If you like getting bird shit on your newly washed car, you're gonna LOVE getting dog shit on it
this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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If you don't love getting dog shit on your newly washed car, you should have thought of that before living 2-3 counties away from a future Float-a-Poo owner, and you have only yourself to blame.
Just hang it from a tree like everyone else does for some god forsaken reason
Or just do the same as the dog walkers in my neighbourhood. Let your dog off the lead and stare at your phone so you can’t see it having a dump. Not your problem!
People used to do this in front of my house all the time.
“Oh the dogs shitting, better check my phone, didn’t see anything kthanksbye”
We planted tall plants there so now it’s as attractive.
They're totally coming back for them bro, I swear this time it's different
I think I'll just carry on with tying a knot and tossing it in a trashcan. This other stuff sounds very complicated.
I like to tie 2 of them together and throw them up on a phone line when handy
Walk your dog by the local playground and make balloon animals for the kiddies.
And since there’s helium inside, the kids can pop a hole in the bags and inhale the gas for funny voices.
accidental jenkem
Also the name of my garrage band.
Walk near the local playground and attach balloons to all the dogs off-lead.
I'm only crappy when it rains
The world's approach to climate and waste
I feel like Jack Black made a movie about this... Va-Poo-Rize!
Where does the shit go?
That's telekinesis, homes.
North Korean moment
"But won't the heliu-"
"FOREVER!"
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, ...
I've done the math on this before in another posting...and you basically need like 30 balloons for an average dog poop for this to work...
Does it work on human poop too?
Release them over the White House.
Every dog park will look like that 1986 Cleveland event...
Fascinating
Va poo rize!
Alarm, shitty airdrop is coming!
Shitdrop
S-s-s-s-southbound pachyderm!
Chaotic evil in the dog waste disposal alignment chart
Guys, they're on my stoop. They've been landing there for decades now.
Okay hear me out
What if you had one of those hand warmer pouches but instead of whatever chemistry is inside of it at that time you can replace it with thermite?? Then you can just incinerate it on the spot.
Many people just foat them down thw nearest creek or river, or drain that flows onto a creek or river. No helium needed ! Or hang them in a tree :)