this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2025
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TranscriptionA Twitter post by Dana Schwartz @DanaSchwartzzz that reads Whenever I scold my cat, I use the royal we" so she doesn't feel so ashamed. “We don't eat that. We don't chew on electrical cords," I say. It's as if I, too, have a problem with eating wires or plastic I found on the floor and she and I are working on that problem together.

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[–] Successful_Try543@feddit.org 97 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

It's as if I, too, have a problem with eating wires or plastic I found on the floor and she and I are working on that problem together.

That's precisely not the royal we. The royal we would imply that she means only herself and not herself and her cat.

[–] petersr@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago

Came to the comments to say this.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 days ago

We are not amused!

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 29 points 3 days ago (2 children)

OMG I just realized that this is how my therapist talks to me.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 16 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You don’t have to answer that!

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

We don’t have to answer that.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

Yeah. What we said.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I don't... think so.

I mean, she'd have to tell me if I was a cat, right?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that's the law

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 2 points 3 days ago

Oh thank god :3

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

... like you are an idiot child?

Either you are, or you have a very bad and disrespectful therapist.

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I do that with my dog. "We don't need to pee on every bush we pass".

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

Speak for yourself.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 22 points 3 days ago

I just say no in a firm voice and flick my hand at them like it's a paw.

They find the flick very offensive for some reason, so it seems like an effective scolding technique.

Of course if there's an alternative they should be doing I try redirecting them to that, but sometimes there isn't (like climbing on the top of the kitchen cabinets and staring down from the ceiling).

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

My cat started chewing the recharger cord while still conected. She is extremely traumitized so I can't be too loud or mean with her but I am worry she will electrecute herself so now I charge my phone in the bathroom and leave the door close. am I crazy? yes. But I don't have the heart

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I had to banish my first cat from the bedroom. He'd start chewing wires to get me to react - which worked, because I didn't want him to be electrocuted - to get him breakfast.

I loved that cat, and I hated to do it, but I can't have him chewing wires.

Later in his life he was allowed back into the bedroom. He'd come into the bedroom while we were prepping for bed, then curl up under the blankets with me for a while, then leave for the rest of the night.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That's so sweet. We bottlefed my first soulcat. The rest of their life, they would drape themselves on top of my arm for comfort. They slept on top of/along my arm at night. I haven't slept well since they passed

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

We have one now, actually the successor to the cat I mentioned above, who likes to relax on my arm. Right now he's catloafing on one of my legs, not sure what's up with that, but his usual position is to lay across my left arm.

We have another that cuddles with me at night. Occasionally I'll wake up, and he'll realize I'm awake and demand cuddles. He's pretty good about not waking me up, usually.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

“Oh my love, I love you much * scoop * here are some kisses. Let’s not play with cords. Cords are not safe. Oh look here are some spring toys!” * plays with spring toys like they are my favorite thing *

Spring toy! Do you also have the bird toy :3

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

“We don’t bite our friends”

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 days ago

That other cat is chill as fuck.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Plot twist: the cat is training her human to pay attention to her...

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

You’d make an excellent parent of a human, too.

[–] stevedice@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago

I just verbally abuse her in a nice tone and she gets excited.

"is that an approved scratch-/chew-/biteable?" is what I use. I think they understand because they react with shame abs go to the approved scratchers and stuff

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Not eating plastic is a constant battle in my house. Thin shopping bags are a favorite.

[–] CubitOom 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Couldn't that be confusing for the cat, saying we don't do something that they are currently doing?

[–] JustAnotherPodunk@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I just want to know how to make them stop with the cable chewing. I've repaired or replaced so many electronic cords. I'm losing my mind.

I'm learning that I am not a cat person.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Give them something better to chew on. We have flowers growing outside most of the year, so our cats get wildflowers to chew on

[–] JustAnotherPodunk@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

Yeah my house plants are also victims in this situation. They literally destroy everything I love.

I tried putting chili oil on the cables and now I'm convinced that my cats could eat the most potent of Indian food and remain unscathed.

I think they crave it now...

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 days ago

Yep good make sure your cat doesn't feel like you're singling them out for criticism.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Clearly it can’t be the cat’s problem.