this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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Shitty Food Porn

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I think she's a keeper

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 95 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Damn... Wtf did you do to piss her off that she boiled the bacon while boiling the eggs?

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 39 points 2 months ago (11 children)

Energy efficiency. It's no crime to care about global warming 🧐

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 47 points 2 months ago

The methane the pig and chicken made are worse than the gas it would take to cook them.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The amount of energy you (as a consumer) use is nominal in comparison to big corporations; especially the big corporate farms. So you might as well heat up a second pan to make the bacon, because you’re suffering unnecessarily for no gains.

But make no mistake, what I said above is in no way a negative reflection on you or your future wife.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (6 children)

You’re as bad as the chauffeur, who – directly after my wedding ceremony – said β€œYou still have 24 hours to change your mind”. πŸ™„

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[–] equivocal@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago

Are we just ignoring the significant amount of energy it would take to get a pot of water up to a boil?

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

In that case I agree, def. a keeper.

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[–] ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 months ago

I'd assume if you care about global warming you'd also avoid eating meat. Maybe more important for beef than bacon though. Anyway, I interrupted your chewing, please continue!

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 10 points 2 months ago

Bacon abuse is a crime.

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[–] krgn@lemmy.sdf.org 74 points 2 months ago

Are you certain she likes you?

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 51 points 2 months ago

I hope you call your girlfriend BB from now on. Not because it is a bastardization of "Baby" but because it is short for boiled bacon.

[–] dicksteele@lemm.ee 51 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

A pig died so that she could boil a part of it into shoe leather. Then you had to eat it. The things we do for sex…

[–] goldemboy@sh.itjust.works 50 points 2 months ago

Yeah πŸ™ƒ Keep'er far away from the kitchen.

[–] shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My brain is now forever tainted with the idea that you can, and some people do, boil bacon.

[–] nik282000@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 months ago (5 children)

If you put a little water in the pan with cold bacon it will steam for a bit and help render out the fat before it then deep-fries in that fat. To much water and you get whatever this is.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Y'all've seriously never tried grilling your bacon in the oven? The fat just melts off and leaves your bacon perfect. If you like it crispy, just leave it in for a bit longer.

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[–] Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 months ago

Not even. You can totally submerge the bacon in a pan full of water. As you say, the fat renders out and you then fry it in that fat when the water all boils off.

This is literally just boiling it and taking it out of the water like it's fucking spaghetti or something.

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[–] knuckleproof@lemm.ee 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Frying both the egg and bacon would probably use much less energy and be 100 times more tasty than whatever this is.. If I have to boil bacon, I might as well not eat it at all.. πŸ˜…

[–] Sturgist@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 months ago

If I have to boil bacon, I might as well not eat it at all.. πŸ˜…

This gave me a sudden flash of Uncle Roger. If you boil bacon, bacon is fuckt up. Aya!

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 37 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 23 points 2 months ago

Can't be, no beans.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fuck off. No English plate has seen bacon and eggs that grim.

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 9 points 2 months ago

Ooooh the breakfast horrors at my hotel in Paignton.

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[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What crime did she commit against the Bacon?

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm washing the pot now. It was boiled in the same pot water as the eggs. Saves electricity

[–] jodanlime@midwest.social 28 points 2 months ago

I just fry my eggs in the bacon grease, same energy, probably not as healthy but it doesn't look like a crime scene either.

[–] Rambomst@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

You're saving 2c and wasting bacon.... If you want to boil everything maybe pick foods that aren't depressing when boiled.

[–] moog@lemm.ee 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 28 points 2 months ago

I swear I saw the bacon move.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Did she boil the fucking bacon? Is that how it came out that way? I don't know it's weird. I mean hard-boiled eggs just do that sometimes but what the fuck. It's not hard to throw it in a frying pan. My fiance bakes it which is... Fine...

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yes, all cooked in the same pot at the same time as the eggs :>

[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Call ICE on her. If she’s white, tell them she’s irish. They don’t count as white again, so she’ll get sent to Venezuela where she might learn something about cooking. It might be cooking meth, but that’s still preferable to whatever that atrocity in the picture is.

[–] lost_faith@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hmm, good old weaponized incompetence

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 months ago

Lmao that's so real, I think she boiled the bacon out of spite.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 months ago

"May your bacon always be boiled." is certainly a worthwhile curse.

[–] Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It looks more pink than red to me.

[–] boredtortoise@lemm.ee 12 points 2 months ago

That's grey/gray

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

I'd be grateful to have anyone in my life that would think to cook for me. I'd eat this without complaint and thank them.

Then, I'd offer to teach them to cook. We aren't born knowing how, it's a learned skill.

[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 13 points 2 months ago

We shall cook these items in the light of the sun. -Human girlfriend

[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Well, she's definitely not a cooker.

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This was not an act of love, but rather the exact opposite

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

"Hey, why don't I cook next time?"

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