Sure they could buddy... sure they could.
Not The Onion
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
Another retread of the Iraq war. They scared us with "dirty bombs" and man pack nukes back then too.
Why would having it be in a vest be useful, so it’s concealed until you’re really close? Like, it’s a fucking nuke, it’s not like you need to get in particularly close for it to have the intended effect.
Like, he’s just mashing the image of a suicide bomber in with the fear of nukes to strike as many “panic! danger! scary!” notes as possible.
A tactical nuke within a nuclear bunker could be useful if you wanted to target people important enough to be in that bunker? Perhaps he had the thought of doing such...
so would any explosive device, or chemical agent, or two smaller assassins in a trench coat. If they do go the nuke vest route, I hope they put a bunch of light graphics on it to be really edge lord and scary with it
Maybe JD wants a nuclear death though.
Just Dumb fails to acknowledge the fucked up US healthcare system is deadlier to Americans than the stupid shit that developed in the vacuum between his ears.
Every nuke can be considered a suicide bomb. Ffs get this guy out of any kind of position making decisions.
More gaslight bullshit from th trump suckers administration of 2026.
Quick, get Jack Bauer on the case!
The dude thinks couches are attractive. Not exactly a shining light in the darkness here...
He should make one and demonstrate how it would work.
Why does anyone care what the VP thinks? His job requires him to be hosting a book club or at a state funeral or something.
It is fun to mock dumb people like him
you cant make a nuke that small
backpack? yes. vest? probably not.
Not with that attitude.
Normally I get angry at these pathological liars but this lie is so absurdly stupid that it's actually funny.
Imagine someone driving their van to a parking lot near the white house and then going "Welp, better strap on my suicide nuke that will obliterate the entire city. I see no other way of doing this."
I heard they're developing a new Shahed bomb that can blow up a church and rebuild it into a mosque.
But we won the war and obliterated their military and nuclear programs.
Maybe I lack imagination since I would never came to an idea of nuclear vest
JD Vance could stop fucking couches, but that ain't happening either.
Oh we're back from the wilderness scratching at the door to be let back in are we JD?
WMD trucks was it one of the previous times the US set the region on fire, wasn't it?
They're just fucking shit
Guess the US will be bombing Iran's vest factories next.
"Vance says" is like when my 3-year-old blames everything on the cat. Who ate all the nesquik Jonathan, was it the cat, or was it you with nesquik on your face? Who can say.
Fun fact: the smallest nuclear bomb was (is?) small enough to carry in a backpack.
I think it has to be a relatively large capsule or spheroid to have any yield. The form factor makes very little sense. A davey crocket is kinda the smallest?
Bet he thinks dr.thrax is a real person