this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2023
132 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

13473 readers
1 users here now

Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.

No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer

Vaush posts go in the_dunk_tank

Dunk posts in general go in the_dunk_tank, not here

Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from the_dunk_tank

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
all 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 78 points 2 years ago (5 children)

Place your bets:

A.) Intra-police-gang conflict.

B.) A hilarious training accident.

C.) They knew too much.

D.) They all saw a bag of fentanyl, inducing psychosomatic asphyxiation.

E.) He's back...

spoiler

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago

PUNISHED DORNER

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago

There's gotta be some corruption or serious misconduct charges that were being laid against these officers.

[–] a_blanqui_slate@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Dorner was a warrior, from the land of the burning sun.

[–] IzyaKatzmann@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I think this is a song reference, to Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, in case anyone cared.

The first line is something like:

Roland was a warrior, from the land of the midnight sun

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

they got Pontypool'd by the word "fentanyl"

[–] aaro@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago (2 children)

A source close to the investigation indicated the deaths are believed to be unrelated.

people call these fuckers for wellness checks and to solve crimes 🙃

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago

A source close to the investigation indicated the deaths are believed to be unrelated.

hasan-ok-dude

[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago (2 children)

we should call more wellness checks on the pigs

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

dorner knock knock Hiya Officer McGrady, we got some complaints about the smell of bacon?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago (2 children)

This is the sheriff's department with the internal gangs, right? Yeah, totally suicides.

[–] Posadas@hexbear.net 44 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

We totally investigated this, no need to look into this any further.

[–] ikiru@lemmy.ml 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ah, yes, just 4 unrelated suicides all by (former) coworkers on the same day.

Must have just been Suicide Vibes Day again.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It's not completely implausible. The LASP has I think 30,000k henchmen, and Cops have a high suicide rate.

[–] ikiru@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

4 in a month, I'd believe it. 4 in a week, a bit strange.

4 on the same day and it's LASD? I highly doubt it's a coincidence.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Valid. It's just as likely it's some kind of fucky gang execution.

[–] ikiru@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is LASD not included in the fucky gang category? Haha

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

In this specific case the LASD has numerous gangs operating within the corps of LASD deputies. So a distinction needs to be made between the LASD as a whole and the smaller groups within it.

[–] ikiru@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago

Oh, true, true. I meant it as the smaller gangs in LASD but you're right.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

No. It's not plausible at all. It's incredibly not plausible. There's around 700,000 police in the US and on average one cop out of the entire country kills themselves every three days.

To say that three or four cops/sheriff's from the same department unrelatedly all killed themselves on the same day is not plausible at all. They just hit their entire states yearly average in a single day. Only a dumbass would think "its plausible", or even possible, and the only way around that would be if they all knew each other and had planned this all out.

[–] Darth_Reagan@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

Only a dumbass would think "its plausible"

Kind of unnecessarily rude. It is statistically possible for this type of thing to happen, even if a more sinister and non-random reason seems very, very likely.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

are you disagreeing? not sure how to read this

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago

It's incredible that they all shot themselves in the back of the head with the same gun, worst case of suicide I've ever seen

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 34 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago

Alternate title: LA sheriff dept announces four new good cops

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 32 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)
[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 28 points 2 years ago

there's easier ways to stop being a cop, but who am i to judge

[–] captcha@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago

Killed themselves with a shot to the head while in a burning car?

[–] principalkohoutek@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago

Reminds me of the underage sex trafficking-related officer suicide that happened a few years back in Oakland

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago

Found dead in his closet, having asphyxiated after shooting himself six times in the back of the head.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago
[–] DickFuckarelli@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Some BODIES are having a case of the Mondays.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
[–] redfern45@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago

Not my problem

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Place your bets now:

  • they found the CP vault
  • the cops reported abuses to internal affairs
[–] sooper_dooper_roofer@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This is why I say the only good cop is a dead cop

It is simply a factual statement

To elaborate:

if there ever was a good cop, they are dead

if any given cop is dead, this is always good

[–] anticlockwise@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Perhaps there are spirits in the air.

[–] BennyHill500@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

When you try to become the fictional good cop so your colleagues turn you into the real version

[–] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago