this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 119 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Based on that photo I expected the woman lessons to be "fight, bleed, groan" too.

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 61 points 10 months ago

They already know how to do those things, right boys!?

I'm sorry

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

I was ready for the second half. I was disappoint.

[–] loomi@lemmy.world 60 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I fight bleed and groan monthly 🤷‍♀️

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 48 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

that's why you don't need to be taught those things. you need lessons on long hair and pink

[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

Women, smh. Do we have to explain everything‽

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

I fight, bleed and groan every time I go to the toilet.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 53 points 10 months ago

That phone # is for a Denny's in LA too.

"Hi, can you teach my daughter to long hair?"

"Sir, this is a Denny's."

[–] WeeSheep@lemmy.world 46 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Why do men need to learn to groan? Are they giving birth?

[–] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 39 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)
[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Never have I heard someone quite as well capture the appropriate sound to make when you've achieved "yeah sex is great but have ya..." for gushing over all the specs that make something you're showing off so awesome.

It works for cars, it works for stereo systems, it works for a new smoothie blender, it even works for the wildly unhealthy recipe you invented that's dripping the most decadent yet delicious shit you could cram into it before serving it to your friends like you make Gordon Ramsey look like a Killer Cook.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Maybe, but have you ever heard anyone else do it? Would YOU do it? If you heard a friend excitedly Tim Allen grunt, would you ever really look at them the same?

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

Yes yes and yes.

It's a fuckin' good grunt!

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago

Sounds like something someone who doesn’t know how to PINK would ask…

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 40 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I'm a man, and I'd like to learn how to pink.

[–] meleethecat@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

I blue myself!

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Blue used to be for girls as it was seen as more “dainty,” while pink used to be associated with boys as it was seen as the stronger color. It didn't change until the 1950s when some big advertising campaigns pushed pink as a feminine color exclusively for girls.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Red was the manly color, it was seen as regal. So light red (pink) was the color of the boys. Blue was the color of the virgin Mary and light blue used for femal children.

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[–] PixellatedDave@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah pink was man's colour because it is the colour of just cooked steak.

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[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

You are in luck. Pink was a verb before it was a color.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago

It's super easy, you just use pinking shears!

[–] ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 10 months ago

Take off your skin.

[–] pelletbucket@lemm.ee 38 points 10 months ago (3 children)

feels like something the boys from Always Sunny posted

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

"It's a bicep!"

[–] herrvogel@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

He teaches to groan. NOTHING SEXUAL.

[–] sudoroot@lemmy.zip 5 points 10 months ago

Needs more veins

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 30 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Man I should offer lessons on adulting. Lesson 1, nobody is doing it well, everyone is faking. Lesson 2, we're all jealous that you're still a child, milk that shit. Lesson 3, stop listening to old man complain, go have fun.

I think that's worth a hundred dollars right?

[–] Venator@lemmy.nz 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I think that's called a "life coach".

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[–] Freefall@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago

Jokes on us, they are just scamming MAGAs for 1000s a session

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 18 points 10 months ago (2 children)

This seems like a trap of some sort and people in general shouldn't be left alone with either of them individually or at the same time.

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Yeah, If I had kids, I would keep them as far away as possible from these people.

I'm no doctor, but that man is absolutely experiencing some kind of steroid-induced mania.

Otherwise, if it's not real, it's an excellent shitpost.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Someone reported that the number is for an L.A.'s Denny's. As if the "pink" wasn't a flag that it was a joke.

[–] aniki@lemmings.world 17 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Can that dude BE on any more steroids?

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

Yes, yes, there's always room for max growth. If he really juices it up and eats a couple cows per day, he can get to that next level. Beefcaaaaaake!

[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 14 points 10 months ago

I for one support him on his gender affirming medical procedures.

[–] Amir@lemmy.ml 2 points 10 months ago

Not without his heart exploding

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

As long as they don't offer to teach poster design...

[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Whats funny to me is people who want for their kids something they see inadequate in themselves. Like obviously as a man you can't teach your kids to be a man then you must not know how.......

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I kinda feel like that's the entirety of good parenting. Some things have higher or lower priorities, but ideally, I want my children to be more competent than me in everything I know how to do and more.

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[–] halvar@lemm.ee 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)
[–] crusa187@lemmy.ml 5 points 10 months ago (3 children)
[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 8 points 10 months ago

Sounds like you could use some lessons

[–] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Lmao they don’t know how to pink…

[–] halvar@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago
[–] Rayspekt@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago
[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

I'd like to know what happens if someone signs onto both lessons.

I have a feeling they wouldn't appreciate it.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Offer expires... now.

[–] kratoz29@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

Is this Jhony Lawrence pamphlet?

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