this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
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Lemmy Be Wholesome

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[–] tabarnaski@sh.itjust.works 79 points 1 month ago (6 children)

"I am sad" doesn't at all mean that sadness is my defining characteristic. It usually means sadness is a temporary state.

Non-linguists trying themselves at linguistics always often come up with pseudo facts like this.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 65 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You obviously know nothing about language. When I say "I'm here", what I am saying is that I now and forever identify as the grocery store parking lot we decided to meet at. And when I say "I'm running", I am saying that I have become the very concept of speed.

[–] mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Capricorn_Geriatric@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

For normal people yes, for people who lack emotional regulation, "I am sad" can be an identity because you might get stuck in it for years at a time. Decades.

I think the author here is speaking to those people more than just your average joe who could care less about the distinction between state and characteristic because they understand the difference already.

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[–] fushuan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It would be more correct to say "I feel sad", but colloquially "I am sad" is used for the same thing.

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[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

Translating, conjugating and undestanding "To Be" is always fraught with peril. :)

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Language does shape how we think, so it's possible that saying it that way has a subconscious effect. I guess.

[–] oxideseven@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Without a doubt.

Language and how we specifically say things are huge. It's why we are big pushing to redefine a host of things now.

We are meant to use "I feel" statements instead of indirectly blaming others with you statements. Using more specific pronouns to avoid little harms that can build up. To say more specific and less derogatory things like unhoused or inclusive things like people of color. It all adds up.

This won't be the solution or the cure for depression but every little bit helps. If you have depression and are stuck, the making a small differentiation that you FEEL sad instead of BEING sad can be just enough to get you in gear for that day at least. That can be huge.

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[–] cronenthal@discuss.tchncs.de 43 points 1 month ago (3 children)

We need an "iam14andthisisdeep" on Lemmy.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I’m unfortunately closer to “iam40andthisisdeep”

[–] LadyButterfly@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Stay wholesome please

[–] hogmomma@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I've seen a recent uptick in deepish thoughts. This is a prime example of that.

But, hey, if it gets you through...

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 43 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (11 children)

Spanish is somewhat similar. Scared isn’t something you are, it’s something you have (tengo miedo, lit. ‘I have fear’). Emotions are also ‘put on you’ instead of making you a certain way. Ex: me puso feliz translates as ‘it made me happy,’ but literally is ‘it put happiness on me.’

[–] rudyharrelson@lemmy.radio 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Also, Spanish has two main verbs for "to be". There's "ser", which is used for things that are inherent (e.g.: "Yo soy de Mexico" means "I am from Mexico"). But then there's also "estar", which is used for the current state of things, or a temporary status (e.g.: "Yo estoy enfermo" means "I am sick (in my current state)").

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"ser" is a cognate of "essence", "estar" of "state" :D

[–] rudyharrelson@lemmy.radio 4 points 1 month ago

Ahh. I knew about "estar" but I never knew that about "ser". Very good to know!

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[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago (5 children)

And then locations and buildings come to fuck up that way of remembering it, because la biblioteca está allí, not la biblioteca es allí. 😩

Did you know that Spanish speaking kids don’t do spelling bees, they do grammar competitions? Not hard to see why, haha!

[–] rudyharrelson@lemmy.radio 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And then locations and buildings come to fuck up that way of remembering it, because la biblioteca está allí, not la biblioteca es allí.

True that. I guess maybe it's because a building's location isn't necessarily part of its essence. Or how it feels more natural with respect to a person, e.g.: "yo estoy en la biblioteca" makes sense cause a person moves from place to place. I guess technically buildings can be moved but it's still a bit confusing.

[–] justanotheruser4@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Portuguese is very similar to Spanish, but differ on those kind of things. We say "a biblioteca é ali" (though "a biblioteca está ali" is also used).

We also don't use "me fez feliz" (it made me happy) as much as they say "me puso feliz", normally you say "fiquei feliz" (i became happy)

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[–] MrQuallzin@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

German (if I'm remembering right from my high school language class days), does the same thing as well. It's not 'I am hungry', it's 'I have hunger'.

(If there's any actual German readers/speakers and I misspoke, I apologize. This was almost 15 years ago at this point!)

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Native speaker of German here: Both "ich bin hungrig" (I am hungry) and "ich habe Hunger" (I have hunger) are valid German. The latter is more common though, the adjective "hungrig" is more often used as an attributive adjective.

