatever is your preferred warm and cozy type of drink), listen to your favorite album (I take much solace in music, and if you need a recommend I am high-key obsessed with Pale Jay's album Low End Love Songs), and try to remind yourself of how wonderful you are 💖

I hear you, part of life is accepting what we can't control. If he needs to step back for his own comfort, you need to let him. Fwiw, and this is just my opinion, you are dodging a major bullet by losing him. Seeing your state of mind just reminds me how gray my past relationships were and provide even more perspective to how much happier and fulfilled I feel now, after having made the decision to choose myself (happily single for 2 years now). That's not to say that breaking up wasn't hard, it was agony. But I do feel reborn, and much stronger and more confident in myself.

You can do it too. You are good enough and you are strong enough 💖

I hear you, I also feel things strongly and am my own worst critic, but just remember that self-flagellation isn't necessary.

I feel like a bad person and that I broke someone I care about so much

1. You made a mistake, but humans make mistakes. Learn from it, but don't let it crush you
2. You DID NOT break him, I get the vibe that, like another person commented, that he's got a strange red-pilled style kind of ideology around women and that he's in a fucked up situation that he built for himself. That is not your fault, and even more importantly it is not your responsibility to help him fix it.

We are texting about our feelings and opinions right now

I can't tell you what to do, but I STRONGLY suggest cutting all ties to him. I see the spiral he has put you in and nomatter what good qualities you might see in him, if he is making you hurt like this right now, it won't get better. I tried to make excuses, or have more patience, or be more supportive, more flexible, all the bullshit for men in my past. You know what it did? They settled into a comfortable place of knowing that they could push me on something and I would back off, "because relationships are about compromise". FUCK THAT NOISE. Listen to your heart, and recognize that he is the one responsible for your anguish right now. And I really really hope that you choose yourself over him ❤️

I’m kind of glad he hurted me at the end when I wanted to talk but he wanted to do sexual stuff because I feel used, maybe part of me thinks I’ll move past it quicker because of this?

YES, please follow this train of thought and give it some serious consideration. You have spent the last 4 days worrying about him, but when you wanted to express your concerns, what did he do? He brushed you off and wanted sex. Girl, he is just another asshole. He doesn't care about you even a quarter as much as you seem to care about him.

If I were you, I would break things off with him and never look back. And if you are open to the idea, I would try to just be single for a while. Like, years. Get in touch with yourself, and find a way to love yourself first ❤️ ✨️