this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 2 points 11 hours ago

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear says to the rabbit "do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur"

"No, that's never been an issue" says the rabbit

"Good" says the bear and picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with it.

[–] x4740N@lemmy.world 6 points 16 hours ago

Opossum should've castrated him and remove him from the gene pool

[–] nathan@piefed.alphapuggle.dev 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I thought this was a free country?

[–] Bonus@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I guess the only reason the headline doesn't specify is that it is a Florida local news site

[–] Bonus@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago

Yeah, and it took way too long to figure that out on my part.

[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why is this site pretending this is a new story? It happened in 2023 .

[–] rhythmisaprancer@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

For whatever reason the source article doesn't convey this. Although having just typed my thoughts, I realize you by "this site" you probably mean the source here. Maybe someone local knows more about that "news" source?

[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah, in retrospect, I guess I wasn't very clear there, was I.

[–] rhythmisaprancer@piefed.social 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I think you were clear enough, I am just used to folks not reading and the reference you made meaning "here" but in this case I was not reading 🫣

[–] abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 16 hours ago

Ah, my enemy.

[–] Nusm@peachpie.theatl.social 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's Florida, isn't it? I don't even have to open the link to know that this is in Florida.

Didn’t want to read the article. Wanted to see what state it was.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The crime? Exposing his anus in public. They didn't even charge him for littering? Is public defecation not a crime there?

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 points 16 hours ago

Florida is a literal swamp shit hole, so no.

Assuming this is Florida, it's not like he read a book or something, he merely pooped on a dead animal. They had to charge with something.

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

All of you shaming and poking fun at this guy... Like we haven't all been there before.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 points 16 hours ago

Not possums. We all did squirrels in college. Sure, a few raccoons...

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 4 points 1 day ago

Exactly, let he who has a clean possum throw the first... well.

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

You really can do anything with your life.

[–] tonytins@pawb.social 3 points 1 day ago
[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Are they sure the opossum was dead? I've literally seen one play dead for over a week on the side of the road before..

With that said, I have never felt the urge to defecate on roadkill...

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 16 hours ago

Because you aren't Secretary of Health.

[–] Illegalmexicant@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You pee on an ant bed and 6 months later you are defecating on road kill

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] axexrx@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

If the possum turns out to be live, it may become a gateway bidet.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

You're right, let me go mark the calendar..

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

This is the most efficient way of testing whether or not it's a ruse. Everyone in Florida knows this.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 2 points 1 day ago
[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 2 points 1 day ago

Opossum is irrelevant here, I think.