I bet he'd rip his Achilles as well if he tried running more than the length of his micro unit.
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As if he'd ever see a kid walking in front of that thing.
Hopefully it would be his own, in that case.
That guy must be a stepdad because no way he's made any children with his tiny wittle wee wee stick
Unfortunately there is a type of bleach blonde Karen that finds this type of specimen irresistible
Only in the USA, the rest of the 1st World is normal.
the US is 1st world?
By definition.
We will soon have to lobby out a reclassification for them. They're more and more like a 3rd world dictatorship.
Ohh, school pick up lines as in, a line of cars picking up students. Not pick-up lines, like "Hey baby, can you show me where music class is, cause I feel like playing in A minor."
Like the guy in the truck gives a shit about the difference.
“Hey baby, can you show me where music class is, cause I feel like playing in A minor.”
The Epstein and co pick up line.
At my son's kindergarten all the parents walked to pick up their kids because that's how the school was, in a small walkable neighborhood. One dad had a fishing t-shirt on that said "Master Baiter." Kinda similar personality as this RAM/WAR truck guy.
Welp, there's my cursed upvote of the day.
I need an adult

That was my initial thought... Nice pickup line btw. Do you have more? :)
These guys right here, officer
I've inadvertently ridden my bicycle through a couple school zones during drop-off times - and I'm sure pick-up times would be even worse.
Cycling around cars has an element of risk that we all know and accept. But that risk goes WAY UP in school zones at drop-off time. You'd think drivers would be looking for kids, people, etc. as they drop their precious off IN A SCHOOL ZONE. But, no.
For example: One started to pull out in front of me - I was in the lane, riding past, and she was pulling out of the school's driveway. I avoided her with some vigorous braking, then she had the gall to pull up at a light and tell me I should be careful.
It's a bunch of stressed, impatient parents who just want to grab their kid and get out, but are apathetic to everyone else trying to do the same. If all these other people weren't here they could do this so fast, why won't everyone get out of their way? It's a highly concentrated dose of the "Im gonna get mine and the rest of you can fuck right off" mentality. And, like most shitty driving behaviors, it feeds into itself. It makes good drivers make bad decisions because, if they don't, they're not going anywhere. "No one is letting me in, so if I dont cut someone off, I'm going to be stuck here another 15 minutes" type shit. I dont know why well-built pickup and drop-off areas aren't required for building schools past 1990, but here we are.
I... I would not be brave enough to drive around in a "truck" like that. Like mad props for never out growing your edge lord phase.
I want to see the scene of him getting out of the car like a little man
Conductor: Sir, this seat is for disabled people only.
Me, an intellectual: shows this picture I drive this.
Conductor: Sorry to have bothered you, sir.
Lucky I’ve not encountered him, the urge to talk to him like a 5 year old would be too great.
“What a big truck you have! And it’s so high up! I bet you have to do a big jump to get up there. And look, it says “WAR” on the front, that’s fun! Did you put that on yourself, or did you ask a man do it for you?”
Damn now I want to see a pink one driven by a catgirl and the logo flipped to say "awr".

That is amazing!
How does one like that get a kid? Like, what woman is into a guy like that, and how does it biologically work with insemination when you have a tiny micro penis like that? I bet the kid is from the milkman or something.