this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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This reads like a joke question, I know, but I actually mean it.

Are you supposed to answer this sort of suggestive question with honesty? Or is this generally meant to be answered in coy and or affirmation? Because I don't want to ruin the mood but I also don't want to unwittingly spoil her expectations. (FYI, I'm average sized.)

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[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 days ago

There's no right answer.

So many dudes lie about having a big dick that no woman will ever believe any man that tells them they do.

If you tell them no they'll probably believe you.

The correct answer is some kind of coy flirty response like "play your cards right and you'll find out".

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You tell them "it's not 12" but it smells like a foot" and then get ready to fight them off with a stick.

Alright, I'm going with this.

[–] firewyre@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago

Tell her she's gonna have to find that out for herself

[–] Veedem@lemmy.world 120 points 3 days ago (3 children)

If you answer with anything other than some variation of “why don’t you find out for yourself?” You’re going to blow your chances.

[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago

Alohomora

chastity belt plops out

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Yeah, this seems like inexperienced people for playing via text, and I don't mean that as a shot at either. Gotta get experience sometime. Definitely worth making a joke about it, but maybe after the fact.

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[–] INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone 42 points 2 days ago

'you'll get used it it'

Works either way lol

[–] ReiRose@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Who are these people asking these questions? Im so out of touch

[–] throwawaysalami@discuss.online 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Tinder and night club people.

[–] oplkill@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Aka red flag peoples

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

"Big enough to fill most" then after say "we're talking about shoes right?"

Flirty answer followed by real answer if actually pressed. It's not like it's something you reasonably have control over anyway (I don't consider lengthening surgery reasonable, though more power to anyone that does, it ain't my body), outside of maybe some small gains if losing weight in your pelvis area or improving your general cardiovascular health.

Not gonna come out here and say size is totally irrelevant, but there's lots of ways to have great sex without going around bruising women's cervixes.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

I cannot imagine asking a guy his size. That is rude as heck.

If you have to answer "big enough" or "haven't had any complaints" seems reasonable though honestly I'm having trouble putting myself into the mindset of someone who would inquire.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

If asked, likely it's that they want access?

I'd just be truthful

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Penis size is 99% male insecurity and 1% female preference.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 31 points 2 days ago

So, as a gay dude, bigger is preferable (and WHY DO BOTTOMS HAVE ALL THE HUGE DICKS 😭) but I'm also not going to turn someone away because they aren't my imaginary godlike 13 inch uncut knotted wolfman - I'll suck and enjoy them at basically any size, any configuration.

So when a guy gets all worried about numbers, like my guy, if we are discussing sizes, you're already going to have a good time in short order. 7 inches, great, 4 inches, that is fine too. Needy subs at the front of the line, but this business doesn't close until the line is empty, and customer service is our priority. Rock what your momma gave ya.

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 6 points 2 days ago

Saw this happen at a party once, dude said its the best clit rubber you'll ever experience with confidence of a God. Everyone laughed.

[–] msokiovt@lemmy.today 5 points 2 days ago

I'd be honest all the way. If my member is small, I'd tell her that. If it's big... I'd tell her that. It doesn't matter to me, as lying just gets anyone nowhere.

[–] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

I would say I’ve never had any complaints. Then, depending on context I might add — but let’s be honest, probably not — “only one way to find out.”

On a more serious note, would it be okay to ask her if she’s tight? It’s basically the same question and deserves an equally serious response.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

I’ve never had any complaints either. But I have heard some micropenis sob stories and some baby-arm horror stories. Everyone here seems to take the question as “you’re not small are you?” it might also be “you’re not packing a cervix-busting pain stick are you?”

While I find it completely inappropriate to ask a guy “so do you have a micropenis or a baby arm?” I can also understand how unsatisfying it would be to fall for someone and THEN find out that your sex life was going to be nothing but pain, or just nothing period.

Different women have different tolerances. A micropenis is probably best for some ladies. Others need the bush monster. So sometimes the question has more to do with them than anything else.

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 4 points 2 days ago

What if you have had countless complaints and a few restraining orders, are you supposed to lie or not?

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

"Kolanaki, are you big?"

"I'm 6'6''."

"Haha no, I mean are you big?"

"I weigh 260lbs...?"

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 11 points 2 days ago

"What size is in your pants?"

"A 9mm caliber pistol."

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 days ago

your mum jokeYour mum didn't have any complaints.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

never ask a woman her age or weight.

never ask a man his penis size.

if someone asks you how big you are tell them, "big enough to ruin your night". could be both ways and still enticing enough to continue flirting.

if she continues to ask, tell her "you could find out yourself if you're inclined." then offer to go somewhere.

