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Sure, us Americans are obviously delusional, but can we talk about the fact that almost half of all brits think they would lose to a goose? They're 20 pounds, have no teeth or claws, and their bones are hollow. Have a little confidence, guys, I'm sure you can take poultry in a fight.

Look at all this shocking overconfidence.

Meanwhile, over in reality, Billy Big Balls is getting the tendon in his ankle severed in 0.3 seconds while screaming like a banshee and falling down. The only reason people look at even the high-percentage animals this way is that, 100% of the time in daily life, they have no interest in fucking you up for real.

Edit: Actually, there is one exception: I firmly believe the average person could fuck up a goose if they committed to it. Geese are pushy assholes with surprisingly sharp beaks and humans don't really like getting in life or death struggle with any organism, by and large, but I've seen a person seize a goose by the neck and the goose in question wasn't so intimidating after that happened.

chimpanzee would rip you the fuck apart, more than a gorilla

14 May 1805: Narrow Escape

One of their most harrowing experiences with a grizzly occurred on 14 May 1805, on the bank of the Missouri River between the Milk and Musselshell rivers. Clark wrote:

Six good hunters of the party fired at a Brown or Yellow Bear Several times before they killed him, & indeed he had like to have defeated the whole party, he pursued them Seperately as they fired on him, and was near Catching Several of them one he pursued into the river, this bear was large & fat would way about 500 wt

Lewis described the climax of the incident:

he pursued two of them seperately so close that they were obliged to throw aside their guns and poucnes and throw themselves into the river altho’ the bank was nearly twenty feet perpendicular; so enraged was this animal that he plunged into the river only a few feet behind the second man he had compelled to take refuge in the water, when one of those who still remained on shore shot him through the head and finally killed him.

When they butchered the animal, they found that a total of eight rifle balls had entered its body in different directions.

https://lewis-clark.org/sciences/mammals/bears/grizzly-bear-encounters/

You will not beat a grizzly bear unarmed. You might not beat a grizzly bear armed.

If people knew more about chimpanzees, they'd be right down there with bears and elephants. I would 100% prefer to take on a wolf or a kangaroo, taking Aussies at their word about how insane roos are, over a chimp. The chimp probably has just as high a K/D as the bear or elephant, but it's going to teabag you while wearing the face it ripped off your skull before you go out.

Confirmed: Brits are shit fighters

anyone honestly saying they could win a fight with a bear is someone who hikes with a .45 and thinks that will do anything for them before the bear has already killed them

I've played enough RPGs to know you can lose to a rat, even with a sword and armor equipped

No wonder the Brits lost the 13 Colonies, mfs can't even take a goose.

Would enjoy watching some tough guys try and fight anything from chimp on down.

“Yeah, bro, I can totally fkn take an elephant!”

Over 30% don't believe they would prevail over a house cat.

Would like to hear their story.

TIL 10% of Americans would beat an elephant in a fist fight.

Every single creature on this list would kick my ass no problem.

Please do not make me have to explain to my mother I lost a fight against a rat.

She'd understand if I lost a fight against a cat though. None of us win against an angry cat.

I'll stop at eagle, but it would be a close match, and I'd need the ER. Eagles aren't heavy, and if you can get your hand around it's neck, it's all over--swing it like a chicken. A large dog would be a toss-up, and no one is beating a chimp. No one. More people could beat a cobra than a chimp. There was the video of the guy besting a kangaroo, but that would not be me. The rest are fantasy.

The longer I look at this the more fascinating it gets. The fact that the bottom rows are not absolute zero across the board. The fact that the US respondents are well over 3% confident they could take on a grizzly unarmed. Is it just a social thing, always responding with confidence ? Or do they have no basic idea what a grizzly really is. Are these always the same people who think they can take on a bear and a lion? So many questions, so little data.

It says 'unarmed' but it doesn't clarify if you're unprotected. I assume not and you're in the standard issue Spandex shorts of fighting. So I would likely bleed out as a result of everything past rat, which is hardly a victory.

I had a wounded squirrel I thought my cat had killed lacerate the fuck out of my arm once. My cat would not have been as stopped at the tendon like that squirrel. And she knew it.

I'm surprised by eagle being so low. Like, they don't exactly have a ton of mass, and can't pick you up. If you can avoid getting blinded, there's not a whole lot they can do to you that isn't superficial scratches. If you can grab them, it's over.

That’s over 2 terabytes of adults! That’s a lot!

Chimpanzee is way too high Jesus Christ. It goes from reasonable shot at winning but succumbing to your wounds later to 20x stronger than you and smart enough to go for the sharp bits

They're right about the goose. Do not fuck with.

I'm way more confident in my ability to take a goose than a cat. Geese are mean and can hurt, but push come to shove I could tank that with adrenaline.

Cats will claw your eyes out.