this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2026
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[–] I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 43 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I have a penis. I started sitting down to pee about 15 years ago. It's much cleaner, eliminates the splash ring issue. I highly recommend it.

[–] RamenJunkie@midwest.social 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Also touching a dick is totally gay, screw that.

[–] I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 3 points 19 hours ago

I've spent a lifetime touching my dick and can confirm it made me totally gay. Well, bi.

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I prefer to see the pee, as a diagnostic status update.

[–] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 day ago

⚠️STATUS UPDATED, PEEING COMMENCES⚠️

[–] NKBTN@feddit.uk 13 points 1 day ago

At home, sure. Am less inclined in public toilets

[–] DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 49 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yeah, someone said no when a woman asked to touch their penis. Totally realistic.

Yes, you can hold it when I pee. Yes, you can hold it while I'm making sandwiches. Yes, you can hold it while we're on the VelociCoaster at Islands of Adventure...

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 81 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I recommend practicing first in the shower. It doesn’t matter if you’re firing a pea shooter or a bazooka, the aim is not a gift innate to all

[–] GorGor@startrek.website 69 points 1 day ago

truth. when a girl gets their chance to write their name they stop paying attention to things like dont point it at my fucking shoe.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 12 points 1 day ago

Even across two men, probably.

[–] velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone 67 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I've never realized I want to do this.

Brb.

[–] dkppunk@piefed.social 31 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Have done. Is fun.

Also, a She Wee or similar device is a decent alternative for vulva having folks to pee standing up.

[–] velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I'm seriously going to ask my husband if I can when I get home lol

The She Wee!! What an amazing tool!

[–] dkppunk@piefed.social 14 points 1 day ago

lol it’s been like 20 years since I did that. I hope your husband gets a good chuckle at it too.

She Wees are great for traveling and hiking!

[–] Cort@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Just follow him to the bathroom, odds are pretty decent that he'll ask if you wanna hold it for him.

Keep us updated please

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 28 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Worse they can say is no, right?

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No.

There are far far worse.

We're getting a divorce.

I'm calling the police.

Wait until you mother hears what you just asked.

etc.

;D

[If you think that's lame... I pulled my punch. Scared of saying the more monstrous things that could be said.]

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 day ago

🫂

not your fault man. I'll be here for you ✊️😔

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They could get scared and helicopter that shit all over the room and you. Like a Jackson Pollock painting.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I expect no less account of experience from MeatPilot, themself

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I dunno what man is saying no to their partner grabbing onto their junk

[–] velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone 43 points 1 day ago (1 children)

From what I've seen, boners and trying to piss don't play well together lol

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

They don’t. I will sometimes have to sit down and lean over to get mine aimed safely into the bowl when I wake up with a rager.

[–] velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 day ago

Another lie pushed by Big Porn smh

I was expecting to be covered in a golden shower, not an intermittent stream because he kept getting hard again hahaha

[–] NKBTN@feddit.uk 2 points 1 day ago

A couple of times I've grabbed an empty toilet roll tube, put my bell-in, and tilted the tube down 45 degrees to funnel the wee into the bowl. It works, but the tube collapses toward the end

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Being 100% tmi real, in my experience people are poor judges of pressure and sensation on other bodies. I generally don't let my partners just go for it but maybe I'm an asshole

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

Hey it’s your junk. Gotta have boundaries.

[–] DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

I agree. Maybe she's a bad aim. Still worth it.

[–] fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think worst case you end up with a piss covered wall.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hey. Some times you have to trust

[–] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago

"Trust me Jarvis, holding their dick to pee is CRITICAL to the plot."

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Let an ex do that once, she did not know how to aim :(

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hope you were at her place

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Hope someone with a less loathsome names asks me that!

[–] LostCarcosan@lemmy.today 3 points 20 hours ago

Loathsome name? I never heard anything bad about anyone named Schmitler!

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Godric@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

I wish, and it was early college, so I was sharing the bathroom with 3 other dudes. Had to fully clean the barely-passable but disgusting toilet, a 2 foot block around it, and the wall!

I've heard the shower is the best place to try this particular maneuver, and wholeheartedly agree

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Damn I forgot I should use my government name on the internet which is very serious

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's a username on a website get over it

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago
[–] miked@piefed.social 22 points 1 day ago

It was her place so I said yes. I didn't care where it went. She did just fine

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why "no"? Or am I just starved for penis attention?

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If there's a "babe" holding it, I'm not going to be able to pee.

[–] Signtist@bookwyr.me 12 points 1 day ago

I can't even pee when someone else is in the same public restroom. I can't imagine trying to do it while someone's actively touching it.

And to contact the dead you need a Weeja board.