this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2025
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A Boring Dystopia

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This nation has devolved into Tragicomedy.

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[–] F_State@midwest.social 124 points 4 days ago (1 children)

At any point in the past, most people would criticize "running from the police" but now it's the most socially acceptable it's ever been to cheer someone on.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 65 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Well these Meal Team 6 chucklefucks are not police.

Were they looking for this guy or did they just say to themselves “Hey he looks Hispanic, nab him.”

What the actual fuck?!

[–] booly@sh.itjust.works 29 points 4 days ago (7 children)

He was circling on the bike taunting them, saying stuff like "I'm not an American citizen," and the ICE dudes just tolerated it until the bike rider dropped his phone, and detected weakness and pounced, before the guy snatched up his phone and managed to ride away.

Tragicomedy is the best description.

[–] TomArrr@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Where did you see this bit? It starts at him picking something up

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[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

They might have ordered food, and thought they wouldn't have to pay the tip if they trafficked him.

[–] madjo@feddit.nl 8 points 4 days ago

Apparently he had hurt their feelings by shouting "Fuck ICE" at them before this Benny Hill/Keystone Cops routine started.

[–] CubitOom 209 points 5 days ago (4 children)
[–] Dreaming_Novaling@lemmy.zip 34 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Okay if GTA is like this then I totally understand now. The way they turned around like pathetic NPCs 😂

[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Nah, if this was GTA, more agents would have spawned in front of him just off camera, and plowed into him with their cruisers.

GTA’s crazy cops were started because of a coding bug. The game devs wanted cops to navigate to the player then brake, before hopping out of their cruiser to arrest you. The astute programmer has probably already seen the error here… The cops navigated to the player and didn’t start braking until after they plowed into you at full speed. Then once you were laid out on the ground, the cops would hop out of their cruisers to bust you. The devs forgot to add any kind of “brake before reaching the player” distance to the player’s location, so the cops would just run you down at full speed. But during play testing, the devs discovered that the players thought it was a lot of fun, constantly dodging the wildly homicidal cops. So they left it in, and GTA was born.

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[–] Mirshe@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

Who knew kiting worked in real life?

[–] db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 40 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] bear@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Apparently he said something like "fuck Trump", and they got big mad.

[–] Whippygoatcream@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

He was on the bike circling in front of them taunting "I'm not a US Citizen" They were just laughing it off until he dropped his phone on the ground. Then they tried to pounce on him as he went to pick it up. Tbh he's lucky those dumb shits didn't shoot at him as he rode away.

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[–] takenaps@lemmy.world 20 points 5 days ago
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[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 112 points 5 days ago (1 children)

That first guy that ran after him pulled something. Guess we'll be paying for him to be "sick" for about 3 weeks.

[–] Marshezezz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

I’m tax striking, I’m not paying for this shit

[–] veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 28 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like someone turned into an illegal Mexican

[–] Marshezezz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 5 days ago

Can’t let fear win

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[–] gAlienLifeform@lemmy.world 95 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Future pizza delivery guy outruns fascist enforcers sounds like an awesome low budget 80s movie but it's not that much fun to actually live through

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 21 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

It'd start good, but then there'd be chapter after chapter of exposition about the Sumerian language.

As someone who loves linguistics, you're just saying that it starts good and then continues good. :-D

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[–] zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 5 days ago

Reminds me of the first chapter of Snow Crash.

[–] SlippiHUD@lemmy.world 22 points 4 days ago (4 children)

I don't even understand what prompted them to start chasing him. So little of this makes any sense.

Are they just chasing random pedestrians?

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 31 points 4 days ago (2 children)

They are allowed to racially profile now. Yes, if you don't run in fear from them and your skin isn't the right shade of pink, they will arrest you and figure out if you're legal later.

This is 100% "papers please" nazi bullshit.

[–] SlippiHUD@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Okay. So we're at Slave Catchers stage of repeating the run-up to the Civil War.

Apparently I was too focused on Trans issues, that I missed this escalation.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 days ago

Time flies...

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[–] SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Made this for you:

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 11 points 4 days ago

They are punk ass shitstains who think 'if we charge at someone and they run away they must be an illegal'. Nevermind that anyone would flee at the sight of their ugly asses even if they weren't in uniform.

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[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 88 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (26 children)

You can tell the cowpoke in the cowboy hat is an expert tracker.

I'm sure this delivery guy was super dangerous by the way he was out in public without lilly-white skin.

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[–] NGram@piefed.ca 78 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (4 children)

Somebody needs to add yakety sax (aka Benny Hill theme) to it

EDIT: Nevermind somebody already did https://bsky.app/profile/luftkraftpikk.bsky.social/post/3lzwu6e7evk26

[–] Steve@startrek.website 12 points 4 days ago

It would be funny if it wasnt so horrible

[–] derry@midwest.social 15 points 5 days ago

Thank you so much, I needed to see this

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[–] madjo@feddit.nl 20 points 4 days ago (4 children)

I thought the idea behind a uniform was that it was you know uniform. who the hell wears a stetson as official uniform hat?!

[–] cdf12345@lemmy.zip 10 points 4 days ago

These are the same guys that would cosplay special forces in full tacti-cool gear at Trump rally’s and counter protests.

Except now they’re getting a govt paycheck for their incompetence.

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

Dumbass Texans

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[–] Curmuffin@fedia.io 59 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Meal Team Six is (*huff*-*puff*) on the (*pant*) case!

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 18 points 5 days ago (2 children)

To be fair, although I'm not sure we need to be, each of them is probably carrying 60 lbs or more of military gear on their body. It's pretty hard to run at full speed with that much extra weight. That info might come in handy in the future, so long as they don't just start shooting if you run away.

[–] SpookyLights@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 days ago (5 children)

No, it's not that hard to run at full speed with that kind of gear. It's hard for these guys because they're cosplaying

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[–] onnekas@sopuli.xyz 18 points 4 days ago (6 children)

Is this real? Why aren't they all opening fire? I thought this is America.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 5 points 4 days ago

They've been instructed to not kill the detainees until they get back to the office. Bad optics.

[–] hayvan@feddit.nl 6 points 4 days ago

Skin not dark enough.

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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 43 points 5 days ago

If you aren't protesting ICE and have a bit of a safety net and a plan on how to deal with these idiots .... don't go anywhere near the US Gestapo because you'll be taken in and disappear.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 12 points 4 days ago

At least this explains why my Giordano’s delivery was late.

[–] RYS@lemmy.zip 24 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Nah, that's the new trailer for GTA 6.

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[–] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Oh man, that other guy standing randomly in the way with his bike was lucky they didn't decide to just get him instead. Then again that dude looked much whiter so maybe never was in danger...

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