this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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top 33 comments
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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 27 points 4 days ago (2 children)

dibs on black sheep niece you never see or talk about except in hushed tones to whisper that she might be worshiping satan (hint, i am not worshiping satan, i am cooking pasta)

But WE are worshipping Satan.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Ill fight you for that role. Ill fight you, and ruin thanksgiving.

And post links to my deviantart page on facebook events for winter solstice.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's more fun for me, a big hairy middle aged balding guy, to be the teenage niece though

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Shit, you're right. But i was thrown out for being queer as a teen, so never really got to be the teen niece. I've got the whole tragic fucked up thing going, and my dumpster fire burns with the heat of a million dying stars.

So if we're going rule of funny, it's you. Rule of drama, it's me.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

this is true. we can have two nieces. i say we don't tell anyone and wear the same clothes, and never be in the same room at the same time.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Hey niece, I like your new look. Glad to see you rocking the big, hairy middle age guy look. Really digging then balding. What made you decide this new look?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Fiddles with their glasses

Myspace? Is that some sort of hangout for the youth of today?

idunno are you cool with tom?

[–] socsa@piefed.social 3 points 3 days ago

What if we kiss in the shallow end of the gene pool 😰👉👈

[–] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Last sentence is a red flag

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Can we negotiate? How does 70% sound?

The Old Ones will brook no compromise with these infantile new-age deities.

“God” refers to the Satanic Demon summoned by a blood ritual including animal sacrifice. The family worships him.

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago

Niko, cousin! Let's go bowling!

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I'm sorry, applications for uncles closed last week. You may apply for sister next week.

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Bad offer you have no honor

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

How dare you accuse me of lack of honor

Only one way to settle this....

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY PUNCHLINE.

NOW WHO HAS NO HONOR

[–] Fabian@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 days ago

What about great-uncle?

[–] YourMomsTrashman@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Can I be house cat. meow mreow meow mrrrp

[–] Wilco@lemm.ee 2 points 3 days ago

I call dibs on being "Cousin Johnny" I will only attend baptisms, weddings, funerals, and maybe the social events afterwards.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean, if you believe in the Bible, everyone on the planet is related. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Believe it biach, were all cousins, on our mamas side

[–] bacon_pdp@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I already dibbed on grandma all night long

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 4 days ago

Can I be that guy from down the street that seems cool but no one talks to him or knows his name?

[–] SVcross@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Can I be the cousin that is never present, unless there's an emergency?

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

But cult so kissing cousins? Right?

That was the case pre cult too