
Microblog Memes
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
- Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.
Related communities:
Some body once told me the world was gonna roll me
Me IRL
The Shovel? That just sounds like bullying bait, but I have seen a kid named Megatron, and that is indeed a badass name.
But Meg is relentlessly bullied by Peter. And he's the one who gave her the name!

Cohen: I’m wondering what psychological effects a name can have.
Zappa: Well, first of all, I knew that they were going to be unique anyway because of certain other attributes, so why not have a name that goes with it. They all like their names and the kids at school do too. They don’t make fun of them; in fact, most of them are jealous of their names. You know, it always amazes me when someone who is in my age group, or even younger, asks me a question like why did you name your children that. It’s a reactionary kind of question. Why the f*ck not name your kids something like that? They’re having a good time. Besides that, if they ever wanted to change their names they can do it. It only costs about $15.
Cohen: You can’t tell from the name Moon Unit whether it’s a boy or a girl. Had Moon Unit been a boy, would you have named him the same thing?
Zappa: No, I would have named him Motor Head.
Everybody, please welcome my son, Hellofresh Henson Curiositystream Manscaped Groundnews Worldoftanks Nordvpn Smith. Please like and subscribe.
you forgot RAIDSHADOWLEGENDS
Promised my wife I'd save that for our firstborn daughter
It is more of a girl's name, traditionally.
Is Please like and subscribe your other child?
I used to make a joke with friends back in highschool that if I ever had a kid I'd name them something like Bu62bil8 and just say it's pronounced "David" to mess with teachers.
Elon Musk must have heard me and thought I was being serious...
Don't lie, you were once at a maturity level that you would have done that. Although unlike you, Elon is still at that level of maturity.
Do you think Elon Musk ever refuses to put on his shoes, because he certainly gives that impression.
If I ever have son, I'm gonna name him... Bill or George, anything but Sue!
I still hate that awful name!
In France during the Revolution we tried to have nice names not tied to saints. We then had a few names like Liberté (Freedom) or "Défenseur des droits" (Defender of the rights).
Also French speaking African people have some cool names like Bijou (Jewel).
Assigned non-binary at birth
Assigned Tool At Birth, ATAB
"Shit your trouser holes, Shovel is here!"
Street lamp Le moose enters the chat. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlao6/so_my_wife_just_agreed_to_name_our_unborn_son/c2d21qe/
Musk named his a passcode.
Has anyone tried getting into his Wi-Fi with that?
Just like T.S. Eliot!
Where's track_shovel in this thread?
One of the most badass album titles of all time: The Shovel vs The Howling Bones

Apparently this was produced by ray wylie Hubbard - I am now interested 🤔
^update: this kinda slaps^
I know someone who goes by Kil
"little fatso yummy toes" more likely
Yeah, we're nicknaming that kid "The Hov".
If I had a son, I'd name him Bort. There's a reason why I'm not allowed to have children...
Speaking of generic names...
Seven...
I'm all for names with some weight on them, but give the kid a normal name and just tell people, "We call him Kicker." Let the kid make up the story for why. Everywhere has a little line for 'prefers to go by' now, and you can avoid the problems (and don't try to say there aren't any) associated with names that don't fit the average idea of normal.
We had a discussion of employee email address formatting and how to handle collisions in a workplace that hires many, many immigrants. One idea that came to my mind (but wasn't voiced for obvious scope/feasibility concerns) is to do firstname+nickname+lastname so John.Brickman.Smith@contoso.com displayed as John "Brickman" Smith then during the onboarding process users can select from a list of approved and not-yet-assigned nicknames (I imagine a webpage with a search bar and a "regenerate" button then it shows a list of 10 or 20 nicknames they can select from) and pick something that they like and thinks fits them. It would add some whimsy and worker empowerment but also still prevents interesting situations like someone selecting an inappropriate nickname
Fast forward 20ish years to a post in nominativedeterminism about someone named The Shovel being caught burying the bodies of his parents that he murdered
Hopefully he gets reduced time for the mitigating circumstances
I would like to present to you a summary of Freakonomics Chapter 6 - how much does your name matter?
Shovels are actually very handy. I can think of 2 book series where a shovel is a vital tool. The best example is a ww2 fiction with magic where a company of troops were strapped with the fasted flying jet engine a body could handle and dominated the battlefield, well they killed so many soldiers they ran out of bullets. So instead they started flying around in the air going 60-100 mph smacking people in the head with their shovels. They massacred people. Oh it was so terriblely good.
Pretty sure that kid is either going to grow up to be a serial killer or obese. Normative determinism is a thing.
I knew a kid Montana, who everyone used to call Montarrrrrrrrrrna because she was a big lass.
