this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Shawdow194@fedia.io 98 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The joke is always Javascript

[–] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 64 points 6 days ago (7 children)

JavaScript itself is fine. The problem is developers who import a library to add two numbers.

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 50 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Excuse me, but it’s industry practice to always use PlusJs.

Its just annoying that it has its own dependency on MinusJs.

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 4 points 5 days ago

And MinusJs depends on AngularJs and VueJs for some reason, but that's just the cost of doing business!

[–] TheGalacticVoid@lemm.ee 33 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Maybe we wouldn't need external libraries to do basic things if JavaScript had a standard library

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 9 points 6 days ago

What is this crazy talk??

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The thing you want from jQuery was added to all browsers in 2018.

[–] vithigar@lemmy.ca 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'm currently on a crusade against lodash where I work.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Lodash provides modular methods for working with arrays, objects, strings, and more.

I dunno. If it makes everything Array-like act like a goddamn Array, I'm tempted to start using it.

'What do you mean you can't .map a Set? It's iterable! Figure it out!'

[–] vithigar@lemmy.ca 3 points 5 days ago

You can though? mySet.values().map(mappingFunc) will create a new iterator transformed by the mapping function.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 23 points 6 days ago (5 children)

I don't know about "fine". It has a lot of weird stuff baked in. Hoisting. Unexpected type coercion. Too many ways to loop over something and I always forget which one is which. "There's more than one way to do it" is kind of a recurring problem, come to think of it. Several function declaration syntaxes. Dot notation AND bracket notation for objects.

Also it will forever bother me that object keys aren't quoted.

const foo = "hello"; const bar = { foo: "world" }

That should be, in my mind, { "hello": "world" } . It's not. It's { "foo": "world" }

But if you want to do that, you need to do const bar = { [foo]: world }. Which looks like your key is an array with one entry, a string with a value of "foo"

You also end up learning a whole framework, with its syntax and idioms, every couple years. Angular. React. Redux. Whatever.

There's also a lot of people who have never used anything else, and want to use javascript for everything.

Javascript is basically D&D. Wildly popular. Full of legacy jank. People try to use it for anything even though there are better or more specialized tools.

[–] JordanZ@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

This lightning talk is great for the oddness of JavaScript. He starts with Ruby but pretty quickly spends the rest of the time on JavaScript.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

After reading the JS Bible and listening to a lot of Kyle Simpson, I don't find any of those unusual or unexpected, but rather neat in the context of the language. And with enough practice, even the implicit return of an arrow functions jumps out at you.

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[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Use the modulo operator? Nah. Need to import the isEven library and a ton of other unnecessary sub-50 LOC libraries "maintained" by a single dev to make their CV look more impressive. /s

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 9 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Oh Hells no.

JavaScript is NOT fine, it's .... I'm really trying to think of a word that will convey the shit that it is without triggering half the people on Lemmy into an aneurysm, but I can't find it.

JavaScript is by far the worst. I've been working with JavaScript for the past 6 days and I want to hang myself, it'd be a better fate than continuing

[–] Hoimo@ani.social 4 points 5 days ago

Yeah, I had some webpages archived and tried to use javascript to clean them up, but I ended up parsing it as xml through Powershell instead. I've done something with Python and BeautifulSoup too, a long time ago. Both much easier than JS, but somehow JS is designed to work with web pages? Make it make sense.

[–] aev_software@programming.dev 6 points 6 days ago

6 Whole Days!

Try 25 years. And it still surprises me.

[–] Aqarius@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

JavaScript is by far the worst.

PHP

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 hours ago

PHP was shit 25 years ago (like everything else back then) and I never bothered to look at it ever again but to this day I keep shitting on it because reasons

You

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 days ago

Or ship a browser to run a script.

[–] Shanmugha@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 hours ago

JavaScript sucks but I'll give it this one

Arrays are complex structures with multiple values. Just because one looks like the other doesn't make them the same object. It's like taking two new objects form the same class, they look the same but work independently from eachother. I can add a value to one and the other would be unaffected, they'd both still be the same class

[–] marlowe221@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It’s false. Different memory addresses, etc.

[–] Shanmugha@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Like I didn't know 😂

[–] bjorney@lemmy.ca 76 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

> want to compile 50kb C++ console app on windows

> 6 GB MSVC installation

[–] onlinepersona@programming.dev 28 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

"It's so easy to compile C/C++ apps on Linux"

"Just run make install"

"If it doesn't work, fuck you, it worked on my machine"

Anti Commercial-AI license

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 37 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Hm. I've always found it harder to compile stuff on Windows.

[–] onlinepersona@programming.dev 17 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Oh, my comment was more that compiling C/C++ apps on any platform is shit. Windows may be the worst to compile on, but Linux is only marginally better.

Rust is amazing though.

Anti Commercial-AI license

[–] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu 17 points 6 days ago

compiling C/C++ apps on any platform is shit

I'm starting to think the platforms aren't the problem.

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 5 days ago

Okay that's fair. I fricked around with some C++ numerics BLAS header library (I think it was Eigen) on Linux before that was complicated and annoying too. The ARM Fast Models simulator was also a pain. Maybe I just don't like C++ development now that I think about it.

C mostly worked okay for me though.

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[–] arty@feddit.org 11 points 6 days ago

I keep seeing complaints from non JavaScript developers about their IDE not handling millions of files in a folder properly

[–] fonji@sopuli.xyz 29 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Then marketing comes around, asks to add google tag manager, and proceeds to make the client download 10TB of tracking librairies.

At least node_modules don't directly impact the browser.

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The tag manager ones always have console errors too lol

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 7 points 5 days ago

Even if you rawdog the internet with no ad blocker. Actually, especially if you do that.

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 31 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Depending on the design of its memory, a device with a full drive will literally weigh slightly more or slightly less than one with an empty drive. Charging the battery in all cases causes it to weigh more.

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] perishthethought@lemm.ee 27 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] podperson@lemm.ee 6 points 5 days ago

How did you get permission from the elders to take a picture of it?

[–] bartvbl@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

Is it even plugged in? I don't see a wire.

[–] andyburke@fedia.io 14 points 6 days ago

lol at 3/4 of a megabyte of Vue components being ok and thinking node_modules is the issue at hand.

[–] joyjoy@lemm.ee 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

A package manager that does hard-linking helps.

[–] Emotional@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

I feel like every time I've suggested pnpm I got eyerolls :(

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