Cold chips
this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
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Gun
A Stressball
Homework
They’re both McDonalds, but one is served at the White House.
Scolding hot coffee that melts off your labia with a side of nationwide slander.
melts off your labia
you're drinking it wrong.
McDonald’s food
An ad for a toy.
An ad for a toy that gives you 100 McGems for watching it and a button to buy 1000 McGems for $5.99 (toys cost 1200 McGems)
That math is too clean...
The ad gives 99 McGems, a toy costs 2000 McGems, and you get 750 McGems for $5.99, with 200 bonus McGems on you first purchase.
Now we're talking!
An adorable little bag of Ricin.
and empty fries container
The same toy, smashed.
A discount voucher for McTherapy.
A harsh judgement.
They take a toy
A gun
Molotov cocktail. Or a can of spray paint.
a image of a middle finger
Hammers
A loaded gun
A tool. Generally a hammer, but an awl, hatchet, saw, or scribe will do as well. Maybe even a paint pen or novelty oversized permanent marker.
Sounds like someone has woodworking on their mind
Not really, I just can't expect an angry meal to come with a plasma torch, tannerite, or mag drill with carbide annular cutters, can I?
The contentment meal is a bag of jerky served on a knee mill
Have you been to a restaurant lately? It's the bill, the bill makes it an angry meal. The free toy in your happy meal makes it cost more. The last thing we need at home is more plastic junk.
Syphilis
Small bottle of whiskey.
Probably one of the options below:
- molotov cocktail
- hammer
- chainsaw
- V8 engine
- ice pick
Loaded handgun, where my fellow americans at?
here
Bees
Or dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
or the robotic Richard Simmons
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An angry chihuahua
A coupon good for $5 off your next purchase of 4 sticks of 16gb RAM.
Homework
A knife
A knife. Or maybe something really annoying, like a QR code that goes to videos of Mike Johnson talking
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Printers
The Bible!
Fox News
Small Chinese toys painted with "slightly" radioactive paint.
Fox News
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