(Took about 2hrs to write and honestly could add more but I won't blame y'all for not reading it all)
Currently funemployed because I had quit a shitass job that didn't pay well enough to warrant the toxic work environment and busy workload. Been donating plasma to buy groceries (and MJ to keep myself sane and not be half-cocked as per my partners judgement), haven't worried about rent for about 5 months because my landlord had let the living space spiral into disarray from neglect and currently not worried about a phone plan because I use wifi. But. Yesterday afternoon I was pulled off to the side and told my proteins were too low and I'm at risk of being deferred from that center if it comes back low again, and it's unable to be clocked properly by their initial testing, it's how I was able to donate but later the donation was no good and or it's a health risk.
So went into the fridge and borrowed the LL's beyond beef without asking and cooked some beans. But I'm not sure it'll be enough and tbh I think donating has been a contributing factor in thinning my hair ( and it's been fucking with my self esteem and image heavily especially since I've been undecided with whether or not I want to start hrt at 30 and well... I'd rather be a bald dude if I'm gonna lose my hair, so it's very disheartening and just sux...) . There's that, I've had several teeth break and have dealt with that for about 4 years now with and without pain.
Partner is also funemployed but recently found something he just hasn't started yet and the rate will be a little low because it's training first and all that. I myself have looked but I have been pretty pessimistic about work culture , pay, etc. Been kinda hoping I just don't wake up vs having to be abused as a worker. Gaslit, guilt tripped, and squeezed dry. Done. But I know I need to find something, I just don't have a degree or a trade, and my experience is in customer service and hospitality so everything is gonna suck, holy shit balls.
I only smoke weed if substance is a concern, poppers (amyl nitrate) as well, but that's been awhile and tbh if I had my way I'd be sober, but sober me is an ass without the therapy I desperately need.
I've just been letting myself go to waste I guess. Not working, not working out ( hard to do with a barebones shit diet, partly due to my partners aversion to beanis and taste for b.s. ez to make processed foods, I've also been just letting them make decisions on food because I don't have many preferences, but I should fix that. Hard to do with someone who thinks they know everything and honestly we've had plenty of arguments about it...), letting my room get pretty bad with clothes strewn everywhere, dishes not getting done or done very slowly, at least showering semi regularly though like once every two or three days at the worst. I think if me and my current s.o. were in a different spot it'd better, but technically he shouldn't be here and the LL has made it clear they don't want them here, so he's been hiding when LL/Roommate is home, and he doesn't have a place to go since his parents house has been taken over by his siblings that have ignored him and his parents wishes in order to do as they please, and he called his older brothers probation officer because of his abuse of fent and by extention neglecting his 4 children. So kinda a narc but at the same time reasonable since he's been more of a dad than the actual dad.
The LL has also given me a silly written notice asking for the back pay which he settled on 1,510 that he wants by july 10th(I've been putting off making a post like this for awhile)(rent is $400, good on paper, but my room has a tin roof that turns it into an oven from 10-6) with ways to lessen the amount and potentially be paid but I'm still checked out of the situation and couldn't care less. Add to that, the floor that was water damaged was replaced, BUT the moldy subfloor was not. There's dry rot and mold under the kitchen sink, front porch light still doesn't work since hurricane Ian(2022), the lights don't flicker as bad in the kitchen anymore but the breaker trips every once in awhile while using the microwave, the bathroom still has a weird gap after the tub was replaced and the floor is still bare poured concrete where the toilet is at from when they fixed the outside plumbing and laundry room outlet for the washer.
Way back in 2018 I totaled my car with no insurance and as of right now have no valid drivers license and feel as though if I had that reinstated and a reliable car I wouldn't be in this mess.
If there are any class traitors willing to risk a modicum of their income to help me get out of this big ass hole I've fallen into, I think about 6 or 7k would barely cover every little thing that has gone wrong the past 6 years 10k to be absolutely safe and to be able to make strides after what seems like an eternity in purgatory.
Now for the comrades who aren't as financially able but still want to help, anything helps. It really does considering I lost out on $45 yesterday and by extention I won't hit the $100 for donating twice in a week.
After what's happened with a user here ( imo it's not their fault at the end of the day, but can't say one way or the other since I can't know the whole situation) idk what kind of rules or systems are in place now vs when I last posted on an account I no longer have access to, when I needed a new bike, groceries and a cheap phone. But I'll put my Cash app at the bottom and if there's anything y'all can spare, again it's greatly appreciated.
(NGL Reaaaallly hoping someone too generous for this world and their income bracket makes my day because on top of all this my mom and her bf(situationship partner? Idk...) have been homeless and she's developed melanoma and has been having identity theft issues along with just not having money and getting screwed over by clients with any painting jobs they line up. And it'd make me feel waaay less of a shit azz child despite the tenuous relationship she's fostered because of the shit azz relationship she's had with her mother and family...sigh and so on. Shit sucks yo, kinda why I don't want kids despite wanting kids of my own since I was little so I could be the one to get it 'right'...)
If anyone has any leads, job opportunities, resources, anything for (doxxing myself a lil) Pinellas county fl, more specifically St Petersburg that'd also be appreciated. Been using indeed and getting the same jobs over and over and no interviews or calls. Have thought about working on a cruise ship but reading job reviews and then seeing news articles about being left in port is giving me 3rd thoughts about it despite how much I could potentially squirrel away.
https://cash.app/$HexBeara
just execute meee plzz or if I'm still left with no option, not even the sweet release of death, I'll rate them all mid af at best. 
, who'd it be? I saw joke responses for Markiplier that seemed to gain traction on tiktok the same day, other comments here and on YouTube proposed Jill Stein(or it was just yt and my mind is playing tricks). Asking because I had had a discussion with my roommate (the other roommate that isn't the LL) and he said something along the lines of if I don't vote I don't get to complain, which i don't agree with but understand the sentiment. That and we discussed more of an importance of local elections rather than national. And idk I'm not one for caring anymore. If things were better and more hopeful I'd try but teeth hurt and it's not getting better, hair is falling out, body is weak, diet is shit, youth is gone, and I've nothing to show for it. So I definitely don't care anymore and more than likely won't participate myself unless I really see some sort of movement even then I'd probably walk into traffic before voting again.
problems I guess