CW: Dysphoria
Depression and gender dysphoria is such an shitty cycle. No energy to shave because I look like an ugly boy, can't stop looking like an ugly boy without shaving all the shit on my face.
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CW: Dysphoria
Depression and gender dysphoria is such an shitty cycle. No energy to shave because I look like an ugly boy, can't stop looking like an ugly boy without shaving all the shit on my face.
i have too much pride
when is shame month...
I shaved my chest and omg what used to be hated moobs are two cute little boobies and I am in love with them. Now just gotta figure out my back and buttcrack and i'll be dolphin smooth :)
Been eating so healthy and good and working out every day so they might say bye for a bit until the e kicks in but they are a sign of good things to come!
Cis people who browse this mega "for fun"
We need you help
transphobia
My mom look at my feet and said "you know you can't do wudu' with nail polish on?"... it was Merbromin that I had on foot after hitting a rock too hard. anyhow it was odd that her brain skipped straight from "Why is my MANLY MAN SON wearing WOMANLY nail polish" into "you can't do wudu' with that on".
Not doing great this week. Hopeful next week will be better. All the comments here at least make me feel not alone :) hope you are doing great!
I found space for another pronoun, but I'm not really sure I like any of the other options
My party got a table at the local non-corporate pride thing in our city, and I'm excited but also pretty worried. Last year one of the communist orgs got their table trashed by anarchists and the "anti-tankie" sentiment here can have real consequences. I hope me and my queer comrades bringing lots of water and vegan snacks appeases them.
i feel like girl rotting today, which is weird because i never had the urge or feeling of doing that before starting HRT. progress I guess?
being trans feels like i'm the child in a divine custody battle between Mars and Venus
negativity about being trans, fears of transphobia
I am just so, so scared of being trans. It can't be. I'm terrified. More scared then I've ever been before.
This is going to be so hard. People aren't going to understand. They'll hate me. They'll descriminate against me. They'll see me as some nasty pervert. With America getting more mask off by the day, am I going to even have care in the future? Why would they do that to me. Why are grown adults so awful.
dysphoria
I'm huge. I'm tall and fat. It'll be obvious to everyone who I really am. I feel like an imposter. A fake. A wolf in sheeps clothes. That's how people will see me too.
si
I'd rather kill myself then be someone I hate being. Oh god that's a really trans thought. Am I really trans hexbear. Please tell me this is a bad dream. I'm going to wake up and be cis. I'm going to be happy with who I am and not want to be a girl. The nightmare is going to end.
Having incredible health anxiety. I unfortunately contracted symptomatic genital hpv, and I can't like relax or anything. I am deathly afraid of spreading it all over my body (I know this is unlikely). I am constantly convincing myself that I am getting warts here or there, it's really driving me insane :(. Now I'm convincing myself I am having a mouth herpes outbreak because my lip in one part is very very slightly red. I wish my brain wasn't like this. I wish I could just relax -.-
shit i combusted in my magic flight launch box fuck
now i'm way higher than i planned to be because i had to ghost the smoke so it wouldn't stink up the whole stinkin' house and i'm reading hvac medical research papers about how odorant particles disperse based on room pressure. the taste of this pineapple hi-chew is making me feel like i've done dxm
anyway i was hiking the other day and came across these beetles i haven't seen before getting freaky on a reishi mushroom, which they also call hemlock varnish shelf around here. the dust on it is s p o r e s
looked up the beetles when i got home and get this: "pleasing fungus beetles." that's what they're called.
are you kidding me
who comes up with this stuff?
People always said that my nipples would hurt like shit, but for now it's a solid 1/10. I still sleep on my stomach, which I thought I would have to stop. I like touching my chest, cause it's tangible change and progress.
I seem to have contracted the trans mind virus 😔 you might need to get tested.
I bought a couple cute trans pride enamel pins to put in my hat. Also got a couple of demi/ace pride pins for my hubby as a surprise. I got my meds today as well.
Just asked two more of my male friends if they'd press The Button and they said yes lmao
Today I've been feeling... Different. That 1am near-crying thing... "yesterday" mustve done something
posting in the PP waiting room
I wish I could just jump forward 10 years and have already worked through all this hard stuff. But no I gotta slog through it and barely make any progress ever.
sad posting
Been away a while. Things are not going very well for me, sadly. Pride festivals were not what I had hoped they would be community-wise and my relationship is increasingly strained.
I'm not really able to see a happy future for myself at this point.
Hope everyone else is having a great pride month! You have so much to be proud of, being your authentic self
need to redistibute the stolen wealth of the global north like i need to redistribute this fat from my waist to my ass
I have been wondering about the emotional effects of HRT everyone has ben talking about, because it's been 2 months, and either I haven't noticed the changes, or they are too subtle to be perceived by me. I feel very much the same, and still also very much in control of my emotions. Except in extraordinary circumstances(lack of sleep, lack of food, etc). I did put in a lot of effort into my emotional control over the years, since it used to be quite bad, but I thought I would still feel something.
What concretly do people mean, when they talk about "emotional effects"?
I have noticed some physical changes though, so it is working in some regards.
need to make some more actual transition steps today. still so many options as to what to do and it's all so overwhelming. i think i'm going to try and get a therapist again. they've never really worked for me in the past but maybe one who specializes in dealing with trans people might help me get a coherent transition plan forward or something. or maybe not i just really need someone to talk to
TRANGONDER FACTS: trans women's hair is not naturally blue, actually. if you see a trans woman with blue hair, it's actually colored from all of the blue E pills she's been taking
When I was a (very cis) teen I was constantly daydreaming about being a streamer girl and I even had a username planned and everything. I grew out of my desire to be a streamer (thank god), but at least I'm doing better at the "girl" part of it than I ever thought I would.