Ask Lemmy

Since you asked, "Touch grass" bothers me.

Any turn of phrase which is stated incorrectly. Eg.

• case and point
• doggie dog world
• at your beckon call
• they're on tender hooks
• should tie you over
• it's a mute point

You "hold the fort". It's a military position.

Only a fort molester would "hold down" the fort.

I get unreasonably enraged at "am I the only one who". It's so arrogant and dismisses all the people who have been expressing the same opinion. Yes, you're so special and unique, you must be the first person to bring it up.

I've also had it with "literally". There is no need to use that word unless you are saying something that might be interpreted as figurative and you are clarifying that you mean it literally. "We literally live on the same street". Is there a figurative meaning to that? Why do you need to specify you mean it literally?

"Turn of phrase."

I much prefer the phrase "parlence of our day."

"I have nothing to hide" -Man wearing pants

"Look, all I'm saying is..."

Yeah I get it. You're not going to acknowledge what I just finished saying, you're not going to respond to the facts that contradict you, and you're just going to reiterate your oversimplified and shitty opinion, hoping to slip away from this argument that you're losing.

"Let that sink in..."

All I think about is what does the sink want, and why is it outside? Any point they were trying to make is now a joke to me. Better to say "think about that for a minute."

"Let's agree to disagree"

This solves nothing, it just equates to a polite way of saying I'm done talking to you.

Oh god; where to start?

• 'literally'. It's best when using the Essex pronunciation of 'litchally' for maximum cringey delivery.
• 'the ask'. Because 'request' or 'question' is too hard to say around the pablum.
• 'the spend'. Off the car lot, it sounds super-douchey.
• 'action this'. Why decide on a verb like 'do' or 'complete' or 'revisit' or 'prioritize'?
• 'begs the question'. Chances are, it really doesn't. And using that wrongly makes you sound like Mike Tyson saying 'utilize'

And now there's one more:

• 'utilize'; or, really, anyone using stilted 'formal' phrasing instead of plain English. You don't sound posh, but you do sound like you're three kids in a trenchcoat trying to fake being an adult so you don't get booted from the R-rated movie.

I dont let my emotions control me like that, but I know what you mean. :)

"Have your cake and eat it too"

Motherfucker, you have it backwards because you're too smoothbrained to understand what a fucking paradox is.

The original, correct version is "to eat your cake and have too".

The idea is that you want to eat a cake, but still have the cake afterwards. This is a paradox because you can't be in posession of a particular cake after you already ate the damn thing.

"no offense" then proceeds to offend said person, or people using the word "YALL" how did it become popular when 15-20years ago and was considered unintelligent. Also people saying "entitled to thier own opinions" but end up saying thier own opinions matter more.

Every time I hear someone say ‘eh’ in a questioning tone or to mean ‘um actually’ I lose my shit. Or even just to play something down.

Like I literally come to hate the person instantly. Its a very strong feeling on a very small sound.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eh

Eh (/ˈeɪ/ or /ˈɛ/)[1] is a spoken interjection used in many varieties of English. The oldest Oxford English Dictionary defines eh as an "interjectional interrogative particle often inviting assent to the sentiment expressed."[2] Today, while eh has many different uses, it is most popularly used in a manner similar in meaning to "Excuse me?", "Please repeat that", "Huh?", or to otherwise mark a question. It is also commonly used as an alternative to the question tag "right?", as a method for inciting a reply, as in "Don't you think?", "You agree with me, right?", as in, "It's nice here, eh?" (instead of "It's nice here, right?"). In the Americas, it is most commonly associated with Canada and Canadian English, though it is also common in England, Scotland, and New Zealand.

"We don't take kindly to British English around these parts."

"Bro" or any variation thereof that assumes familiarity where none exists.

The artifice offends.

I've seen/heard a few Americans (old and young) saying something like "it has been a minute" to indicate "it has been a long time". What the hell is that? How did that start? Please someone enlighten me

"to make a long story short" - especially when used multiple times in one story and/or as a mindless audiospace filler to hold control of the conversation while assembling more thoughts/words... without knowing both the long and short version it literally adds nothing to the communication, it literally makes the story longer every time you use it (wasting my time), it's probably the longest socially acceptable way to say that (one could just say: "in short"), and it's got just enough word-scramble verbal complexity to occupy the higher order English parsing logic.