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[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

| English | French | Literal French | Spanish | Literal Spanish | Japanese | (Sorta) Literal Japanese | |


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| | I'm hungry | J'ai faim | I have hunger | Tengo hambre O Estoy hambriento/a | I have hunger OR I am (temporarily) hungry | Onaka ga suita | Regarding stomach: empty | | I'm angry | Je suis fâché | I am angry | Estoy enojado/a | I am (temporarily) angry | Watashi wa okotte imasu | Regarding me: angry is | | I'm cold | J'ai froid | I have cold | Tengo frio | I have cold | Samui OR Samuidesu | Cold OR It's cold | | I'm scared | J'ai peur | I have fear | Estoy asustado/a | I am (temporarily) scared | Kowai OR Watashi wa kowaidesu | Scary OR Regarding me: scared/scary is | | I'm brave | Je suis courageux | I'm brave (courageous) | Soy valiente | I am (permanently) brave | Watashi wa yūkan'na | Regarding me: brave |

Languages are fun. French switches between "I have" and "I am" for these sorts of things. Spanish mostly uses "I am" but it has two versions of "I am", one that's used generally for more permanent states of things, one that's used for more temporary states. As a result, "I'm scared but I'm brave" uses one for the temporary condition of being scared, but one for the more permanent condition of being brave.

Japanese has its own whole system that is so different from English that it's hard to directly translate. In japanese "wa" marks the topic of a sentence, and can often be omitted if it's obvious. So you could just say "cold" or "brave" if it's obvious you're talking about yourself, or you can say "Watashi wa" which sort-of translates as "regarding me" or "about me". The particle "wa" is something used in Japanese to mark the topic of a sentence. Japanese doesn't have verb-person agreement, so there's no "I am", "you are", "he is". There's instead something vaguely like "regarding me: is" If you wanted to tell someone they were brave you'd change the topic of the sentence to them and say "Anata wa yūkan'na".

Japanese also uses the same word for "scary" and "scared" so you need contextual clues or other words to differentiate between "I am scared" vs. "I am scary". There's a different Japanese particle "ga" that is similar but has a narrower focus. Instead of the whole sentence being about something, it's just the previous word. So, I'm hungry becomes "my stomach is empty" but more literally: "specifically regarding stomach: empty".

None of this really makes any logical sense. Languages are weird, and the things that are the most commonly said are the weirdest. What does "I am hungry" really mean, that I am the very definition of hunger? That whole condition changes when you eat a sandwich? What does "I have fear" mean? I have it in a basket? Does "I feel fear" mean that I can sense its texture with my fingers? In English we mostly "are" things like hunger or fear. But, for some reason it's "I have a feeling" Now it's like the other European languages where feelings are something you have, not something you are.

[–] ChanchoManco@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago

This guy languages.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How about German? Being the other main language behind the drunk hodgepodge that is English, it's worth looking into that

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

German also mixes it a fair bit. Following merc's table in order:

  1. hungry - ich habe Hunger / ich bin hungrig
  2. angry - ich bin böse / ich bin wütend
  3. cold - mir ist kalt
  4. scared - ich habe Angst
  5. brave - ich bin mutig

#4 uses haben (to have) + noun; #2 and #5 use sein (to be) + adjective.

For #1 you'll typically see the noun + haben. Adjective + sein is perfectly viable, but a bit less common, and I feel like it leans towards metaphoric usage; e.g. «ich bin hungrig nach Liebe», literally "I'm hungry for love".

#3 uses the dative instead, it's roughly "it's cold for me". If you use "ich bin kalt", you'll convey that your temperature is low, not that you're feeling cold.

Being the other main language behind the drunk hodgepodge that is English

That's inaccurate.

To keep it short, the situation between English, Dutch and German is a lot like the situation between Romance languages: they have a common origin (West Germanic), one isn't from the other. And while English got bits and bobs of vocab due to Norse and Norman influence, vocab is rather superficial, and most oddities of the language were born in the islands.

This table is a good example. English is basically adjectivising almost everything physiological and emotional, while both German and the Romance languages would use a mix of adjectives and nouns instead. (With the Romance languages typically preferring nouns, but that isn't a hard rule.)

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Do you know German? The "I am cold" one is interesting to me. "Mir" is German for "me" or "to me" roughly, right? So, would a rough literal translation be something like "to me it is cold"?

I tried to learn some German at some point, but I didn't manage to learn enough to get comfortable with the various cases.

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I know some German but I'm not proficient with it.

It's easier to analyse the sentence by including the subject, typically omitted: "es ist mir kalt" = "it is me cold", or "it's cold to me". It's a lot like saying "that's blue to me", you know? Like, it isn't like you are cold or blue, it's something else, but you're experiencing it. (It's a dative of relation, in both languages.)

“Mir” is German for “me” or “to me” roughly, right?

Roughly, yes. But that gets messy, there's no good equivalent.

Think on it this way: you have a bunch of situations where you'd use the first person, right? English arbitrarily splits those situations between "me" and "I"; German does it between "ich", "mich", and "mir".

That German dative is used in situations like:

  • if a verb demands two objects, one gets the dative; e.g. "er gibt mir das Buch" (he gives me the book).
  • if the preposition demands it; e.g. "er spricht mit mir" = "he speaks with me"
  • if you got a dative of relation (like the above), or benefaction (something done for another person), etc.

I tried to learn some German at some point, but I didn’t manage to learn enough to get comfortable with the various cases.

I got to thank Latin for that - by the time I started studying German, the cases felt intuitive.

But... really, when you're dealing with Indo-European languages, you're going to experience at least some grammatical hell: adpositions (English), cases (Latin), a mix of both (German), but never "neither".


