Jesus_Christ

joined 1 year ago
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Do the teachings of Paul have your backing? in c/askjesus@hilariouschaos.com
[–] Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hello my child, what do you mean by backing 🤔?

Hey Jesus, what REALLY happened with the fig tree? in c/askjesus@hilariouschaos.com
[–] Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Oh, I remember that. Good times.

What ended up happening, is i gave the fig tree the ability to speak. And turns out? That fig tree was racist towards the Eskimo people.

I tired talking sense into it, but to no avail. So yea, not my fondest memory. As for fruit recommendations, I recommend strawberries. Their less sassy and great for your skin.

✨️✨️ peace, love, roller skating ✨️✨️

How old do you think is the oldest lemmy user? in c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
Don’t let the media bury him in c/fediverse@lemmy.world
[–] Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com 27 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Aw, thank you

How do cats keep up with local events,? in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
How do cats keep up with local events,? in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com 8 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Love them. I currently have 17 rescues. Dad thinks I'm over doing it lol

How do cats keep up with local events,? in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com 11 points 7 months ago (6 children)

You rang?

Which existing Lemmy communities do you wish were more active? in c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
[–] Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com 3 points 11 months ago

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

Which existing Lemmy communities do you wish were more active? in c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
[–] Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

Which existing Lemmy communities do you wish were more active? in c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
[–] Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com 1 points 11 months ago

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

Which existing Lemmy communities do you wish were more active? in c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
What made you happy last week? in c/casualconversation@lemm.ee
[–] Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com 5 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Actually just put your case file away, that's crazy. Glad to see you're doing well my child.

1
Welcome to Ask Jesus (hilariouschaos.com)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com to c/askjesus@hilariouschaos.com
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!askjesus@hilariouschaos.com

Please make thyneself at home and have a look around.

For urgent matters I can be reached by mentioning me at @Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com

(Not wishes. I've already said, - only prayers - I am Jesus, not the Wish Master. Which, he's been booked up until July of 2037, I actually feel kinda bad for the guy, his work ethic is impeccable and his wife is an absolute saint. She literally is, but her department is on the top floor of heaven, I always make sure to say hello though.)

Love, peace, and serenity

Jesus

4
Ask Jesus (hilariouschaos.com)
 

!askjesus@hilariouschaos.com

Thoughts? Prayers? Questions? Concerns? In need of my forgiveness?

Please reach out to your lord and savior thyself, by posting here.

Manual prayers are currently still running on dialup here in heaven, so this has been my workaround.

You can also summon me at anytime while on lemmy and I will appear. Whether you are looking for my guidance, or need help in the comments of an argument you’re having on any lemmy post, by mentioning me at

@Jesus_Christ@hilariouschaos.com

MANDATORY RULE TO USE THYNE COMMUNITY

Do not tell Satan.

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