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this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2026
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A Boring Dystopia
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"Robots will replace all jobs and work for us!" -- Who realistically thought they would be in the "us" here?
Robots belong to companies owned by shareholders, but mostly oligarchs. In their view, when robots work for "them", human population has been culled with 99.9% of the population died by starvation and/or stopped reproducing, and the 0.1% billionaire families survivors enjoy a cosy life where robots do everything.
Until the system crashes and none of these idiots know how to fix anything.
That's one more human extinction scenario to the list…
What we need are Luigi robots.
Robots can pick up corpses of the formerly homeless without feeling bad about it.
Robots can make pizzas out of the homeless without feeling 101011010011 about it
They don't give a single bit abt you
I think robots can help, but it requires laws, overhauled society, and a twist on things. Instead of companies owning many individual robots, such as shelf stockers, cleanup bots, and food handlers, individual people own a single robot. This robot is loaned out to companies, but service can be retracted by the human owner.
That sort of requirement would make it so that companies can't become automated fiefdoms of an individual will, as they have to get robotic labor from ordinary people.
It requires truly abandoning the idea that one must work for one's pay. That basic assumption has to completely die before you can enter that world of technological post-scarcity. I don't think that reckoning is going to arrive peacefully.
CEOs and owners hate payroll, it's their biggest "expense" and many would eliminate all employees the second they are able to.
The board would be very happy to have that expense removed; a perfect capitalist company needs no employees, just robots.
At least we'll get to see the CEOs bitch, they're quite an expense on their own and will also be replaced.
where will they get the profits without customers though? If all companies got what they wanted and replaced employees with robots, people wouldnt have jobs and couldnt afford to buy anything. Do the rich have endgame for that scenario? Can't see them caring to use humans as slaves either, why bother when they got robots already.
you don't need profits anymore when you have robotic slaves. you need profits to pay people to do the work you want to be done for you. if you have robots doing everything to keep a large estate running for you with all necessities and complete automation, what do you need more humans or profit for? If you need a door replaced you send a robot to make a new one, you don't need a complete carpentry industry.
In my town the children fuck with these to learn to fuck with waymos when they grow up. Trapping them with signs is funny and you can't get in trouble, bashing/stripping them is cooler but they're expensive enough that pretty much any damage is a "felony" so watch out for that
There have to be trackers on it, so if you take it home to dissect it, they'll be crashing through your door pretty soon. That robot is owned by a big corporation, and has more rights than you.
Don't have to steal it to fuck with it
Kids are inherently anarchist in nature. Donate a faraday net to your local children today. Keep them safe.
The pros used to use foil lined vans for stripping scooters, imagine they're still at it. The kids smash n dash with the batteries like pheasant hunters just pulling the breasts and put them in their ebikes to get away even faster next time
So has anyone broken into one of these things for food yet or no? Because I could definitely see a particularly hungry crackhead with a pry bar cracking one open like a kinder surprise egg.
I saw a video of a group of guys beating the shit out of one, screaming "No Clankers!"
Attacking robots is going to become a thing.
They have a lot of anti tip stabilizing stuff. Its really fun to tackle them.
Sucks murdering the scum who own and code them wouldnt help anything.
Robots solve inequality in a social, humane society. Not in Capitalism. Capitalism is based on inequality, it cannot survive without oppression.
Robots are just the new slave labour. The old slave labour is now redundant so doesn't need to be fed.
It actually can't survive without slavery. We just call it offshore labor now.
Sure, Offshore it to our local slaves we tend to call prisoners.
We still do that too. For other domestic cheap labor we use Mexicans primarily.
Slavery is oppression so they’re still right, and oppression includes more things than just slavery which is more true. Capitalism is designed to give power to money, not equal power to people. It doesn’t even serve as a way to give a louder voice to those who work hard because it’s about having money and not about how said money was made.
So, yes, but you’ve made the comment less accurate.
