this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024
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politics

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[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Why tf does he have so much lore?

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago

He's a Kennedy, those fucks are all twisted and weird

[–] healthkick@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A violent pet emu actually really makes me like the guy

[–] chickentendrils@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I don't think he could be worse than Biden or Trump, not that I'm voting for any of the three.

[–] D61@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Fuck... I really wanna see his pet emu going buck wild in the White House.

Who needs secret service body guards when you've got a fucking dinosaur.

[–] WorkingClassCorpse@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago

"President's pet emu hospitalizes secret service agent" is a headline I would fuckin' love to see

[–] Des@hexbear.net 21 points 11 months ago

he's got the bird vote locked

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 19 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Cheryl Hines is married to RFK jr? lol

[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

thought she was dating Ted β€œblackface minstrel” Danson
is rfkjr a step up, down, or sideways?

[–] krolden@lemmy.ml 8 points 11 months ago

I never liked her she always seems fake

[–] TBooneChickens@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

right?? RFK jr is married to Larry David's ex-wife 🀯

[–] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

RFK Jr. is John Uskglass confirmed.

Why does he not simply send his faerie servants to destroy his political rivals?

[–] Civility@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

The king is feeble and mad. In coffee houses and broadsheets his supporters grimly whisper and his enemies proclaim it with glee. He is lost in the maze of his own mind and there is no heir apparent.

The rebel duke is known the world over as a buffoon and a fraud. For his sins against men wealthier and more spiteful than him his favourite weapon, the arcane and pernicious proceedings of the Court has been turned against him and driven deep into his heart. The heart of his glamour, his wealth, has been broken. He is destitute and very very tired.

The common folk wait desperately for something, anything to change. They have little love for the king They have suffered through plague and hunger and fire and flood and storm and the ravages of rapacious lords and the howling and the bites of their vicious dogs and it will not be long now until they stop waiting

The land cries out for the return of the Raven King.

[–] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

This rules. My favorite jokes are ones that require you to be a very specific kind of nerd (of any kind, but not just in general) and also a super online communist, so this is just perfect.

[–] Chump@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago

Damnit I made that joke before looking at the comments 😀

[–] Yor@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago

like I comprehend the words I read, but I'm so confused

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

They're much better behaved tham his old emu, Toby, who would attack his wife

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

But Toby was jealous of Ms. Hines, and took to charging at her violently. She started carrying a shovel in self-defense whenever she stepped outside. Every morning, she wondered: β€œIs today going to be the day that I wake up and kill an emu in my backyard?”

[–] LeZero@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Is Cheryl Hines gonna have to choke a bird?..

[–] D61@hexbear.net 11 points 11 months ago

That's my Tiger King president! screm-cool

[–] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Well, even though Kennedy is surrounded by bird brains, in the tradition of Camelot they are the smartest of bird brains.

[–] Chump@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

Same, but in my case I’m writing in John Uskglass

[–] Grandpa_garbagio@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

I wish my wife Cheryl Hines and my emu toby would get along too

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The fact he was able to tame two ravens legitimately increases my respect for the guy.

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago

He was feeding them worms from his skull

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

join the raven king as family and together we will devour the 2 party system