pleasestopasking

Probably depends a fair but on what else you eat with it. Like how drinking water doesn't help but milk does.

Calling a partner who cheats an abuser is quite the leap.

There are remorseless serial cheaters for sure, and that is abusive and cruel behavior. There are also people who cheat because they feel like their needs aren't being meet and haven't figured out how to communicate that. And when that happens, there's three options: figure your shit out, learn how to communicate, and rebuild trust; figure your shit out, learn to communicate, and accept if your partner isn't interested in staying with you; or don't take accountability. I don't think any of those make them "abusers," even the last one which is quite shitty. It makes them a flawed human and someone who shouldn't try to be with someone until they figure out how to be better.

Edit to add, I was pondering more and there is a 4th option. I was thinking "don't take accountability and get dumped." But there is also "don't take accountability and your partner stays with you," and I would agree that that is abusive.

Which I would argue matters less when it's so easy to move to a different "country" and still participate in everything with little meaningful difference.

Replying to this from my bed, 2.5 hours after I woke up.

Or they just don't care and think people will stay with them out of habit.

Set an alarm for an hour and a half before you wake up. Pop the Vyvanse then go back to sleep. Makes it so much easier to get out of bed once the meds start hitting.

This is why work from home is such a blessing. In an office I could never be able to fuck around as much as I do, but I was definitely less productive overall because I wouldn't do the hyperfocus periods because I was recently l resentful about being at the office.

You're lookin at it

I know you're a real one because of the chomchom in the background.

If the container is big enough, consider putting the whole bag in there. It keeps it protected from light (if it's a translucent container) and keeps it even more compact so there's less airspace around it.

There's a lot of merit in the phrase "the truth will set you free." You can tear down the dam and drain the sea of lies. But when I say the truth, I mean all of it. Your wife has a right to know the whole truth, down to the last detail. To her, your life has to be an open book. She needs to be able to ask you anything and know that you will be honest with her, even if it's something she'll be hurt by. In fact, it's ok to preface answers with something like, "I'm afraid my answer is going to be hurtful but if you really want to know I will tell you.

I'm not disagreeing with you, but this should start with asking your wife if she wants to know all the details, if there's any hard lines, if she wants specificities or an outline, or if she'd rather not know it reassess later.

Why did you cheat Because you were angry with your wife? Because you like the other woman?

These are far from the only two reasons. Some people cheat because they are unhappy with their lives generally, outside of a partner, and don't know why. Some people have impulse control issues. Substance abuse. These are not excuses, but explanations.

Couple's therapy is often recommended after infidelity. I think it's far more important for the person who cheated to start with individual therapy. If you don't change your behavior you can't rebuild trust.