Cheetahs are apparently super chill as long as they're not hungry, otherwise they'll eat you so they can be super chill again.
this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
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I don't think even a hungry cheetah is going to kill an adult human, they're fast sure but too weak and would be unlikely to engage. They don't show much aggression to humans and are easy to tame. There has never been a lethal attack on humans from a wild cheetah.
There has never been a lethal attack on humans from a wild cheetah.
Recorded. They are so good no human ever survives. 🕵️
Well, they actually skirt the rules to stay out of the record books. They say it's good strategy, but I think they're all cheetahs.
They kill the witnesses as well
They know how to play Red Dead Redemption at least.
Someone is gonna need to double check this, but I feel like it's saw a documentary that said cheetahs are super anxious... in the doc I feel like a guy slept in a makeshift shelter with cheetahs in a thunderstorm to help chill them out.
It sounds so bizarre that im not actually convinced this wasn't a dream, though...
Sounds about right. In zoos they sometimes pair cheetah cubs with yellow lab puppies to help them deal with the stress of... existing while being a cheetah, I suppose.
The truth is that everyone should be paired with a dog to help them deal with stress.
I have mine. It works wonders.
Can confirm.
Excuse me, but I'm gonna need to see that snoot booped.
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There’s a series of photos from a wildlife photographer that are essentially selfies of him with a litter of cheetah cubs that the mother cheetah literally dropped in his lap while she went to go hunt. It’s been theorized that the only reason cheetahs have never been domesticated is that that they’re very difficult to breed in captivity.
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Highly niche hunter go brrr. Not to mention that we look and taste weird. Bony as hell vertical pigs that point sticks at anything threatening aren’t an appetizing meal to the the cat equivalent of a hummingbird
Me too bud, me too.
We're too big and too dangerous.
A cheetah would need to be very desperate to attack a human.
I can confirm this. Cheetos ads taught me this. They really are super chill
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SLIGHT NSFW WARNING
This year, I had the privilege of seeing such friendliness in person:
Shot on an ooold camera that still works.
Where was this? Amazing shots.
Can't tell if that Cheetah's pregnant or fat from just eating a heavy meal lol. Great shots though, that must have been awesome to see!
I’m almost certain it's a full belly, heh. It had just moved off a carcass, and seemed like one happy cat.
Thanks! Yeah I was extremely lucky in a million ways.
Cheetahs are not actually dangerous to humans. Their skulls/jaws are pretty small and they are slender to be aerodynamic, and they need to be uninjured to hunt, so they avoid confrontation at all costs, especially with something the size of a human.
Also there's never been a lethal attack on humans from a wild cheetah
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Domestic cats are not actually much different than wild cats in any way. they're just too small to eat us and raised to be more tame. If your loveable housecat was as big as a cheetah, they might not intentionally attack you out of aggression, but their predator instincts would kick in and would probably play with you until you died and possibly eat you like they do insects, lizards, and any other small creature.
I read an interview with a zoologist which described cats as evolutionarily perfect. Their dna really only varies primarily for size. All cats all over the world have survived with no need to seriously adapt to their environment.
no need to seriously adapt to their environment.
Yeah, cats make everyone and everything adapt to their environment. You have to completely go outside the environment to avoid their influence.
go outside the environment
Isn't that where the wrecked oil tanker is?
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Or snakes. Like, big snakes.
I swear, if a housecat sees a noodle, some "I'm born to paw this to death" switch goes off in their heads.
See: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rH5GxeyusM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIcpg_pFbF8
Interestingly, big cats aren't like that. They don't like snakes, and I think they're too big to dodge them.
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Cheetahs are apparently the most chill of the big cats, people do keep them as pets.
My local zoo will actually let people meet the cheetahs, and I can't imagine that happening with the tigers.
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Cheetahs aren’t dangerous to humans, they hang out with and even nuzzle up to wildlife photographers all the time.
I mean they aren't lions, but are you telling me that they're tamer than house cats? Because I definitely wouldn't trust a cheetah-sized house cat.
Depending on the individual I wouldn't even trust a house cat-sized house cat
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It's a trap. He just want you to get closer to pet him.
I want to pet the big cat
It'd probably let you. They're pretty chill cats.
Don't have a lot of energy, and have to save it for sprinting.
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b l e p
Cheetahs aren't dangerous, they're big zoomy cats
Since they min-maxed for speed, they're not very strong and don't really fight for their food, they get bullied easily
Yeah, don’t they partner them with Rottweilers in zoos to keep them company? Just big dogs chillin with big cats
I think it's golden retrievers, they're basically required to keep them from getting an anxiety disorder
Sometimes I conjure up the delusion that having a big feline is doable if raised from birth because my little feline is such an adorable baby that she shows her belly to literally everyone she sees even when she's never met them. But even this cute ball of fluff will dig her claws into my leg to avoid falling when she rolls over while napping on my lap. Imagine if those claws were 4 cm.
They meow as well.
Just imagine it lapping at the juices leaking from the shredded remains of your face. Glad to help!
Worse, cat tongues are barbed and are actually abrasive. They can literally lick your face off given enough time.
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Ah, the danger blep
They are too intimidated to attack you from the front, so they play nice
Easy - that's the face they make right before they chomp your soft parts and eat you
Go on then, give it a Boop then!
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