Guys, gals, and non-binary pals.
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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Bastards, bitches and assholes.
Penn Jillette has some shit takes at times, but I feel like he landed on a good one when he was workshopping an inclusive greeting on his podcast:
"Welcome brothers, sisters and siblings to...."
Fuck yeah, Kenji! (He's the one that popularized the phrase afaik, apologies if not)
I am not sure, but this is definitely not a Stovetop original. I heard it somewhere else and it stuck with me because it just rolls off the tongue well.
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Oh this is pretty good... I'm stealing this.
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Oi cunts! Seems to fit everyone...
Fails hard if you can't do an australian accent and you're speaking to an audience of women though
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"Sup Fuckers" is my go to.
Reminds me of the official English translation for the Azumanga Daioh manga, where Osaka walks into the room and greets everyone by saying, "Sup, numb nuts!"
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Well, my nose is now burning because I just shot coffee out of it. Thanks for that.
Happy to help!
Dude I literally typed your exact comment, said "ah fuck it," backed out, scrolled down, and read your comment. I legit checked to make sure it wasn't me who posted it.
The south, interestingly enough, always got it right: “Y'all."
That's the singular. The plural is All y'all
Nah, y'all is a small group. All y'all is a big group.
Being from KY I am certified to speak on these matters. Y'all, 3 or less. All y'all, 4 or more.
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Sup fuckers and non-fuckers (ace inclusion is important)
Ladies, Gentlmen, and other androgynous creatures (odo)
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"Sup dudes" is what I use. easier.
edit: if there's any confusion, always defer to the philosophy of Ed from Good Burger.
"I'm a dude. He's a dude. She's a dude. Cause we're all dudes! (hey!)"
Dudes, guys, and boiiii are gender neutral terms and that's a hill I'll die on
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Careful, some weirdos will get offended at that one for absolutely no reason.
I addressed everyone as dudes in a work email once, a woman I worked with mentioned she wasn't a dude. Yes, she was just messing. The next email I addressed it to Glorious Comrades. It became an inside joke between us for a while.
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My manager says "hello kittys", that one is excellent because it weirds everyone out. Especially in a button-down corporate environment.
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Greetings, citizens of earth
"What up, dipshits?"
Alrighty campers
I like the moderately-formal one from Dragonball Z Abridged: Ladies, Gentlemen, and the Technicolor Rainbow In Between!
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"Alright you 'orrible lot!" has been my go-to. But I'm partial to "Hey Nooblets!"
I like "ladies, boys, and ladyboys" myself, but I value comedy over being inoffensive.
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I find "hello, fellow kids" is what keeps me in with the hep crowd.
I learned one from a Tom Lehrer concert decades ago (I wasn't there -- it was a recording)
"As Malcolm X was fond of saying 'Good evening to my friends and enemies. I say that because I can't believe everyone here is my friend, and I don't want to exclude anyone'"
"Mascs, femmes, and they/thems."
Can even give it the 'ol "good evening," razzle dazzle. In my head I always have Bryan Cranston say it like when he narrated Asteroid City.
Gentles all
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