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Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
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how are you referred to by others (e.g. "buddy", "friend", "ladies", "dear", etc.)? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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I have a friend who lives on the West coast of the US who refers to me as "buddy" a lot, and I don't mention it, but it gives me the ick (she knew me pre-transition). I think she just uses it like a gender-neutral word for anyone (the way "dude" and "bro" ca be used sometimes), but I'm triggered, lol 😅

In public / with people who never knew me before transition, people will often refer to me and whoever I'm with (they're usually women) as "ladies" (ironically my sister-in-law hates how often she is called "ladies" when she's around me, lol).

On the phone or individually people often refer to me as "dear". In the South, I got a lot more "sweetie", "honey", and even "sweet girl" and "good girl".

What have your experiences been like (before, during, and after transition)?

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[–] VegOwOtenks@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Technically (the best kind of correct), the female equivalent for Jungs would be Mädels, but it's hard to get right.

I'd only use it for a group of girls I'm a part of, and have only heard it used that way. Imagine: "Ich treffe mich heute mit meinen Mädels". (eng.: "I'm going to meet up with my girls.").
I hope this translates well enough to convey my impression that if somebody else uses it, it's inappropriately close language for somebody they may not know that good.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

yeah, I think that comes across - "Jungs" also feels weirdly intimate / familiar, like "my bros" or something, or "my boys" ...

Thanks for introducing me to Mädels, it's really helpful to actually talk to someone familiar with the language - I always struggle in my adoption of German because of lack of social context and use. It has really declined over the last 5 years, I'm afraid, I have probably slipped from a B-1 to more like an A-2 level or less 😞

[–] VegOwOtenks@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

yeah, I think that comes across - “Jungs” also feels weirdly intimate / familiar, like “my bros” or something, or “my boys” …

Yes, I agree. I've actually only ever encountered it in family situations, like when somebody has multiple male kids, or in school.

Thanks for introducing me to Mädels, it’s really helpful to actually talk to someone familiar with the language

It's my pleasure, I'd happily offer my services as a native speaker. I fear that the same is happening to the French I learned until I finished high school.