Speaking on Latin, it just clicked me it does something else than the languages you listed - those states/emotions get handled primarily by the verb:

  • hungry - esurio (verb, "I'm hungry")
  • angry - irascor (verb, "I'm angry")
  • cold - frigeo (verb, "I'm chilly/cold")
  • scared - timeo (verb, "I fear/have fear")
  • brave - fortis (adjective, "strong"); animosus (adjective, roughly "adamant", "stubborn", "angry")
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[–] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah we have that in English, too. We use the word “feel”. 🙄

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 20 points 1 month ago (6 children)

The things English does with the word "feel" should be illegal.

You don't get to use the same word for having profound internal emotions AND to rub your grubby hands on things. That's just not right.

[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 5 points 1 month ago

Well I might feel if you put your grubby hands on my things

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[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In English it is usually stated as I feel lonely or sad. Most English speakers take this for granted. They don't think people are sad, but that they are feeling sad.

I like to use acting like when talking about negative behaviors to not define the person as a negative emotion. You are acting like a douche for instance as opposed to you are a douche.

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[–] KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 month ago

This is a combination of how the Celtic languages do possessive sentences and the very common European metaphor for "having" a feeling

Basically Irish (among with many other languages) don't have a word for have, instead they use the phrasing "X is at Y", where X is the thing being had and Y is the haver. This ties in with the metaphor of "having" a feeling, which can be seen in the English "I have a desire to..." or the German "Ich habe Hunger"

[–] Lojcs@piefed.social 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Does "This car is fast" mean the car is the abstract concept of having higher velocity? Does it mean the car is permanently moving fast or it has not and will not stop?

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[–] chunes@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is one of those things where it's not that deep.

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Actually language plays a big part in our mental state, language processing is shown to play a huge role in the development and perception of our emotional states.

[–] chunes@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

I'm aware.

People underestimate our ability to compensate for shortcomings of language. At the end of the day, you have to choose a way to say it.

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[–] MudMan@fedia.io 11 points 1 month ago

See, you start reading too much into grammar this way and then you learn about how Spanish uses their "to be" equivalent and have a massive existential crisis.

[–] Phen@lemmy.eco.br 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Even beyond just emotions, in Portuguese the "be" verb can be translated into two different verbs: "ser" and "estar". They are two complete separate things - so separate that English classes kinda turned the "to be" verb into a meme due to how long it takes to teach Portuguese speakers to use it and understand what it means in each sentence.

"Ser": to be someone who is something. Usually more permanent, but not necessarily.

"Estar": to be in the state of something. Usually more temporary, but also applies to permanent states.

Some examples showing how the meaning of some expressions change depending on which verb you use:

You are sick "Ser": you are a sick (twisted/evil) person. "Estar": you have caught some sickness.

You are sad "Ser": life has made you sad in general. "Estar": you're feeling sad right now.

You are beautiful: "Ser": you are a beautiful person. "Estar": you are looking great today.

You're good at this: "Ser": literal, you're good at this. "Estar": implies being good is not the default but you have reached the point of being good at this.

**you're funny drunk": "Ser": when you're drunk you are funny. "Estar": you are drunk now and this time you turned out to be funny while drunk. Or, in this point of your life you're funny when you're drunk.

it's cold there: "Ser": that is a cold place. "Estar": that place is cold right now.

it's cold there now "Ser": it's like saying that winters in that place used to be mild but nowadays winter there can get pretty cold "Estar": that place is cold right now.

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[–] jlow@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

So depression is on me as well?

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago

We really need two more disparate words for those who are anxious and have anxiety disorder.

Anxious - (e.g. "world is falling apart and I could be laid off and be homeless anytime" or "I fear strangers who approach me, what kind of scam are they pulling?") which is a normal and accurate reaction to the world but if undesirable can be gaslit out of you via therapy. Likely very transient.

Vs.

Anxiety - a medical disorder due to neurotransmitter dysregulation treated by anti-psychotic or benzo medication. Unlikely to be solvable without professional psychiatric intervention or self-medication.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How do I get the sadness and anxiety offa me?!

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

have you tried, like, not being sad?

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago

Purge emotions, replace with a Dreadnaught level artillery cannon.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

The same language rules are used for control/ownership of objects as well. A book is on you, (or with you), as is your car and your clothes.

That said, the concepts in english aren't foreign or lost in translation. When the language became more than a tool for people to communicate, miscommunications start happening.

[–] DiskCrasher@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

If you're bipolar you definitely are your emotions.

[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

lol no? we say "i am sad", not "i am sadness". that'd be weird.

[–] Bigfishbest@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The English word depressed comes from Latin roots and means pushed down. An old Norse term for the same condition was called hugsott, which translates directly into thought-sick. To me the latter term is more useful because the person suffering has the chance to change his own thoughts, while the former term implies that the condition is caused by factors outside the person's control.

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[–] carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago

sapir-whorf, annoyingly, strikes again

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