I shot guns this weekend for the first time. If you're able to find a leftist gun club in your area I'd fully recommend doing it. I feel so much more comfortable with the amount of training I've gotten already and am now considering purchasing a gun for myself at some point.

hope everyone is having a good week

my weekly allowance of

I HATE HAVING A VAGINA

I played Outer Wilds recently and kept thinking "if only I was in a time loop..." A 15 month time loop would be intense, but I'd go through a loop even longer to undo this

Anyone got a good guide on how to turn raws into vials of E?

edit: found it. it was in a stickied thread here.

The doctor appointments just keep on coming for me. Had another one today with my other surgeon.

Also been on edge today. Had a horrific nightmare last night that has thrown me completely off kilter. I feel awful as it has inadvertently been taken out on my partners by getting snippy and stuff. I’ve since smoothed things over, but still. I hate when I get like that.

I'm sleepy. I'm also agender so this counts as a trans mood. I would love a shower and then a nice clean bed

Amazing how Caesar doesnt even pay you or give anything to entice you to support his LARPING slaver army, like he literally expects the Courier to just blindly follow his orders . Legion route is literally one of those evil fallout choices thats really just picked for contrarianism.

holy fucking shit I royally fucked up shaving today and got covered in little tiny cuts all over my chin neck and jawline FUCK

i am so bad at this shit

does waxing fucking up laser? i'm not on laser and won't be for a while but i don't want to make life harder for me later, but i need a better short term way of getting rid of this shit

Fallout lore: omg chems are bad drugs are bad!!!!!

Chems in actual game: pretty much super serums

Ow.

I don't have to desperately fight against facial hair any more like I did before starting HRT and laser, when I would get multiple cuts on my face almost every day trying to get a smooth face, but today I relaxed a bit too much when shaving and got reminded that razors are still very sharp and can cut you, even when your hairs are less coarse.

the woman I've been texting on HER just looked up who halimede is and has demanded to know why I have 'halimede lover' in my profile

new mega new mega

I am simultaneously so busy rn but also feel like I'm doing nothing but waste time

I want to look at my body with pride one day

Starting to think i might be on too low a dosage.

My endo put me on 4mg injections every two weeks. Learning about how valerate tends to have high peaks and low troughs is starting to make sense with how i feel in the days leading to my injection and the days after, though i suppose that could be purely psychological.

Also kinda want to get into DIY because I saw that EEn tends to give more consistent levels but i dunno how I'm going to justify that when my insurance is also providing facial hair removal. Maybe I should switch once that runs its course or I change jobs/lose my insurance.

I guess for now I'll try and advocate for myself with my endo and see if I can be put on a higher/more frequent dosage

So I've been reading Dungeon Meshi for my mulched brain and... she wants to stop being a catgirl???

Meow nya, miss! Absolutely not relatable at all.

I feel so hopeless about my gender. I spent almost a year engaging with these feelings and doing nothing about them. Then I tried starting to do hair removal but I just couldn’t keep up with it and ended up having prickly stubble everywhere 24/7. I’m pretty sure I don’t want breasts, so I don’t want estrogen. So I’m just kind of stuck like this.

Got my laser hair removal auth in the mail on wednesday and I got some kind of sick on thursday.

I'm so mad, I really wanted to start it this weekend but now I have to wait til next weekend because these fucking losers at my work can't be assed to stay home when they're sick.

On the bright side I did get to meet my potential new roommates this week, one of them is my friend's partner and is NB, and the other is a trans woman. Suddenly I get to be around other queer people and it's completely by chance. They're both very leftist which is super cool, but we'll have to see exactly where they fall. Things they've both said make me think they're open to marxism but you never know.

This is such a weird little thing, but I write in an online journal app every day, and I had the thought last night, "What if I played with the font and text to make it pink and feminine-looking?"

This feels like a joke, and maybe it sounds like a joke, but for some reason, typing with a pink, slightly-more-girly font made me feel a bit "lighter". It is so weird. For some reason, I have this association between visually customizing the everyday things around you (e.g. using colourful pens and notebooks, putting stickers on things) as being very "girly", in a way that I used to avoid, and am, deep into my adulthood, finally starting to embrace.

Someone was saying something bad and got banned ogey

Although it's probably too early to call anything at 11 days HRT, I think I might faintly feel... something here. I work a very stressful/difficult job that I get angry at a lot (with unfortunately good health insurance so I can't just up and quit), but I can feel something different in the way I handle the stress/anger. Like, there used to be this sharp urge that made you want to throw shit against the wall or scream at something that is still there but... dampened? I'm still mad at shit but it feels much easier/more natural to just kind of keep it inside of me without the urge of lashing out

Tactically wearing make up only a few days a week to keep it exciting and fun, totally not because I cba most mornings

idk how to tag this so I'm going to go for "dated language" even though that isn't really right and there's not any slurs. Also negativity. And uh, maybe some dysphoria posting. Just assume the worst I suppose.