We Paid Some Etsy Witches to Curse Charlie Kirk : witchesvspatriarchy

[–] ToiletFlushShowerScream@lemmy.world 70 points 3 months ago

I’m sorry. I’m sorry Etsy witches that I ever doubted your abilities.

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 69 points 3 months ago (1 children)

ngl kinda tempted to hire some Etsy witches

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You can try some Fiverr witches if you feel like taking a gamble. There was a scandal or two because of that knockoff mugwort they like to use, but in this economy I can't really blame them for pinching pennies.

[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Even the Fiverr ones can be beat in price these days. I've got a local LLM running on my computer, I could set it chanting curses 24/7 for just a modest cost in electricity.

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I mean, I can make a command prompt loop "may my enemies always have itchy bums" until I stop the command, but I don't know if that carries the same power.

[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 2 points 3 months ago

Quantity over quality.

[–] Davel23@fedia.io 38 points 3 months ago

I'm about to spend a ton of money on Etsy.

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 19 points 3 months ago

Imagine being that witch right now and feeling like you were jus thanked a Death Note

[–] grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Salem Witch Trials repeat was not on my 2025 bingo card

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

nobody has been falsely accused of witchcraft

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 months ago

Witches vs patriarchy has never been more literal.

[+] RegularJoe@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (5 children)

[deleted]

[–] danielquinn@lemmy.ca 27 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I can appreciate the sentiment, but do you honestly believe that Trump & friends need an excuse? They've fabricated every justification they've wanted in the past, so I don't see how this makes him more or less likely to do Something Else Evil.

If anything, I would think it would give them pause. A brazen political assassination like this might suggest that their opposition might do more than march peacefully in the streets while he dismantles the country.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

so I don’t see how this makes him more or less likely to do Something Else Evil.

you're right, but it's a matter of how much cooperation he gets and the cultural tone around him - Bush was able to invade Iraq because of 9/11, sometimes political violence really does create a cultural backlash and writes a blank check for retaliation

A brazen political assassination like this might suggest that their opposition might do more than march peacefully in the streets while he dismantles the country.

maybe, but this is exactly the kind of conflict he craves - one fought with guns and blood, it is the preference of authoritarians in power and who desperately wishes to wield the military against his political enemies

The kind of violence that will give pause won't be an assassination that delivers a perfect rhetorical moment to justify the political violence he wants to normalize and bring about.

[–] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I could wish for all three to die.

[–] Auth@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

I'm no longer wishing. I'm giving $5 to the Esty Witch and im expecting.

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 months ago

Dw bro if Trump goes down there'll probably be enough guillotines on the streets for everyone that you dislike.

[–] pfwood178@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But Utah votes red

[–] dermanus@lemmy.ca 15 points 3 months ago

Is this how witches do "thoughts and prayers"?

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sooooo, where can we find these witches? They got their work cut out for them

[–] nocturne@slrpnk.net 9 points 3 months ago

Etsy apparently

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

And there I was, in the year of our Lord 2025, staring at my computer, chatting with a witch on Etsy about the state of the world, hoping that somewhere between the cosmos and the internet, justice would be served.

And Lo, . . .

[–] CannonFodder@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Thought I was in a captcha black hole for a minute there, but eventually I got through.

And holy shit, is that considered murder? And if so, is it the witch, or the person buying the curse who's the murderer?

[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 8 points 3 months ago

During the first Trump administration I made a game of trying to come up with responses to events that were too stupid even for Trump to make, and I kept losing because he would find ways to top me. I gave it up for the second Trump administration because there's no way I'd keep up.

But I'll come out of retirement for this one: president-ordered witch-burnings. Let's see how he manages to top that one.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 4 points 3 months ago

Both

ETA: we don't know how the karma will balance.

[–] chocosoldier@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 months ago

magic does not legally exist in the usa. yet.

[–] DimlyLitFlutteringMoth@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Adding that note about not condeming the violence is pathetic. They could have left it as is perfectly fine but there goes Jezebel showing the side they are happy to comply with.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

I want to believe that's for legal purposes, but I've been let down before.

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca -4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

The side of basic humanity?? How could they.

Has everyone already been radicalized??? You can't even say, "we joke but we didn't want him to die, this is a terrible thing," without being branded as some kind of political turncoat?? What the fuck, people.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 months ago

Clutching your pearls after a fascist gets shot isn't basic humanity. It's being intimidated. Honestly only terrible people think it's terrible that Charlie Kirk got shot.

Witches VS Patriarchy