You've just spent the night sleeping face-down in a plate of synth-spaghetti in a bar called the Chatsubo. After rubbing the sauce out of your eyes, you can see Chiba sky through the window, the color of television tuned to a dead channel. Ratz's prosthetic Russian arm whines as he wipes the bar. "I don't care if you eat that spaghetti or sleep in it, you still gotta pay for it. 46 credits. Pay up, cyberscum." "Sorry Ratz. I can't afford it. Want me to give it back?" "You're under arrest, citizen, for not paying your tab." "You find yourself in a Justice booth. On the wall monitor in front of you if the huge image of a frowning Compu-Judge. On the smaller monitor is there serious face of a Compu-Lawyer "You have been charged with a serious crime, citizen. I will be your Judge. Due to the serious nature of your crime, there can only be one verdict... Guilty. You must remain in Chiba City. A fine of 500 credits will be deducted from your bank account."
Found the Gibsonian.
A gentleman of culture I see.
I love how distopian cyberpunk the reality has become. We're living a fantasy!
Robots will solve wealth equality...
Yeah, we'll all be equally poor.
Until robots can drive revenue for corporations by spending actual real dollars, everyone being poor is a bad thing.
Capitalism used to be about getting move money, improving previous things, and making more money. Now it's just about the next quarter.
Eventually that next quarter won't go up. Because not enough actual humans can afford to make line go up. Companies will lay off more people and there will be even more people who don't make line go up.
Capitalism has a hard end. Not a soft one. Eventually there just is not enough money for every day people to make money. When you funnel all of it into the top 1%, unless you're just trading money back and forth or hording it while the world burns... What happens after the latter? What happens to the multiple multi-trillionaires who all of a sudden can't find plumbers to fix their mansions, pilots to fly their planes, or chefs to cook the famine they created?
I submit that we reached that point long ago. I remember working for a record company in the 90s, and being to go talk to my closest retail buyers, and try to get them to buy a pallette of some slow moving title, telling them that they don't even need to crack it open, just stick it in a corner, and I'll authorize the return next month. And that happened regularly.
Now we're at a point where they are doing all sorts of crazy things to keep the numbers looking good. We've blown past all the normal markers like efficient experts, layoffs, downsizing, shrinkflation, lobbying, literal fraud, and now they're pinning their hopes on replacing asich of the human workforce as possible.
They aren't looking forward to an America with 60% permanent unemployment rate, or even the next quarter, they are trying to keep the Dow up for the week.
Robots that automate food and medical care production and that are open source will make capitalism obsolete. Not robots in general.
that's cute
Goddamn clankers
If you're poor enough to need to pay for pizza in installments, you don't need to get it delivered to your doorstep. Walk out and get it.
(Unless it's too dangerous to walk the streets in the US now idk)
Or don't eat takeaway food in general, would probably do you some good too.
walking to get a pizza only works for maybe 2% of statesians, and those areas have costs of living that functionally prevent the poor from living there. do you suggest the actually poor statesians do? their butlers won't grab it for them
Let them eat cake?
that seems to be all y'alls reaction to "hey, poor people exist"
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Remember cow tipping? That possibly urban myth about farmer's kids pushing over sleeping cows? I was just thinking about that for some reason. Seems like good viral video content, I mean if it were true.
Probably one of the reasons you see these little robots far more often in the online shitpost section than the real world.
NYT had a whole article about stochastic violence aimed at robots
A hitchhiking robot was beheaded in Philadelphia. A security robot was punched to the ground in Silicon Valley. Another security bot, in San Francisco, was covered in a tarp and smeared with barbecue sauce.
...
The comedian Aristotle Georgeson has found that videos of people physically aggressing robots are among the most popular he posts on Instagram under the pseudonym Blake Webber. And much of the feedback he gets tends to reflect the fear of robot uprisings.
...
Dozens of vigilantes have thrown rocks at driverless cars in Arizona, for example, and incident reports from San Francisco suggest that human drivers are intentionally crashing into driverless cars.
The more we do this, the more their tech bro owners will push for allowing these things to defend themselves. Image that little bot in OP’s pic armed with a taser.
A taser can be defeated with cotton and leather layering. Unless they're willing to strap a viable arc weilder to one then there are ways around that, if they do strap an arc weilder to one then free arc weilder.
Who would win, an robot or a squirt gun?
Where are the molotovs, when you need them…
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