this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2025
99 points (95.4% liked)

Transfem

4796 readers
41 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I've been saying, "I was born without a uterus", which so far seems to answer honestly without directly outing myself as trans.

Any thoughts on how to best navigate this? Ideally without disclosing I'm trans 😅

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 30 points 2 months ago

To any cis people wandering in from c/All, please review the rules of this community and consider you may not have the same first hand experiences as trans people.

Cis people are welcome to participate here so long as they're not disrupting the safety of our community. Spreading misinformation and maintaining ignorance is not acceptable here.

In an ideal world being transgender would be of literally no consequence. We do not live in such a world. Being trans is life or death across the vast majority of the world. The disclosure of transgender status is a massive vulnerability that is unwarranted in >90% of medical situations.

This thread was not created with this discussion in mind. If it continues to be derailed I will lock the thread.

[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't pass so "never lol" usually works for me.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

lol, if you don't pass they don't ask you the question, silly 😝

[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 2 months ago

You'd be shocked, but it does happen sometimes (nurses, through force of habit).

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I was transfered to a specialist to start a new non-trans related medication. We had a zoom meeting and went through some test results before asking "is there any chance your pregnant?"

I laughed and said that wasn't possible. She looked confused and started reading something on her other monitor. She muttered "Progesterone...?" and looking confused before turning back to me. "Okay Ma'am, just to be clear, you do NOT have a uterus correct?"

😂

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 month ago

ha, I got the "born without a uterus" line from a nurse doing my intake before my vaginoplasty- one of the nurses was doing what I assume was a pregnancy test and I think the other nurse realized I might be trans, so she awkwardly asked me if I was born without a uterus, while giving the other nurse a kind of corrective, "hey, listen up" look. The other nurse did treat me differently after that, and seemed visibly disgusted when I affirmed- but I think it was the nurse's look that keyed it as being trans, because I was in a hospital that sees a lot of trans patients they had a kind of code or way of handling that which I'm not seeing elsewhere.

So I've just started to use that- I was born without a uterus, it's true and it doesn't necessarily out me.

Müllerian agensis is another way a woman could be born without a uterus, but I don't know what the most probable explanations for a missing uterus might be (1 in 4,000 - 5,000 is the frequency of Müllerian agenesis, a lot less than trans women which is more like 1 in 100 - 200).

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] thezeesystem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 months ago

Usually just say something like I wasn't born with them because of genetics. I mean technically true. Although not sure if it would work in states that are really anti trans. But using the nurse just usually continues like it's nothing. But fyi my medical practice isn't really transphobic so just fyi.

load more comments
view more: next ›