this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] Sarmyth@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

Sure they could buddy... sure they could.

[–] FlexibleToast@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

Another retread of the Iraq war. They scared us with "dirty bombs" and man pack nukes back then too.

[–] megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Why would having it be in a vest be useful, so it’s concealed until you’re really close? Like, it’s a fucking nuke, it’s not like you need to get in particularly close for it to have the intended effect.

Like, he’s just mashing the image of a suicide bomber in with the fear of nukes to strike as many “panic! danger! scary!” notes as possible.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 1 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

A tactical nuke within a nuclear bunker could be useful if you wanted to target people important enough to be in that bunker? Perhaps he had the thought of doing such...

[–] Upgrayedd1776@sh.itjust.works 3 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

so would any explosive device, or chemical agent, or two smaller assassins in a trench coat. If they do go the nuke vest route, I hope they put a bunch of light graphics on it to be really edge lord and scary with it

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 1 points 11 hours ago

Maybe JD wants a nuclear death though.

[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago

Just Dumb fails to acknowledge the fucked up US healthcare system is deadlier to Americans than the stupid shit that developed in the vacuum between his ears.

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 13 points 16 hours ago

Every nuke can be considered a suicide bomb. Ffs get this guy out of any kind of position making decisions.

[–] Eddbopkins@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

More gaslight bullshit from th trump suckers administration of 2026.

[–] Ydna@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago

Quick, get Jack Bauer on the case!

[–] AlexLost@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago

The dude thinks couches are attractive. Not exactly a shining light in the darkness here...

[–] kaito@lemmy.world 11 points 17 hours ago

He should make one and demonstrate how it would work.

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 7 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Why does anyone care what the VP thinks? His job requires him to be hosting a book club or at a state funeral or something.

[–] mrdown@lemmy.world 6 points 16 hours ago

It is fun to mock dumb people like him

[–] thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

you cant make a nuke that small

backpack? yes. vest? probably not.

[–] modus@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago

Not with that attitude.

[–] fun_times@lemmy.world 22 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

Normally I get angry at these pathological liars but this lie is so absurdly stupid that it's actually funny.

Imagine someone driving their van to a parking lot near the white house and then going "Welp, better strap on my suicide nuke that will obliterate the entire city. I see no other way of doing this."

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[–] Tetragrade@leminal.space 11 points 19 hours ago

I heard they're developing a new Shahed bomb that can blow up a church and rebuild it into a mosque.

[–] Bieren@lemmy.today 5 points 17 hours ago

But we won the war and obliterated their military and nuclear programs.

[–] 33550336@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

Maybe I lack imagination since I would never came to an idea of nuclear vest

[–] GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world 4 points 17 hours ago

JD Vance could stop fucking couches, but that ain't happening either.

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 3 points 17 hours ago

Oh we're back from the wilderness scratching at the door to be let back in are we JD?

[–] Jiral@lemmy.org 6 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

WMD trucks was it one of the previous times the US set the region on fire, wasn't it?

[–] sveltecider@lemmy.ca 2 points 15 hours ago

They're just fucking shit

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 5 points 19 hours ago

Guess the US will be bombing Iran's vest factories next.

[–] KulunkelBoom@lemmus.org 12 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

When will this lying sack of shit starting painting his face orange?

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 8 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

His tongue is already stained orange

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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 19 points 1 day ago

"Vance says" is like when my 3-year-old blames everything on the cat. Who ate all the nesquik Jonathan, was it the cat, or was it you with nesquik on your face? Who can say.

[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Fun fact: the smallest nuclear bomb was (is?) small enough to carry in a backpack.

[–] BiNonBi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Another fun fact: The United States had nuclear suicide teams

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[–] CannedCairn@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

I think it has to be a relatively large capsule or spheroid to have any yield. The form factor makes very little sense. A davey crocket is kinda the smallest?

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 3 points 19 hours ago

Bet he thinks dr.thrax is a real person

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