this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
26 points (96.4% liked)

Transfem

5376 readers
44 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
ada@piefed.blahaj.zone
26
how are you referred to by others (e.g. "buddy", "friend", "ladies", "dear", etc.)? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
26 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I have a friend who lives on the West coast of the US who refers to me as "buddy" a lot, and I don't mention it, but it gives me the ick (she knew me pre-transition). I think she just uses it like a gender-neutral word for anyone (the way "dude" and "bro" ca be used sometimes), but I'm triggered, lol 😅

In public / with people who never knew me before transition, people will often refer to me and whoever I'm with (they're usually women) as "ladies" (ironically my sister-in-law hates how often she is called "ladies" when she's around me, lol).

On the phone or individually people often refer to me as "dear". In the South, I got a lot more "sweetie", "honey", and even "sweet girl" and "good girl".

What have your experiences been like (before, during, and after transition)?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] kersplomp@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Pre-transition: “bro”, “dawg”, “bruh”, “bruu”, “broseph”, “dude” from my friends, endearingly and ironically (I assume) since I’ve always been effeminate. From strangers mostly just “hey! you!” Some people said “brother” unironically and 🤮 unfriended instantly

Currently: when I’m alone I get “buddy” and “sir”, which is weird because basically nobody referred to me as sir pre-transition. But besides that, there’s a lot less direct references to my gender. When I’m with other girls it’s always “ladies” at least.

I hope to someday pass, sounds nice

[–] renegadespork@lemmy.jelliefrontier.net 1 points 1 day ago

Currently: when I’m alone I get “buddy” and “sir”, which is weird because basically nobody referred to me as sir pre-transition.

Yeah, welcome to getting older. I get sir'ed and m'amed about 50-50 now depending what I'm wearing. Before that, I frequently got "big guy" (I'm kinda short) 🤮