this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
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imagine a slider on a video game going way in the other direction, that is. this isn't like one of those philosophy riddle things

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[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 73 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Alcohol is addicted to me.

[–] captainjaneway@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"If you've managed to quit alcohol - your greatest weakness - perhaps you've already found your greatest strength."

- Gandalf the Grey

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

I mean, in a way, it can't quit you...

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 37 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Partial disability from a car breaking my neck and back, causing issues with posture :: I have super human strength and endurance I use to fuck up cars for fun

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 47 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] eskimofry@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ah takes me back so many years!

[–] appel@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 years ago

The game is "Street Fighter II", in case you have a senior moment like I did.

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

You’re not fighting E. Honda, you’re fighting A Honda.

It’s all in the packet.

[–] tatterdemalion@programming.dev 27 points 2 years ago

My greatest strength is already also my greatest weakness: hyper focus from ADHD.

[–] Limeey@lemmy.world 27 points 2 years ago

I’m now on time. People notice my punctuality, no one actually cares.

[–] theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)

My greatest weakness is my passivity and inability to make decisions so honestly I have no idea.

[–] Wild_Mastic@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You would become an incredible and charismatic leader, always capable of picking the right choice and carrying everyone forward.

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

You now have the ability and drive to always make decisions. Are they good ones? Who knows but they are decisions

[–] Siethron@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I become a social butterfly with insane levels of charisma.

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Nightclub promotions? Is that still a job or did AI influencers take over it after Covid?

[–] MxM111@kbin.social 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Now I am immortal god.

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

A lot of people read this as "your greatest weakness is now gone" which makes sense given the video game slider analogy

Meanwhile I'm here like "how do I somehow, hilariously, become unstoppable by means of procrastinating everything"?

But I did think of it: significantly extend my lifespan by procrastinating dying :]

[–] Case@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's not a fortunate power, but time stops for everyone and everything until you are doing something that's even slightly productive.

The cosmic burden of knowing that all of time relies on you getting off the couch, grabbing a shower, and getting done whatever tedious chore you've been putting off. Constantly.

Not a boon, but a curse.

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 years ago

thanks i'm pretty sure you just gave my assigned personal hell demon ideas 💀

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[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 12 points 2 years ago

I am procrastinate and don't fully commit to things: I am well planned and finish everything I lay my hands on.

[–] DaneGerous@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

Having my head chopped off now makes me stronger and more alive.

[–] CriticalMiss@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

I am happy and enjoy every moment of life.

[–] frankPodmore@slrpnk.net 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I'm very forgetful, so I guess in this scenario I have an eidetic memory. I become one of those weird guys who wins every game show due to my fantastic recall of everything I've ever read, seen or heard.

[–] phanto@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 years ago

I guess my head becomes invincible and nothing can hurt it and I feel no pain in my head, ever?

[–] delta@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

i can walk again :)

[–] XEAL@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm undepressable and I don't have ADHD anymore

[–] 32b99410_da5b@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

All those walls and furnitures will miss you ricocheting off them.

[–] XEAL@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

WHERE DID YOU PUT THE CAMERAS

[–] UnderBoob@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm gonna be social and charismatic af

[–] TonyOstrich@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

I have always said if I could re-roll my stats I would trade whatever amount of intelligence I supposedly have to be dumb as a box of fucking rocks with a ludicrous amount of charisma.

[–] NorthWestWind@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

I break everything I touch -> I fix everything I touch

The other day I saw the clock in the bathroom stop working. I swapped the batteries and it stopped working entirely.

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My gremlins that used to crawl over every inch of my home taking things apart, leaving things in senseless places, and constantly asking for food, a listening ear and a hug - are now helping me out around the house, listening when I need another perspective and generally helping keep me out of trouble.

TL;DR - Just parenthood, if all goes to plan...

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[–] SattaRIP@kbin.social 4 points 2 years ago

I become capable of doing everything I want to, when I want to do it, instead of overthinking and second guessing myself.

I then work my way up to becoming an uploaded intelligence and abolishing capitalism. /s

[–] Gamoc@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

The world is invaded by day walker vampires somehow. Most of the human population is dead or turned, those remaining live under a cloud of distrust and paranoia - anyone could be a vampire. even the people you know could've been turned since you last saw them.

I don't notice. Because of social anxiety, I stayed indoors.

[–] AceFuzzLord@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

Well, now that I don't absolutely suck at talking to strangers and don't fumble my words, my life just got a lot easier.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Not my weakness becoming a strength, but going away and now I am a different person, my inverse? But my strengths do not become weaknesses?

Disorganization is my bane, and a complete inability to multitask, so I guess I would either be obsessive/compulsive or would be able to be an executive assistant or politician.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

I can never be angry. Hmm guess I would change my career to be some guy who teaches seminars or does anger management sessions. Or maybe IT for the DMV.

[–] Clbull@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I go from being a socially awkward and unattractive virgin to suddenly being able to pull multiple women in a night.

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[–] WeLoveCastingSpellz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] MashedTech@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

God I need this one.

[–] cascadingsymmetry@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I can digest any food at all without bloating, gas or suddenly urgent toilet trips.

[–] 211@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Instead of being guilt-ridden and terrified of making mistakes, especially if they might cause harm to others, I get... antisocial personality disorder? Fuck.

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