We could pay down the national debt in about 4 hours.
this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2025
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A lot of men will need ~~bank~~ spank loans.
New business opportunity!
New fintech startup, Wankr, provides loans at 2400% to pay your wank-fines.
....Now to get $300 million in Series-A funding.
A few nation’s debts
Which is great until you remember that the religious right is okay with that idea
It'd legitimately be hilarious if they introduced it on the House floor and the general response was, "Oh, yeah, this is perfect!" and it somehow passed.
Hilarious, but awful. This has cursed monkey paw wish written all over it.
I don't live in the USA, so I would be very amused to see these things pass.
It's already happened. Not this exact bill, but a "inception begins at ejaculation" bill. Forget which idiot Congressman proposed it.
I believe they actually did it before these people started to attempt to use it to troll people.
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Yah, the at times almost universal male genital mutilation in the US goes back to religious nutjobs like Kellog & co to stop boys from masturbating. It's also what motivated Kellog, in his quest for the blandest food, to invent cornflakes, because, apparently, spicy foods make you naughty. Good Glob, I wish I was kidding.
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These performative bills are so dumb; you can't shame the shameless. Republicans are open hypocrites. You think they care about this?
Push laws for actual protections against people being hurt
Absolutely will not happen in Ohio, the only way the statehouse could do anything beneficial for it's citizens would be to have a massive gas leak
They are too busy hurting people.
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I'll never financially recover from this.
I'm already several hundred thousand in debt.
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
the fake christians of America prove why freedom of religion also means freedom from religion.
the term "moneyshot" gets a whole new meaning
Would be nice if we had an actual opposition party to, you know, put in bills to oppose the massive abuse of power that's been going on for a while now. Instead we get frumpy faces, folded arms, an occasional angry letter, moral victories, and of course the "that'll show 'em" bills.
That just makes having a wank more thrilling, getting close knowing you're about to reach a 100 grand fine that day.
America, edging its way to a theocracy.
"Your Honor, I was trying to get the Kleenex pregnant."
This week Im going to petition the Michigan government to build a yuge wall between us and Ohio. I don't want any more chronic masterbaters roaming our streets, they belong in Cleveland.
if they pass this law, people would go out jerking off everywhere in protest
I mean, what about people with vasectomy? Do we just get the death sentence?
There would be a national day of gooning.
I can't wait for it to pass
Well, there goes my retirement.
Gun owning Americans, not being allowed to jerk off.
That's probably fine...
Right?...
The poor agents that will have to watch the recordings of proof of discharge in order to charge these men.
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