[–] Bongles@lemmy.zip 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

In the context of someone really asking, and not just joking around, yes you should be honest. Sounds like you'll be on the path to showing them so don't lie.

[–] Tonava@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 days ago

Yeah, what's the endgame if you lie?! If you're going to fuck, they'll find out the truth anyway. And if you lied, they'll pobably be less inclined to actually continue when they see you there, pantsless

[–] Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I would answer the true size in the unit of football fields.

Or light years, depending in what mood I am.

[–] 18107@aussie.zone 3 points 2 days ago

Attoparsecs

[–] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"You be the judge"

Let down the pants

Slap her in the face with it.

...

No but jokes aside, it's either an inappropriate question that you don't have to answer, or she's about to find out and decide herself.

Just imagine a guy asking the same about a woman's labia... wtf

[–] Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 days ago

Generally, if a woman asks you this, it is supposed to trigger male penis insecurities to see how you handle it.

So, even if you are not insecure about your penis size, you're quite obviously insecure in how to answer the question. For a woman that cares about this, you failed already, no matter what you answer.

Of course, if you manage to obscure your insecurity, your failure might be hidden. Such is the way of dating, in general.

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 9 points 2 days ago

You are not supposed to lie, which would be pretty stupid if they are interested and going to find out anyway.

If it is someone interested in you, it is flirting and could vary widely from wanting to know an accurate description to being similar to something else as a humorous comparison. One joke I've heard is built like a tuna can because it is girth but not long. Not a literal comparison of course, but it gets the idea across.

[–] Whostosay@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago

Lmao username checks out. Ask her how long her throat is and carry on

[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

You're not supposed to be insecure about it.

You can be honest , you can joke about it. I'd probably just tell them it's so boringly average, I measure every day and compare to the wikipedia article on penis size.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

You tell her you hope that she's not scared too easily and do it with a straight face. Then, say no more on the subject. She'll be too intrigued at the meaning of it to hold back the curiosity. Then it's too late. It's just a penis.

/Insert Nelson from Simpsons 'haha' here

[–] ReverendIrreverence@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"You won't care after I've first finished you off with my tongue talents"

[–] stinerman@midwest.social 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It depends on the context. Does she expect a serious answer? Do you feel comfortable telling her? If so you may want to use quantitative measurements (ie., an accurate length in cm/in) rather than vague adjectives like "big". One person's "big" is another person's "average."

[–] throwawaysalami@discuss.online 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

Does she expect a serious answer?

That's what I'm asking here. Do they generally expect a serious answer or not?

[–] stinerman@midwest.social 10 points 3 days ago

I am not a good person to ask because I've never been asked that question. My only suggestion is to try to discern the tone of her voice when she asks.

You are allowed to ask "are you serious?"

[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 days ago

It really depends on the person, there’s no universally right answer tbh.

[–] NaibofTabr 4 points 2 days ago

You can't generalize women this way. They're individual people.

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[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

"haven't had any complaints" (They've all been too polite)

[–] NaibofTabr 4 points 2 days ago

"Big enough."

[–] Chozo@fedia.io 3 points 2 days ago

I usually just sorta hold my hands out in front of me and gesture like I'm describing a fish I caught.

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I don't really give a fuck. If that's how you determine a partners suitability, cya.

[–] Bustedknuckles@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I think a lot depends on context. I've only been asked this in public razzing environments where joking back is appropriate "why? are you really loose?" Or "your dad didn't complain" If flirty, "play your cards right and maybe you'll find out" works. Like others've said. If joking and flirty, "what I lack in length, I make up for in quickness" To your question, I wouldn't give a number. Treat it as a vibe check and be confident. your dick is fine, bro.

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

I'd say lying is not a great idea if its someone you'd like a sexual relationship with as they're going to find out anyway. That said the right answer is all about context. You could spin it playfully and use the find out type of lines or stay mysterious with something like "a man can't share all their secrets". If you've got the confidence you can give them an accurate number or idea of size visually. I'd bet the confidence/delivery of the response matters more than the actual number for most people.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Not every lady wants big. An insecure guy would hear this question one way, like “do you have a small dick or what?” But it could also mean “are you going to hurt me because you’re too big?”

All of that assumes she has some interest in you. If it’s just a random person asking another random person then “that’s none of your damn business” would apply.

Everyone here’s saying “one way to find out WINK WINK” but that assumes she’s someone you want to have sex with. In my life the only women I’ve met who were this crass and forward were also beasts I wanted nothing to do with.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I don't know, you tell me

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