this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 143 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Can't get over the white pants.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 46 points 1 day ago

They camo their upper bodies, and leave their legs splayed out. Just perfect for the target to look out and notice something really weird to attract his attention. Good job.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 15 points 1 day ago
[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Khaki Squad, Dockers division.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 80 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Walk outside, and ask, in a really loud, clueless voice:

"Hi, guys! Watcha doin'? I'm just askin', cuz y'know, you guys are out here, and I'm just wonderin' why? Is somethin' goin' on? You guys on official business? Who ya aimin' at? Can I get look? I'm never looked through a scope before, I bet it's wicked cool, can I try? You guys need anything? Water, Doritos? Need to use the bathroom? I bet you do now that I mentioned it, huh? Isn't it funny how that works? So you guys going to be around all day? That's cool, I think I'll just hang out, and keep you guys company, I'll go get my folding chair, sure I can't get you anything..."

They'll leave.

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 73 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is the US. If OP is white, he’d get arrested and jailed for a day for obstruction until a judge throws it out. If brown, he’d be added to ICE’s hit list. If black, he’d be shot.

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Best bet would be to disguise yourself as a dog and start humping their legs

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Not a good idea. Police shoot dogs for fun. Y'know ... "The labrador wagged its tail at me! I feared for my life!"

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

This is why you make your dog costume out of kevlar

[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Take one of the trash bins and roll off lol

[–] EchoCranium@lemmy.zip 23 points 1 day ago

"HOA's gonna send me a fine if I don't put these away. Sorrrrrry!"

[–] Typhoon@lemmy.ca 34 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The solution is easy.

"Get the fuck off my property"

[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Nope, it’s unfortunately not that easy in the US. Not only can police use your property for this… They aren’t liable for any damage they cause while doing so.

Lech v. City of Greenwood Village is a relevant national case. Basically, police demolished a neighbor’s house while executing a warrant, and then refused to reimburse the neighbor. There is a Takings clause of the 5th amendment, that says the government can claim eminent domain and take private property, but they must provide just compensation for the property that was taken… The homeowner tried to argue that the demolition fell under the Takings clause, and therefore he was entitled to just compensation.

The Supreme Court ruled that the police had no obligation to reimburse, as long as the damage occurred due to official police power. The SCOTUS essentially ruled that official police powers (like executing warrants, chasing suspects during an attempted arrest, or staging standoffs) do not invoke the Takings clause. Even if the powers were not directed at the person whose property was taken.

So the pigs have carte blanche to use your shit, as long as they can justify the use as part of executing an official police power.

[–] Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 28 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The fuck is wrong with your supreme court?

[–] Man_kind@sh.itjust.works 7 points 22 hours ago

It is corrupt, the government is corrupt, and the people aren't willing to do anything about it. Not mass protests, not dropping the social media they control, or boycotting the companies that give them power.

So, it won't change.

The administration is on a war rampage also, which means the only way the people will be free, since they do nothing, is if war comes to America, and the regime is taken out by force.

This of course would be ww3, and the casualties of such a war would be far greater than ww2. Many more civilian casualties.

And of course poverty in america. Their government will gove themselves money for luxuries first, their armies second, and their people can have whatever crumbs are left over.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago

A lot of things.

[–] Typhoon@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 day ago

The US has been a fascist state for a long time.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Your assertion is in large part correct, but it was the 10th district where it ended, the supreme Court refused to review it so it's still technically ambiguous.

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sniper class is famously weak against melee attack.

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

That ranged DPS though.

[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 52 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I'm curious to know why they are there. They can't have much in the way of line of sight from there.

[–] Carmakazi@piefed.social 85 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They have to justify their budget and military toys so every barricaded suspect situation becomes a 40 man standoff with shit like this. There's probably a Bearcat off on a side street somewhere.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 80 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Coworker of mine had sniper's set up on his front porch and screw tripods into his railing to hold the rifles when the neighbor's kid had a mental health crisis and threatened suicide.

He was threatening to hang himself, and the parent offered police the keys to the front door after SWAT arrived.

