this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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Funny

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[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Va poo rize!

Every dog park will look like that 1986 Cleveland event...

[–] Joeffect@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've done the math on this before in another posting...and you basically need like 30 balloons for an average dog poop for this to work...

[–] kali_fornication@lemmy.world 52 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

If you like getting bird shit on your newly washed car, you're gonna LOVE getting dog shit on it

[–] egrets@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago

If you don't love getting dog shit on your newly washed car, you should have thought of that before living 2-3 counties away from a future Float-a-Poo owner, and you have only yourself to blame.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 40 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Just hang it from a tree like everyone else does for some god forsaken reason

[–] Codpiece@feddit.uk 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Or just do the same as the dog walkers in my neighbourhood. Let your dog off the lead and stare at your phone so you can’t see it having a dump. Not your problem!

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 day ago

People used to do this in front of my house all the time. 

“Oh the dogs shitting, better check my phone, didn’t see anything kthanksbye”

We planted tall plants there so now it’s as attractive. 

[–] Bonus@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

I like to tie 2 of them together and throw them up on a phone line when handy

I think I'll just carry on with tying a knot and tossing it in a trashcan. This other stuff sounds very complicated.

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 11 points 1 day ago

They're totally coming back for them bro, I swear this time it's different

[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 day ago

The world's approach to climate and waste

[–] Sunsofold@lemmings.world 5 points 1 day ago

"But won't the heliu-"

"FOREVER!"

[–] Bonus@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

Guys, they're on my stoop. They've been landing there for decades now.

[–] gnomesaiyan@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Walk your dog by the local playground and make balloon animals for the kiddies.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And since there’s helium inside, the kids can pop a hole in the bags and inhale the gas for funny voices.

[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Also the name of my garrage band.

[–] ClockworkOtter@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Walk near the local playground and attach balloons to all the dogs off-lead.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 day ago

Many people just foat them down thw nearest creek or river, or drain that flows onto a creek or river. No helium needed ! Or hang them in a tree :)

[–] squirrel@piefed.kobel.fyi 15 points 2 days ago

I'm only crappy when it rains

[–] danhab99@programming.dev 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Okay hear me out

What if you had one of those hand warmer pouches but instead of whatever chemistry is inside of it at that time you can replace it with thermite?? Then you can just incinerate it on the spot.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 2 points 1 day ago

Chaotic evil in the dog waste disposal alignment chart

[–] AlexLost@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

S-s-s-s-southbound pachyderm!

[–] ArgentRaven@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I feel like Jack Black made a movie about this... Va-Poo-Rize!

[–] Bonesince1997@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Where does the shit go?

[–] gws@programming.dev 4 points 2 days ago

That's telekinesis, homes.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 9 points 2 days ago

North Korean moment

[–] _cnt0@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, ...

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago

Release them over the White House.

[–] Bazell@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Alarm, shitty airdrop is coming!

[–] wuffah@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Does it work on human poop too?

[–] 5715@feddit.org 3 points 2 days ago

Fascinating