I need the bean virus
this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2026
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The bean virus spreads quickly through Lemmy. Beware.
beanware!
Somebody get me another god damn John Mcafee.
I still remember when that happened. I worked at a grocery store at the time and so many MAGA came and bought so much Goya by the case. Never saw them by those ever again even when they did get beans (many of them were regulars and it was a small store so there was only ever 1 cashier on duty at any time unless it got busy).
They’re also just gross.
I don’t remember how it happened but I wound up with one can of Goya and one can of (I think) Hanover Butter Beans.
The Goya beans were slimy, smushed, having fewer and overall shittier beans compared to the other brand.
So fuck Goya for everything you said but also fuck them for having a shit ass product.
No wonder Trump promoted them I guess
Yup, came here to say this.
this is the exact kind of prank i'd pull on my family except they're all logged into the same accounts i am. and i'm too broke to afford a second doordash.
Sign me the fuck up!
Thank you for subscribing to Bean Facts! You will now receive fun daily facts about Beans! Did you know uncooked kidney beans are toxic and can cause severe illness if consumed raw, but cooking them properly makes them safe to eat? (To cancel Bean Facts, reply )
I'm going to save this for when I go on my killing spree. I can pick up some kidney beans on my way back from mushroom foraging.
$(' ')
I think Lemmy has contracted the beans virus a few times.
Yeah we've bean there.
The antibeanotics never seem to clear it up.
Do a full year gradually reduce the frequency then start ramping up with the reveal on Christmas day when they open presents with cans of beans in them.
I like this long term prank... Solves Xmas challenges, too (sorta - it's a bit shitty)
I had some friends in high school who thought it was really funny to leave loaves of bread in peoples' mailboxes. When one guy asked about it, they told him it was from the government.
I love pranks like this - completely off the wall, nobody gets hurt
now all they need is some of that gubbahmint cheese to make a badass grilled cheese.
I would legit buy that brick-o'-cheese right now if I could find it in a store
Boycott Goya!
Noooo!
Oh, hey, the shithead who caused me to boycott Goya apparently got the boot last year. Too bad Goya waited five too many years; I'll be keeping my business elsewhere indefinitely.
To be fair, from that article:
At the time, the nine-person board was in favor of removing Unanue from the company entirely, but the regulations of the family-owned business, founded in 1936 by Prudencio Unanue Ortiz — Robert Unanue’s grandfather — would not allow it, as noted by the New York Post.
Though shitty company policies are also a good reason to boycott a company.
Extremely valid point, and I forgot to bring this up: I read the NYP article (god help me), and I could find no evidence of that claim (which surprises me NJ.com cited it for that). In fact, there's even counterevidence within the Post's article:
Some Goya owners have also asked the board to present a motion to remove Unanue as CEO because he’s been using the company to promote his political views, sources said.
“More than 50 percent of the shareholders do not want Bob to be the CEO,” a Goya source said. “All these political statements that Bob is making is dangerous for the company and for us personally as owners,” this person added.
“It will hurt the Unanue name and company if he continues,” a second Goya source and shareholder said. “He should be thrown out as CEO. I think it’s really hurting us.”
In an interview with The Post last week leading up to Friday’s vote, Unanue acknowledged that his job may be on the line.
“I’m attacked by my own family” he said. “I could be fired tomorrow … whatever. It’s touch and go.”
As The Post exclusively reported last year, Unanue narrowly escaped losing his job when he nixed an effort to sell a minority stake in the company to a private equity investor that would have brought in a non-family member CEO for the first time in the company’s 85-year history.
It's still possible that there's some other source describing this alleged restriction, but I don't know of it.
I mean, not using a corruptible president is just leaving money on the table. It’s not like-
“…his vocal support of President Donald Trump”
I hope he develops a debilitating gambling addiction so he might one day experience hardship again.
They know it is coming from OP but keep the ruse going to avoid crushing what they consider OPs only source of self gratification and pleasure going on in OPs otherwise unremarkable life.
Yeah, I've heard people have to resort to some crazy stuff once porn stops working for them
Goya, the company that paid Trump to shill those shitty beans in the Oval Office. Our world has become a constant Onion headline.
Paying a courier to deliver a single can of beans isn't that far either if you think about it.
This sounds fun. 😂
Brushing is an actual scam / deceitful practice, which involves receiving items you didn't order
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brushing_(e-commerce)
It doesn't usually happen with beans
TIL. I got an unexplained bidet addressed to me once, and concluded my spouse was trying to drop a hint.
I love beans, this would be a very useful prank if someone did it to me
Bro my vegetarian ass is like 30% black beans by volume. Someone please infect me with the beans virus
Black beans could probs turn me vego ngl lol
Looks like Brer Rabbit really hates beans you guys
They're actually smart to be wary of computer viruses. It just seems mean to take advantage of their ignorance of them like that, unless they're assholes and deserve it.
Screenshot of a tweet of a screenshot
Based
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