They drove an MRAP through the garage doors, and still ended up using the keys anyway once inside the garage.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 44 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The insane amount of stupidity with toxic masculinity for all that to happen when all that has to be done is call the Suicide hotline or send out a therapist

[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yeah, when leftists talk about defunding the police, we mean that police departments shouldn't be dealing with situations like that. We should quit wasting money on assault rifles, and instead pay state therapists to be on call for mental health emergencies. Police cannot be adequately trained and equipped for situations like this while also responding to murders and arson and such. The job description is too broad, one person can't be good at all of those different things. We need to cut the APC budget and put more money into a mental health emergency service.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

Not everything is a "MAN PROBLEM", this is a political issue, and a police state issue, and a capitalist hegemony issue. It's just easier to dismiss everything as that one nail you think everything is because you took that one online class on hammers.

[–] other_cat@piefed.zip 6 points 1 day ago

If you've got a few proverbial hours and an active interest in the subject, we could talk about the roots of patriarchy in modern day society and how they influence all of those things.

If you don't, then I shall shrug and wish you a good day.

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[–] bisby@lemmy.world 34 points 1 day ago

If you try to harm yourself we will kill you.

Always loved the logic.

[–] vrek@programming.dev 24 points 1 day ago

In an apartment complex I used to live there were 2 "police incidents" which were way overkill. A week or two after I moved in I got home and there were easily over a dozen cop cars in the parking lot. Cops were walking around with assault rifles and body armor. Shortly after I got home I got an email from complex stating there was a emergency situation and everyone was to stay in their apartment if home or stay out if not home. After a few more hours everyone left. What was the cause? A homeless man broke into a empty apartment but with no power had no a or fans and died of heat stroke. When the apartment was rented, one of the maintenance people went in to "prep for move in" and found the body.

Second incident was worse. First 2 cop cars appeared, then atleast 6 more. The complex was on a corner of 2 roads and each of those were shut down by cops blocking them. There was 3 trucks with "swat" written on them. Then they started calling out on a PA system to come out with your hands up. This went on for 3 hours. Finally I hear/feel a shake/bang. Turns out they decided to use an explosive on one of the apartments to gain entry. The apartment was empty. I talked to some neighbors and found out some girl broke up with her boyfriend. She and another friend were home when he showed up and decided to beat her for breaking up with him. He didn't know the friend was there and the friend walked up behind him and hit him with a bottle. The two girls then ran out of the apartment. They ran to a gas station and called the police. It was about 10 minutes until the police showed up and about 30 minutes before they shut down the roads, the complex was less than a mile from a major interstate highway. In addition the apartment was a first floor and had a sliding glass door to a small patio area. This meant they could a. See in the apartment and b. Just break the glass instead of using explosive on the front door. C. Just ask the office for a key instead of using an explosive. Seriously this was such overkill over nothing, yes guy was asshole and beating people up is never right but since it was about 45 minutes before the cops blocked the roads he easily could got away and onto the highway....

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

To feel like tough guys, so they don't cry when their wife yells at them for being so stupid again.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

To feel like tough guys, so they don't cry when their wife

Is out with Jody again

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 6 points 1 day ago

"I mean, Jody's cool, he's just helping her get through some stuff, y'know. She's says I don't get it, but who fucking cares about that girly shit anyway? Where's that guy we gotta shoot? What's taking so long?"

[–] AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

If the house across the street is on a corner, they can potentially see across an intersection to a house on the opposite corner. No way of knowing without the wider picture.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Maybe to the front door? Probably, they're only one of the cover points.

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 44 points 1 day ago

Hey dad, somebody stuffed the grass clippings into cargo pants again!

[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 21 points 1 day ago

YOU PUT THOSE TRASH BINS BACK WHERE YOU FOUND EM WHEN YOU’RE DONE NOW OK?

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

‘Clean on OpSec’

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

I wouldn’t be sneaking up behind them

[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Professor in the house across: duly noted.

[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Good thing they brought scoped rifles so they can hit the perp right in that one skin pore top left of the wart on his upper lip.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"poke them right in the butthole." -My inner demons

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

I hope whoever this was recorded these snipers for as long as possible.

[–] Prove_your_argument@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They could... you know... just use the back door.

[–] frog@feddit.uk 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes! Yes!

hmm...

...

How does fucking the snipers fix this situation again?

[–] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Assertion of dominance will prevent the snipers from taking actions against you.

[–] frog@feddit.uk 1 points 1 day ago

Makes sense to me.

But you know what makes even more sense, them falling in love.😍

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