this post was submitted on 02 May 2025
1264 points (98.8% liked)

Not The Onion

16291 readers
316 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
kescusay@lemmy.world
1264
Giant phallus-shaped iceberg floating in Conception Bay surprises residents of Dildo, Canada (www.livescience.com)
submitted 2 weeks ago by NONE_dc@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
125 comments fedilink hide all child comments
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 128 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

🤌

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 42 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

🤏

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 27 points 2 weeks ago (15 children)

I thought my hand gesture was a chef's kiss for such a confluence of events. Not sure what you're on about.

[–] Theatomictruth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] peregrin5@lemm.ee 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Wtf. This is hilarious. Why are men so insecure?

[–] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 weeks ago

I'm not insecure! YOU'RE INSECURE!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

that radical feminist groups have propagated these hidden messages to humiliate men with small penises

Why would radical feminists target men with small penises? They’re probably already naturally humiliated, right? It’s the big dick men who need to be taken down a notch.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (14 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 102 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The prophecy has been fulfilled

[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The end of days has come

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SoupBrick@pawb.social 97 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

2023, but good find

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 32 points 2 weeks ago

My first thought was ".... Again? They need some better contraceptives" but no, it's the same one... A shame, that would open the door for so many jokes.

[–] k0e3@lemmy.ca 76 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is a sign. The second cumming of Christ.

[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Thats it, you won the comments section.

[–] 2fm@lemmy.world 69 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Two balls! Wait.. what's that? Over there... It looks like a big...

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 57 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Weiner's and beans! Get yer Weiner's and beans! Holy shit kid! over there, that looks just like a...

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 52 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Wang! Pay attention!

Sorry teacher, I was distracted by that giant...

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 46 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Cock your head! Do you see it?!

Oh yeah, it looks like a massive...

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 41 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Rod, check this out! It looks just like a huge..

[–] Sonicdemon86@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Pecker, oh that's not a woodpecker it looks like a huge ...

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Johnson! Radio the admiral! This ship's about to be plowed by that enormous-

[–] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

"COCKLES!!! OYSTERS, CLAMS, AND COCK-- say, am i the only one seeing this..."

[–] libra00@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

Penistone is a small town in South Yorkshire, England.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 66 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Now THIS is what I want to see from this community

[–] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The universe heard that guy complaining yesterday and said “hold my beer”

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago

Everything reminds me of him 😞

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 32 points 2 weeks ago

Even mother nature looked at our present timeline and said "Yeah...fuck it....let's see how crazy shit can get."

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 27 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

You think that's big, you should see the size of it under the water.

[–] FlightyPenguin@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Also, this is what it looks like when it's cold.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] NewSocialWhoDis@lemm.ee 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I am kind of disappointing this is actually from 2023 though! It needs to cum again.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Initiateofthevoid@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Okay... 2023? How did I miss this? That can't be real. Is it real? Maybe this really is all a simulation. But, like, it's just a game of Sims, and the player started getting bored... It sure would explain a lot.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 9 points 2 weeks ago

At least we know whoever designed the simulation appreciates phallic humor.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

c/BrandNewSentence

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FoolishAchilles@lemm.ee 14 points 2 weeks ago

Finally an article that made me believe I was reading the onion

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

THE PROPHECY!

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I mean, who names a bay in Dildo county Conception Bay (or vice versa)? The iceberg is just the tip!

[–] Little8Lost@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

phallus [...] floating in conception bay

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] macaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This happened two years ago…

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And it still hasn't melted? Checkmate, environmental lobby

[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Alas, the iceberg lacked staying power: Pretty photographed the 30-foot (9.1 meter) phallic structure on Thursday, April 27. It collapsed the next day.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

I always thought "D.C." meant "District of Columbia." TIL from the combination of your username and post that it means "Dildo, Canada."

Kind of a weird name for the capital of an entirely different country.

[–] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

We're gonna need a bigger M&M's tube....

[–] cod@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Most of my family is from very near there. I remember when this happened, it was quite the event

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 9 points 2 weeks ago

Someone had an interesting "on this day"

[–] kescusay@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It's old, but... I'll allow it.

Also...

Dingdong. Willy. Johnson. One-eyed sailor. Trouser snake.

Now it's your turn.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›