this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 59 points 2 days ago (3 children)

That’s crazy - I’m a pair of twin sisters who like to have sex with other, but what we’d really like is to find a guy with absolutely no social skills or sexual experience to join us, and not just as a one-off thing but on an ongoing relationship basis.

[–] JokeDeity@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

What about poor social skills and a decent amount of sexual experience? I can pretend to be worse if need be.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Nice, how many of my credit card numbers do you need?

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

All of them.

Lowered expectaaations...

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 145 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] elvith@feddit.org 22 points 3 days ago (5 children)

...so you took the matter into your own hands?

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[–] Pman@lemmy.org 22 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Well to be fair to the guy the first step would be to find a set of twins. It won't help him at all but that would be the first step.

The first step is to learn basic social skills so he doesn't make said twins disregard him the moment he meets them. First impressions are important.

[–] Samskara@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

The first step is to level up your attraction levels. Status, money, fame, power, and let’s not forget physical attraction.

I am surprised at the amount of genuine discussion this meme has provoked here.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This feels like one of those "I've never kissed a girl before, but I've watched a lot of porn" fantasies that works great in your head and horrible in practice.

[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Feel free to turn down as many hot twins that want to have a threesome as you want mate

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Every time I deliver a pizza to the posh kid's neighborhood, there's inevitably a pair of 19 year old twins wearing lingerie, covered in whipped cream, whom I've interrupted in the middle of a pillow right. And I have to tell them "No no no, there's no other way to pay me. I only accept cash or plastic."

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 108 points 3 days ago (19 children)

It's funny that instead of imagining finding people who are actually into that, anon defaults to the frog boiling manipulation approach

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[–] toiletobserver@lemmy.world 146 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Well, i do know someone who married a guy with a brother. Cheated with the brother, divorced the guy, then married the brother. Oh, and kids are involved. Say hi to Uncle Daddy!

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Was that how you came up with your username?

[–] Gaja0@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Reading is hard

Tioleto b server

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[–] lasta@piefed.world 87 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

There was a story circulating a few years ago about a pair of twins who strive to be “the most identical twins in the world”, which includes sharing a fiancé and timing their pregnancies for the same date. It is not mentioned whether they bang each other though (not something I care to speculate about lol).

I suppose the first step to making the OP’s fantasy possible would be having massive amounts of money.

[–] nickhammes@lemmy.world 22 points 3 days ago

Though to be fair, a lot of plans are at least easier if you start out with massive amounts of money.

[–] taygaloocat@leminal.space 15 points 3 days ago

Well I'll be damned

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[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago

"So, any takers?"

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 29 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Regardless of ethics, I gotta commend the pragmatism against such an uphill battle

[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 10 points 2 days ago

This guys literal pipe dream is more achievable than my groceries because he at least wrote it down

[–] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 63 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I believe you get your ass kicked saying something like that

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[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today 11 points 2 days ago

They were fraternal twins, but I still feel like he'd approve.

[–] DancingBear@midwest.social 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Step one: Become a billionaire

[–] Samskara@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

You don’t need that much. Some money is certainly helpful to have though.

If you go to a poor country to find suitable twins and marry them in a country that allows polygamy, you only need modest wealth.

[–] mika_mika@lemmy.world 52 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Easy, just look for twins in the Bible belt.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 49 points 3 days ago

Saved from papas incest basement only to land in papa’s incest basement. Tragic

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[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

This has the same energy as those guys who go on niche hobby forums looking for "easy steps" thinking they're going to get rich quick doing something that takes years to refine, but actually they will end up buying the wrong chemical or some shit and end up disfigured for life after inhaling the deadly gases that the "nerds" online repeatedly warned them about

Eh idk make a lot of money or lower your standards and find two drug addict sisters who wont give a fuck, or I guess do both to maximize success rate.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 15 points 2 days ago

Step 1: be rich. Like, rich enough that you could buy twins into doing that and still have money left to keep them

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] derry@midwest.social 10 points 2 days ago

Have they checked the polycule poster?

[–] graycube@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] BreakerSwitch@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

I think there's a pair of such in Minnesota who share a single body with two heads. I vaguely remembered hearing they got married, but according to wikipedia... Only one of them got married. That must be an awkward sex life.

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