this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2025
543 points (99.1% liked)

Not The Onion

18652 readers
948 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Illinois Governor JB Pritzker has reportedly requested that Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem and senior ICE officials suspend immigration enforcement operations in Chicago for Halloween.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 201 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Hey republicans, this is the world you're creating.

[–] MyOpinion@lemmy.today 91 points 2 weeks ago

MAGAts have no shame they celebrate the evil they bring to the world.

[–] toomanypancakes@piefed.world 50 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is the world they want.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Exactly.

For the Fascists, the ones they see as lesser are pretty much sub-human and to be treated as vermin, and they have no more empathy for the younger "vermin" than they have for the adult "vermin".

Just look at Nazi Germany and Zionist Israel for very obvious examples of how for these people the children of the "lesser" races aren't really human and get targetted same as all the other members of the ethnicities they literally call "vermin".

If these people were both capable of empathy and unable to block their empathy on a per-ethnicity basis, they wouldn't be Fascists.

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 41 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

You can't shame a fascist. Time to change strategy.

[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Shame is dead, time for kicking.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

I think we need to bring back tar and feathering.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] exu@feditown.com 90 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

But that's the perfect opportunity to round up all the neighborhood children /s

[–] zd9@lemmy.world 70 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Get rid of the /s and add "brown" in front of children that's their actual plan.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 41 points 2 weeks ago

Pretty sure republicans plans for children have more than just "get rid of" in them.

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wouldn't want to accidentally grab a white kid in blackface /s

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 80 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

US is sounding more like a developing country with authoritarian government all the time

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 44 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)
[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I remember someone describing the US once as a third world country under a first world trench coat.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

We're fifty-five third-world territories in a trenchcoat

[–] rozodru@pie.andmc.ca 8 points 2 weeks ago

it is. it's a "first world" nation where the healthcare of you and your family is directly tied to your place of employment. it's a "first world" nation where mass shootings are the norm and there's an insanely strong refusal to do anything about it. It's a "first world" nation where you're actively discouraged from seeking assistance from the government and in doing so is a sign of weakness. It's a "first world" nation where the citizens taxes will go more towards military spending as opposed to infrastructure.

There's nothing "first world" about the united states of america. It's a country built on a system that was designed to prevent uprisings. If you protest constantly for change there's the strong likely hood that you'll lose your job, thus your healthcare, thus your ability to eat.

It's a guy wearing an uncle sam halloween costume with a nazi armband underneath.

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago

Oh no it's worse, we're a developed nation with global military capabilities that's becoming (is?) authoritarian

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 35 points 2 weeks ago

Even in (most) developing countries with authoritarian governments people don't randomly get caught off the street; this is fascist business.

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 19 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, we're developing alright. It's cancer.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 15 points 2 weeks ago

it has been the moment masked unmarked paramilitary started snatching people off the streets. this is the hallmark of every shithole country.

The US is forty or so 3rd world countries being held up by the remaining states that could reasonably function as first world countries themselves, except we’re all in a big trenchcoat and we have thousands of nukes and a fuck-off huge military. This place hasn’t been “one country” for a while now.

[–] Glifted@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

We're already there

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 46 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

I'd rather hide ICE. prefferably someplace deep, dark, dank, and with no exits. maybe a few spikes at the bottom? Rats, too.

[–] TheTurner@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] lectricleopard@lemmy.world 45 points 2 weeks ago

Please remove law enforcement from the streets so our children are safe. My town growing up had no police within 30 min drive and we were fine. We dont need them.

Ive never trusted cops, even back when they came to my school as a kid. They had that stranger with candy vibe, like they're being too nice. People are only too nice in the moment if they think their other actions (past, present, or future) would scare people off.

Priests and cops. Never trust em.

[–] Lianodel@ttrpg.network 38 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

ICE is ruining Halloween, the shutdown is ruining Thanksgiving, but Trump has one surefire way to save Christmas.

[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Suicide bombing an all-hands meeting of his cabinet?

[–] reptar@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Hmmm. I think I've read about plots like that

[–] Scrawny@reddthat.com 10 points 2 weeks ago

Deploy the troops because the liberals have had a war on Christmas?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 31 points 2 weeks ago

I remember when I was that kid, when I barely understood the world, before I have even leared of the reality of wars, bigotry, government oppression, propaganda.

I remember that 8 year old kid, my previous country facing massive political and economic issues (not that I understood that at the time), that's why my parents left. I was already having trouble fitting in, learning the language was difficult, and being an introvert made that stuggle harder.

I remember my mother kinda just pushed me into doing trick or treating, I didn't wanted to do it... too many people... but I mean, I guess I kinda was fine, free candy lol, at a time when my parents were kinda stuggling. In hindsight, it was a quite nostalgic and pleasant memory, compared to many other memories.

I remember running into classmates and um... that was so awkward for me, because I'm kinda socially awkward.

I remember the candy I hated the most was Reeses and Twizzlers. I know some of y'all would probably disagree, but that's just me lol, everyone's different.

But like... holy shit... imagine if this was the shit that happened back then.

I reflect on 8 year old me, and I think of the immigrant children today, and I see that reflection of my 8 year old self, I see that spirit in these kids.

I... idk how to describe this. But like I think about alt-timeline often, and I could imagine how terrified 8 year old me would be if some adults took me away, I can imagine the same fear if it happend to these kids today, literally tonight in about 12 hours or so.

I was alone once at age 5-7 (forgot the exact age) because I had a fight with my older brother and ran away, and I could've been kidnapped. But I could imagine a timeline if I had been. And it's 10x worse if its people from the government, because kids used to see them as protectors, that belief being shattered at such a young age is gonna cause a lot of developmental issues. Its gonna be hard to even form friendships, I mean I didn't even face much government oppression and I already had such issues from family troubles, imagime being also facing overt government oppression.

Its so sad.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks, this'll save me a thousand words or so next time I talk to my therapist about current events

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 27 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Also now that I think about it: Trick or treaters dressed as ICE agents (or, fuck it, LEOs in general) should be refused candy.

[–] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I dunno, the tradition of Halloween is to dress as scary things so they can't recognize you or hurt you. Seems like the perfect time to dress as one of those y'all-qaeda

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

There's scary and then there's problematic

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 2 weeks ago

In this case, it is both. They're scary because of their problematicness.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 25 points 2 weeks ago

The sickening thing is that they are probably will use this opportunity to abduct children

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Starting to realize they’re the baddies?

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

A democrat asked ICE barbie, sadly this did not come from above, and based on the response I expect they'll ignore him.

edit: They told him to fuck off, the posted pictures of their agents driving around in unmarked vans, wearing halloween masks. Fucking hell.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 22 points 2 weeks ago

You cannot reason with animals. They don’t understand the fundamental logic required to arrive at a non-violent peaceful conclusion.

Hell… even animals know this.

[–] MyOpinion@lemmy.today 12 points 2 weeks ago

Is it really a MAGAt Halloween without children being tear gassed and ziptied?

[–] fedupwithbureaucracy@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

NUREMBERG EM

[–] Blumpkinhead@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

ICE also asked to go fuck themselves with a rusty rake.

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 7 points 2 weeks ago

If you told them there's a lot of latinx in heaven, they'd raid heaven...

[–] DegenerationIP@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

I thought this should be on nottheonion. It actually is.

I have No words left for those pathetic fascist cowards.

[–] LordCrom@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

More like ice will use fake trickortreaters to get people to open their doors, then rush into the home.

Ugh

[–] minorkeys@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Everyone should just dress as ice agents.

load more comments
view more: next ›